Monthly Archives: December 2015

It’s Just Another New Year’s Eve by Barry Manilow

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check (picks up phone): Hello KMCR, Mike Check speaking?

Angry Jim: How ya doin’ tonight Mike?! I’m Angry! I was gonna talk about Star Wars on Wrestlecrap Radio but I was too side tracked tryin’ to stop Bob Caudle from greasin’ the grill with Vaseline again and got too flustered to remember my “Go Force Yourself” line! And I also missed out on your Star Wars Holiday special, so now it’s too late to advertise ma extra hot “Flame Trooper” Tabasco sauce! It’s guaranteed to be so spicy that you’ll “Go Force Yourself” in the bathroom afterwards! And speakin’ of “Forcin’ Yourself”, I read on that Internet the other day that ya…

Mike Check: Uh? Uh? Well there John…I…I seem to remember that you were banned from KMCR for using that potty mouth of yours on my progrem back in April. But under the circumstances, since it’s New Year’s Eve and all, ole Mike’s willing to give you another chance and grant you a song request as long as you behave yourself there.

Angry Jim: Agghh, you’re really testin’ ma patience by callin’ me John! But “it’s just another New Year’s Eve”, and since Deal still refuses to hand over his ZZ Top’s Eliminator CD, I was wonderin’ if ya’d play something from it to make me happy for once!

Mike Check: Sure Jim, how about “It’s Just Another New Year’s Eve” by Barry Manilow…

Angry Jim: No! I said…

Mike Check: …here on…THE MACKER!

Angry Jim: Aggh! I’ve had it! Take this year and shove it up ya…(*dial tone*)

I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper by Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip

Mike Check: Here’s another one from that Star Wars special….

Mike’s Daughter: Dad! I’m already in a bad mood and trying to forget what I saw the other day! But please, can you also do some fact checking before you say things! I don’t need more angry nerds tweeting me about this song not being from the ‘Star Wars Holiday Special’! Oh that reminds me, maybe I better go and encrypt the passwords to my Social Media accounts just in case.

Mike Check: Ah, well maybe this couldn’t have been from that Star Wars special? I mean, Sarah Brightman, she’s a pretty filly and all, but she doesn’t quite have the singing voice like Carrie Fisher and Bea Arthur to make the cut on that particular progrem, let me tell you. I don’t see her singing in front of millions…

Mike’s Daughter: (*sigh*) Dad?! I wish that I gave you some hearing aids for Christmas because I don’t know what you’re hearing? I mean, you don’t like Sarah Brightman but yet you think that Bea Arthur, Carrie Fischer and even the Energizer guy from the 80s, for that matter, are great singers?! And never mind the fact that Sarah Brightman has even performed at, not one, but two Olympic closing ceremonies in front of billions of TV viewers worldwide. It’s here on Wikipedia.

Mike Check: Well I guess they could make up anything on that Interweb?

Mike’s Daughter: (*sigh*) Never mind!

Light the Sky On Fire by Jefferson Starship

My daughter isn’t talking to me today other than repeating the words “I can’t unsee” for some reason. Weeelll, ole Mike thought that she was absent yesterday and it seems that I forgot to lock the door before going “Hans Solo” on my “Jefferson Starship”, let me tell you, here on THE WHACKER…I mean…THE MACKER!

This Minute Now by Diahann Carroll

Mike Check: Did I ever tell you fellers about the time when ole Mike worked the Ithica, New York market as Bob Ali, with my old partner Cassius Weave, on “The Bob and Weave Morning Drive”? On one particular progrem in 1977, we discussed the first “Star Wars” film coming out at the movie palace. Now the kids these days are saying that the same film is “Episode 4”? I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there. But what I do understand was that playing tunes by that sexy filly Diahann Carroll on the show sure made me randy, let me tell you. Oh yeah, ole Mike would sure like to “feel his creation” “This Minute Now”.

Mike’s Daughter: (*walks into the room*) Aghgh! DAD! Stop that! Eeewwww!

Goodnight, But Not Goodbye by Bea Arthur

You know fellers, like Carrie Fisher, Bea Arthur could have had a singing career with that sweet voice of hers. I know you fellers would probably laugh at that statement, but it’s still better than ole Mike’s voice became after I was kicked in the Jimmy by that little rascal Jake Lloyd Jr at that convention and then again six months ago, let me tell you.

Tree Of Life by Carrie Fisher

Mike Check: Well fellers, “Christmas Carousal” is over and seeing that RJ and Brad on WWCR where talking about that new Star Trek…

Mike’s Daughter: Dad I told you, it’s “Star Wars”! Please, I don’t need to go through that Nimoy debacle again where those damn nerds got #cancelmikecheckshow trending on Twitter and also threatened to hack my Facebook! There’s certain pictures that I can’t afford to get leaked…er…never mind.

Mike Check: I’m not sure I understand that particular reference there, but since this new St…”Star Wars” movie is all the rage, here’s a few songs from their recent holiday special. Up first, here’s that pretty filly Carrie Fisher, who’s also quite the talented singer like her mother Debbie Reynolds (no relation to RJ?) let me tell you, with “Tree Of Life”, here on THE MACKER!

The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole

Mike Check (on the phone): “–by Jillian Hall here on The WHACKER!”

Mike Check’s Daughter: “What’s going on Dad?”

Mike Check: “Oh just calling in to WWCR to wish them a Merry Christmas and to talk about the time I started that radio station in the North Pole called NPOL, “North Pole 98″, where I worked as ‘Frosty Largerod’.”

Mike Check’s Daughter: “Looks like you’re still on the phone. Mind if I listen?”

[*Mike Check’s Daughter listened in to this week’s Episode of Wrestlecrap Radio*]

Mike Check’s Daughter: “Excuse me for a second.”

[*Mike Check’s Daughter steps out of the room for a second and comes back with a baseball bat*]

Mike Check’s Daughter: “I got to say something dad. If you ever, and I mean EVER, play any of Jillian Hall’s music again then I’ll do the following to you. [*Mike Check’s Daughter starts swinging the baseball bat and starts to destroy one of Mike Check’s headset destroying it to pieces. Pretty impressive for someone with at least 32M giant fake boobs*] Do we have an understanding dad?

Mike Check (gulps): Yes. Uh…how about I play “The Christmas Song” by Nat King Cole…Uh…Merry Christmas Fellers?

%d bloggers like this: