Author Archives: mikecheckshow

Just a Song Before I Go by Crosby, Stills and Nash / My Way by Frank Sinatra

Mike Check: Farewell fellers! This is the very last segment of The Mike Check Show. But there will be no goodbyes. I’ll just do what i do best and play…

Mike’s Daughter (interrupts*): Dad, since I found out that the show was ending, I was angry, frustrated and scared about the future. But I have come to realize that when one door closes, another one opens. So I’ve decided to make some big changes in my life and I’m also quitting the stripping business.

Mike Check: Wait darlin’? You were a stripper? This is the first time I’ve heard this?

Mike’s Daughter: Dad?! I’ve talked about it openly on this show constantly?

Mike Check: Really? Well shucks…well I guess, I don’t judge you for that there darlin’. I love you no matter what you are. Ole Mike has never been perfect man himself, as you know. I haven’t always been a good father, but I’ve tried to make the most of it by making The Mike Check Show more of a partnership between us. And it’s been fun. We’ve had many crazy things happen here like Boogeymen, Martian Invasions, Zombies, and Exploding wrestling rings, etc. But I would go back and change a thing.

Mike’s Daughter: Okay, maybe I should also tell you that I have also been also scamming men into sex and taking their money?

Mike Check: I’ll pretend you were speaking metaphorically there dear, but I’m still be proud of you no matter what.

Mike’s Daughter: Well, I hope you’re proud that recent events have caused me to make some big changes in my life. I’m giving up the stripper life, not because I’m ashamed of it, I wouldn’t even change it, but because I need to do some growing up. You have always told everyone that I’m some king of “whiz-kid” and I’ve never done anything in my life with those talents. So my fiancé, Laurence, as you know used to be an inventor in the Military, well he and I have decided to start up an IT company. I want to prove that my talents will put all those chauvinist nerds, who have always discouraged “a girl” like me to enter their industry, to shame. I just now have to find what my real name is? I’ve used so many fake names in my old line of work that I’ve forgotten what it even is?

Mike Check: I don’t know either darlin’? I’m too senile and old to remember anything these days…but, Wait? Fiancé? So you and Larry are getting’ hitched?

Mike’s Daughter: Yes. (*shows her dad her engagement ring*)

Mike Check: So it looks like this is a celebration after all.

Mike’s Daughter: Yes. Oh and I need to do something here before we go. I asked some friends of The Mike Check Show to, via a video package, to send their farewell messages. (*Gets out her phone and shows her dad the video clip*)

(*on the screen*)
Carmella: Loser!
Bayley: Creep!
Lana: Idiot!
Rosemary: We despise you!
Thunder Rosa: Mierda!
Angry Jim: Go **** Yourself!
P.C. Popeye: Agh Guk Guk Guk! I’m glad Mike’s been cancelledz. He waz NOT very P.C.!
The Boogeymen: I’m THE Boogeymen! And I’m comin’ to Getya! Bahahhaha!
Taylor Wilde: No! And he’s banned from my podcast too!
Suzie Shuffle: Mike Check?! He’s still alive?! Well F….!

Mike’s daughter (*Turns of video*): Sorry dad, those were the outtakes. Ah? Well here’s the better one. (*puts on another video*)

“Broken” Matt Hardy: Ahhhhhhh! Yeeeesss! Meek Check, it is disappointing that I must bid you a farewell because your Show of Meek Check has become OBSOLETE! But as Mister Meek Maharn would say, I Broken Matt Hardy wish you well on your endeavors of the future! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

Mick Foley: Hi Mike. It’s your friend Mick Foley here. And I was asked to say something here for your final ever segment of The Mike Check Show. I’d like to think that we had some good times, I mean, there were some slight mishaps during my time being a guest on your show like, giving you free wrestling tickets although you couldn’t leave the house to use them. Also, inviting Yurple The Clown, who gave you a heart attack…oh, and placing a C4 exploding ring in your house was not very a good idea in hindsight. But I’d also like to think that if never foolishly broke your windows after throwing out newspapers at them during my paper route, in my youth, we would have probably never ended up being friends. So it’s all good, I hope??? Anyway, good luck Mike, and HAVE A NICE DAY! BANG BANG!

STAN: Hello Mike. This is Stan Venus, I have just hopped away from the dark realm in my handsome human form for just a moment because I heard that your show was ending. Well I wanted to take this opportunity to fess up. All the bad things that have happened to you on your show, before my transformation to being a good devil, was all to do with me. Yes, the fireworks, the possessions of people to piss you off. All me. And I am feeling bad because after seeing your “best of” recap for you 10th Anniversary last month, there was one particular man that I caused you to have a massive hatred of. That man is former Beatles drummer; Ringo Starr. Yes, I possessed him all along because…I was just jealous of you, Mike. You got all the chicks and I’m just down in hell doing a boring job for many millennia all because I had a big argument with my dear old dad. It wasn’t until I developed my new Stan Venus persona that I became happy. But now I’m back I hell and I’ve realized that I’ll never be you, I’ll just be the best devil I can be. Oh, before I forget, I have Ringo with me to wish you luck. (*to Ringo, who now appears on camera*) Would you like to say something to Mike Check?

Ringo Starr: Who’s Mike Check? And how did you get in my house? Security!

STAN: Ah, I have got to run, Mike! Oh, and one thing real quick. I had nothing to do with Sheriff Dickwell, he want to kill you because you were a dead beat dad. So see ya soon in hell! (*looks back and security guards are chasing STAN*) Cheers! (*video ends*)

Mike Check: Fascinating. Well shucks. Thanks for that dear, that’s a lot to take in. Well without any further ado. Here’s “Just a Song Before I Go” by Crosby, Stills and Nash here on THE MACKER!

Okay. Okay fellers. Ole Mike is not yet done without playing an encore. So here’s “My Way by” Frank Sinatra, for the final time, here on THE MACKER!

Fight To Survive by Stan Bush / Halcyon + On + On by Orbital

Well fellers! Here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for! Our final best moment on The Mike Check Show’s tenth Anniversary special was was ole Mike’s Karate fight with the Question Mark. Who wons this one? Well no one really as it was interrupted by someone who had enough of our little feud:

Angry Jim (*on commentary*): Well, were back on Mike Check’s “9 Years of Whackin”, ladies and gentlemen, as the fight between Mike Check and The Question Mark continues! It seems that Mike is getting frustrated with Question Mark’s stalling! Wait! Now they’re, nose to nose and Mike throws another right punch to the Question Mark! But Mark ducks it and…what is he doing?!…By gawd…Question Mark just threw some kind of white powder in mike checks eyes!? By gawd! And that not cocaine, ladies and gentlemen, I can tell…not from my own experience but…By gawd! Mike Check has been blinded! That **** ***** Question Mark! I had feeling that this wouldn’t be a fair fight!

Mike’s Daughter: Dad! Are you alright?!

Mike Check: My eyes! I can’t see a darn thing!

Angry Jim (*on commentary*): Now Question Mark is taking advantage of Mike’s loss of eyesight and is kicking his *** like a wounded mule! I wish somebody could please stop this!

Mike Check (*Mike is knocked to the ground by Question Mark): I’m sorry, I have nothing left.

“Broken” Matt Hardy: No! Meek Check! Remember your lesson in fighting the invisible Abraham Lincoln! If you use your expert senses, you willindeed defeat the Mark of Question!

Mike’s daughter: Yeah, get up! Over the top Dad!…or whatever the proper movie cliche it is to say in this moment!?

Mike Check: Yes, I will “Fight To Survive” (*Mike Check gets back on his feet*)

Angry Jim (*on commentary*): By Gawd! It like a miracle!? Mike is back up! And now he’s ducking several strikes attempted by the Question Mark! Now Mike Check counters by repeatably striking the Question Mark with his rights and lefts! Good gawd almighty! How is he doing this?! I’ve never seen anything like this in my life! The Question Mark is now groggy, and Mike Check gives Question mark a huge round house kick! By gawd! Mark is down! Mark is down! Mark is down! How does a old man who can’t even walk past the door of his own house even manage to do this?! It’s super human?! And it seems that Question Mark is almost out cold! Now, Mike crouches and is about to give Question mark a one inch punch to smash in his **** skull!…but why is Mike hesitating!?

Mike Check: (*to Question mark*) Do you wanna live, or die there feller?

Question Mark: EYYYYEEEEEE?!?!?!?

Mike Check: I’m assuming you said die?…but you’ve wrong. (*Mike unclenches his fist and “boops” Question Mark on the nose*)

Mike’s daughter: You did it dad! But is Question Mark still alive?

Mike Check: Yes, I cannot end another man’s life.

Aron Stevens: Uh…I’m out of here! (*Aron runs away*)

Mike Check: Well I hope when this feller gets up, I can convince him to come to his senses?

Mike’s Daughter: Dad! Behind You!

Angry Jim (*on commentary*): By gawd. This fight is not over as The Question Mark is miraculously back up and about to attack Mike Check from behind—

*Female voice in the background*: Stop this! You idiots!

Angry Jim (*on commentary*): By gawd is that…yes it is..It’s Thunder Rosa! What is she doing here on “Mike Check’s 9 Years of Whackin'”?

Thunder Rosa: Mike Check and Question Mark. Stop this fight at once! Are you two stupid or something?!

Question Mark: EYYYYEEEEEE?!?!?!?

Mike Check: He says that he only wanted to fight for your honor, like in that song from “Karate Kid Part 2”?

