Monthly Archives: December 2018
Mike’s Daughter: I can’t believe it. My Dad slept with Mrs. Claus! My Dad slept…with–
Santa Claus: I know, I know. Mrs. Claus and I had years of marriage counseling to get us back to a normal relationship. You know Mike its a good thing that I found you because I wanted to talk to you about a certain issue. About a little radio station called…WRUD!
Mike Check: Uh…
Mike’s Daughter: Uh…What Dad?
Santa Claus: Oh he didn’t tell you that his radio DJ name was Santa Claus?!?
Mike’s Daughter (facepalm): Oh Dear God!
Santa Claus: Now that I have finally found you Mike let me share a little secret with you. The Elves set up one of the top legal companies in the world; also the elves are pretty good when it comes to logistics and delivery. Who do you think set up the delivery system for Amazon Prime? OH! Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho–I’m going to sue you from here to eternity! Oh Ho-Ho-Ho-ho!
Mike’s Daughter: Uh Santa, before you sue my Dad into oblivion how about you “step into my office” please?
Santa Claus: Look your not going talk me out of it!
Mike’s Daughter: Just give me 5 minutes OK?
Santa Claus: Well all right.
*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus go into her room*
*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus come out of her room*
Mike’s Daughter: Now remember. Your supposed to leave my Dad alone.
Santa Claus: In exchange for what you did in there I can come in and “Talk to you” again anytime I want. OH HO-Ho-Ho! You really are a ho! The things you did in there! Especially when you poured the onion juice all over my–
Mike’s Daughter: Hush! My Dad will hear you.. Hey Dad! Santa decided that after our “little talk” he won’t be bothering you again.
Santa Claus: Yeah Mike. I’m sorry. *reaches in his bag and pulls out a gift and gives it to Mike Check* Here. I was going to give it to one of those Wrestle–whatever guys but since he’s getting coal I’ll give it to you. OH-Ho-Ho-Ho!
Mike Check: Thanks Santa. Turns out yer a pretty decent feller. *opens gift* Its the Shallow Gravy Christmas Fan Album! I’ll play this right now!
Santa Claus: MERRY CHRISTMAS!