Monthly Archives: March 2018
Last Day On Earth by Duran Duran
Mike Check: Weelll fellers! Now would usually be the time to announce our April anniversary for The Mike Check Show which we here call: “7 Years Of Whackin’!” tomorrow, but under the circumstances, we’re not quite sure if we’re even gonna be alive to even have our special guest co-host on to…actually, do we even have a co-host booked there darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: Yes, apparently I just found out that those dic…I mean…dears over at wrestlecrapradio.com have arranged former WCW wrestler, The Disco Inferno, to be our co-host for some reason? Wait? Is this some sort of joke?
Mike Check: Who?
Mike’s Daughter: Exactly….but never mind that now dad, my signal’s is being jammed again?!
(*Martian voice is heard over Mike’s Daughter’s speakers*): Mars calling Mike Check. Come in Mike Check.
Mike Check: Mike Check here. What do you Martians want from us?
“Martian voice”: Your novelty Earth music that you have played, in the Earth month you call March, has caused quite a stir on Mars. So it had been decided that in one Earth day we are coming to take—(*signal breaks down*)
Mike’s Daughter: Hello Hello! Dammit, why does the signal always fade whenever we ask for an explanation?! But I think they’re coming to take over the Earth dad?! I can’t believe that this is really happening!?
Mike Check: Yes. This might mean it’s ole Mike’s Last Day On Earth here on…THE MACKER?!
Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft by The Carpenters
Mike Check: Weell fellers, we have been playing those Martian novelty songs by Buchanan and Goodman, etc, all month here on KMCR and still haven’t heard any response from the planet Mars. It seems that my daughter is right and this whole convoluted story about the Martians invading us this year turned out to be false, so perhaps…
Mike’s daughter: Dad, the signal on my computer is jammed!
*A Martian voice is heard through Mike’s Daughter speakers*: Calling Mike Check from Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft. Come in Mike Check?
Mike Check: Hello, Mike Check here. Is this Mars?
“Martian voice”: Affirmative. These noises produced on you radio progrem by the ones that you call “Buchanan and Goodman” have confused our Mars Children and they want to d…d…(*signal starts fading*)
Mike’s daughter: Hello? Are you there? No. I think he’s gone…or perhaps…He’s coming? Do you think that he want to say that thy want to d..d…destroy us?! What are we going to do? And where’s Doc Brown when you need him?
Mike Check: Weell, I don’t know there darlin, all ole Mike can do now is do what I do best…play a song by “The Carpenters”, here on…THE MACKER!
UFO (Answer To The Flying Saucer) by Syd Lawrence
Mike Check: Still no “answer” from the Martians this week, but we have another novelty song, although it’s not by Bill Buchanan and Dickie Goodman but Syd Lawrence’s “UFO (Answer To The Flying Saucer)”. But I’m not sure if we should play this as I think these tunes have “insulted” them?…just like I was last week when I heard the news that Ringo was knigh—
Mike’s daughter: DAD! Stop it! It’s like I told you? The Martians are probably bored of you and gave up on The Mike Check Show? If they were going to invade, they would have done it by now? And besides, Doc Brown is probably fixing the problem as we speak…or he fixed it in the past…or will in the future? Whatever? The point is, let’s just forget about the whole Martian thing and let’s just focus on our 7th Anniversary coming up in a few days—
(*Mike’s daughter is interrupted as Stewart Patrick is beamed into Mike Check’s house*)
Stewart Patrick: Hello Mike Check and Daughter. It is I Stewart Patrick, Shakespearean ACTOR and spokesman for “Pontiac”.
Mike Check: Why are you here there feller? Do you have some information about the Martians who might be invading us?
Stewart Patrick: I do not know anything about your Martians? Do you perceive me to be some sort of Starship captain?
Mike’s Daughter: But aren’t you—???
Stewart Patrick: No. I am not. Perhaps you have me confused with some other gentleman? No, I am here on behalf of Pontiac who have just signed a deal with wrestlecrapradio.com to advertise the all new “Pontiac Montana El Fantasma”: It’s not just an updated transport, it’s so much more. It’s features include a brand new air filter and—
Mike’s Daughter: I don’t care about the features! Just get on with it!
Stewart Patrick: Very well. Do not purchase just any “unidentified flying object”, go down to your nearest Pontiac showroom and get the “Montana El Fantasma” today…from PONTIAC! $2000 cashback!…I’m leaving now. (*beams out*)
Mike’s Daughter: I don’t know what that was all about? But we still have no “answer” on the Martians?
Mike Check: I don’t know there either there darlin’. But the only answer we have is the song “UFO”: which is the answer to “The Flying Saucer” song, here on…THE MACKER!