Cherry Bomb by The Runaways

Foley (on cellphone): Uh-huh. Its like the weirdest thing. Here he is out of nowhere trying to talk to Mike Check–the guy that I’m doing this show for. Yeah so anyways here he is trying to “apologize” for whatever then Mike Check just kicks him in the balls, THEN his kid shows up. I try to break things up with the kid but the brat just bit me! Then he tears up the place. If it wasn’t fur Hughie then I don’t know what would happen. I know-I know taking the kids on tour isn’t a bright idea but since Noelle is coming soon for the show I thought a little family get together would be fun. Uh-huh. Okay, love you too. Bye. *hangs up cellphone*

Mike Check: Who was that you were you talking to Rick?

Foley: That was my wife on the phone. After that whole mess from yesterday she notified me that Jake Lloyd Sr. broke out of a psychiatric facility somewhere in South Carolina. He was in there because starring in “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace” literally made him mentally insane! Just recently he broke out of that mental institution he was in, kidnapped his son out of a legal institution of his own getting ready to be adopted since he’s mentally unfit to take care of his son, and came here! And I thought some of the stuff that I did back in the day didn’t make any sense! I called the cops so they can get Father & Son out of here but the weirdest thing is after I told them where I was they laughed at me & gave me some phone numbers for a free clinic in the area which I though was rather odd?

Mike Check: Yeah the cops are pretty weird here.

Foley: Mike I have to say this. From one father to another and since we’ve heard and unfortunately seen your *cough* “exploits” since my daughter is coming here. If you do anything inappropriate to her; I won’t be held responsible for my actions.

Mike Check: I’m not sure I that understand that particular reference there Rick?

Foley: All right moving on now. Today’s guest has come all the way from Japan, a place dear to my heart for those infamous exploding barbwire matches I had with Terry Funk. We have also set up a ring surrounded by C-4 explosives right here in the studio for no apparent reason.

Mike Check: That looks a tad dangerous there Rick?

Foley: Ha Ha Ha, never-mind that Mike. Do you recognize this voice?

???: Check-san! You dishonor me with shame! Now I revenge get!

Mike Check: I’m not sure I…?

Foley: It’s one of your former radio co-hosts; Chin Shima!

Mike Check: That’s right. I remember this feller when we used to work the Yokohama, Japan market. I went under the name “Johnny Hero” and we were the “The Hero Shima Show”.

Chin Shima: You dishonor with shame Check-san for call me Chin Shima”! Real name Jimichiro Rosshu, one of 40 assistant manager of Fukya Selfu Robotics, also former All-Japan Puroresu number 1 announcer and cousin to redneck Angry Jim-san; who English commentary provide for inferior promotion New Japan! And Check-san, you bring dishonor for always dirty boot wearing in house! Then bring anger and shame to Jimichiro after have us fire at radio station for make disrespect!

Mike Check: I’m not sure what particular reference you’re making there feller? But are you talking about the time we had those wrestling tag-team fillies from All-Japan called “The Jumping Bomb Angels” on the show? I’m not quite sure what I said that was offensive about: “How about you fine bombs make like WW2 and jump on Hero n’ Shima”. It got us fired and ole Mike deported and blacklisted…but I’m glad that I can laugh about it now.

Chin Shima a.k.a. Jimichiro Rosshu: Aghhh! Laugh about!? You dishonor all Japan with bombing war comment of disrespect! It your fault Check-san that wife filled with shame and stop sex date since many year with Jimichiro! I now revenge have and choppy choppy Mike-san pee-pee with Katana!

Ringo: (*walks in*) Mick, was I supposed to be the guest again today?…

Jimichiro Rosshu: (*looks over to Ringo and calms down*) Ringo Starr-san from Beatle that is you?

Ringo: Yes chap, would you be a fan?

Jimichiro Rosshu: (*now happy*) Hai. Use to sing Beatle song when wife have sex date regular until she cheat with drummer bakka…(*stares more closely at Ringo and becomes angry again*) That you leave wet drumstick at Jimichiro house front Genkan! You also bring disgrace Jimichiro with more dishonor!

Foley: Hold on guys, there’s C-4 around the place, so don’t…

Jimichiro Rosshu: (*not paying attention to Foley*) Aghhh! Now choppy choppy YOUR pee-pee! (*Jimichiro runs with his Katana towards Ringo but accidentally steps on a hidden C-4 bomb and explodes*)

Foley: Ah, Medic! …Well here’s a song by an American band who were also a big hit in Japan, no pun intended, it’s “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways here on MIKE CHECK: THIS IS YOUR LIFE!