Monthly Archives: December 2018

In The Midnight Hour by Wilson Pickett

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Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

The Winter Is Cold by Wendy and Bonnie

Winter Lady by Leonard Cohen

Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow by Frank Zappa

A Hazy Shade Of Winter by The Bangles

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Christmas Time is Here Again by Shallow Gravy

Mike’s Daughter: I can’t believe it. My Dad slept with Mrs. Claus! My Dad slept…with–

Santa Claus: I know, I know. Mrs. Claus and I had years of marriage counseling to get us back to a normal relationship. You know Mike its a good thing that I found you because I wanted to talk to you about a certain issue. About a little radio station called…WRUD!

Mike Check: Uh…

Mike’s Daughter: Uh…What Dad?

Santa Claus: Oh he didn’t tell you that his radio DJ name was Santa Claus?!?

Mike’s Daughter (facepalm): Oh Dear God!

Santa Claus: Now that I have finally found you Mike let me share a little secret with you.  The Elves set up one of the top legal companies in the world; also the elves are pretty good when it comes to logistics and delivery.  Who do you think set up the delivery system for Amazon Prime?  OH! Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho–I’m going to sue you from here to eternity!  Oh Ho-Ho-Ho-ho!

Mike’s Daughter: Uh Santa, before you sue my Dad into oblivion how about you “step into my office” please?

Santa Claus: Look your not going talk me out of it!

Mike’s Daughter: Just give me 5 minutes OK?

Santa Claus: Well all right.

*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus go into her room*

3 hours later

*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus come out of her room*

Mike’s Daughter: Now remember.  Your supposed to leave my Dad alone.

Santa Claus: In exchange for what you did  in there I can come in and “Talk to you” again anytime I want.  OH HO-Ho-Ho!  You really are a ho!  The things you did in there!  Especially when you poured the onion juice all over my–

Mike’s Daughter: Hush!  My Dad will hear you..  Hey Dad!  Santa decided that after our “little talk” he won’t be bothering you again.

Santa Claus: Yeah Mike.  I’m sorry.  *reaches in his bag and pulls out a gift and gives it to Mike Check*  Here.  I was going to give it to one of those Wrestle–whatever guys but since he’s getting coal I’ll give it to you.  OH-Ho-Ho-Ho!

Mike Check: Thanks Santa.  Turns out yer a pretty decent feller.  *opens gift* Its the Shallow Gravy Christmas Fan Album!  I’ll play this right now!

Santa Claus: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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