Question Mark: Kar-ar-taaaayyyy!

Mike Check: Yes of course. But I do agree with her there feller, you are stupid. You were about to attack ole Mike from behind, what’s the honor in that? It’s quite obvious that you were about to disgrace yourself and your whole family. Now, I’m sure that Thunder Rosa, my little Spanish rose, will pick ole Mike instead of you, feller.

Thunder Rosa: Are you serious?! You know I have a husband and kids at home?!

Mike Check: Well, it not like that hasn’t stopped ole Mike before?

Thunder Rosa: Why you (*screams multiple curse words in Spanish at Mike*)

Mike Check: I’m sorry. It was just a little joke?

Question Mark: EYYYYEEEEEE?!?!?!?

Thunder Rosa: Oh, you have no moral high ground here either! You both can go…Cómo se dice?

Angry Jim: I think the words you’re lookin’ for is “Go **** yourselves”!

Thunder Rosa: Exactly. I’m going home. And don’t either of you follow me! (*Thunder Rosa storms off*)

(*Mike Check, his daughter, Matt hardy, STAN, and Question mark are all in stunned silence*)

Mike Check: So…we’re friends then?

Question Mark: (*confused and looks toward “Broken” Matt Hardy): EYYYYEEEEEE?!?!?!?

Broken Matt hardy: YEEESSSS! My essence Damascus, who was previously in Question Mark’s father Vessel, forgives you Meek Check and says that you are a great Warrior after what he just witnessed. He also is proud of The Mark of Question, but says that he still has much to learn…perhaps Meek Check could teach him?

Mike Check: So? How about it, there feller?

Question Mark: EYYYYEEEEEE?!?!?!? (*shakes Mike’s hand*)

Mike’s daughter: Just you both remember to wash those hands, social distancing, remember?

(*All laugh as Happy victory music plays*)

The Zoo by Scorpions

Well since ole Mike was a little rusty in my karate skills. Yours truly had to go through some intense training with the guidance of Wookie Matt. I had to face my fears and spar with some tough foes like a Kangaroo that was a reincarnation of legendary boxer “Smokin'” Joe Frazier.

Mike Check: So what will I have to do in my training first “Wookie” Matt?

“Broken” Matt Hardy: That’s “BROKEN” Matt Hardy to you Mike! But the first task in your Kar-ar-tay training to to come with me to my own personal zoo at the Hardy Compound and spar with Smokin’ Joe! YEEEEEESSSS!

Mike’s daughter: Uh? But my dad can’t leave the house, he still wears that ankle bracelet. The police will send him back to prison if they find out that he’s gone?

“Broken” Matt Hardy: *Mentally deactivates Mike’s ankle bracelet* I see no problem with such mere “jewellery of surveillance”, I will now teleport us all with the ability to bend space and time so that the officers of authority do not know that you were even miiissing. (* Matt teleports them all to his compound*)

Mike Check: Well there feller, so where’s this Smokin’ Joe that you want ole Mike to spar with? That reminds me, did I ever tell you fellers about the time I knocked out this young rookie called Joe Frazier in a sparing session?

“Broken” Matt Hardy: YEEESSSS! That is precisely who this is right here (*points to a large Kangaroo*)

Mike’s daughter: That’s a Kangaroo? Is this some type of joke?

“Broken” Matt Hardy: I do not jest, Daughter of Meek Check with large Mammary glands, the essence of former Heavyweight Boxing champion Smokin’ Joe Frazier, lives inside this creature you call a Kangaroo and…what’s that Joe? You are still filled with ire that Meek Check once knocked you out in a session of sparing? WONDERFUL! Well I suggest you use that MOTIVATION and give Meek Check all you have!

Mike Check: What?! (*Smokin’ Joe goes after Mike Check and grabs him in a tight headlock*) Ahh?! let go of me there feller, I’m sorry that Ole Mike was a pain in the ass to you that time!

“Broken” Matt Hardy: Nonsense! You must remember your skills in Kar-at-aaaayy to defeat him. Yeesss! Yeesss! Punish him!

Mike’s daughter: Uh, but I think that Kangaroo is really strangling my dad to death?

“Broken” Matt Hardy: No. Have trust in your father.

(*Mike Check counters Smokin’ Joe’s head lock with a judo throw, Joe hops up and attempts to kick Mike with both feet, but Mike rolls underneath the Kangaroo, he stands up and punches Joe in the nose. Smokin’ Joe then hops away in fear*)

Mike’s daughter: What the hell?!

“Broken” Matt Hardy: See, I told had you. Meek Check still has his skills and instincts, he just needs to re-enable them. What I just witnessed was DELIGHTFUL, but more training is needed. Post haste!

Mike Check: I think so too there feller! (*mumbles to himself and sighs*) I’m too old for this Zoo sh…

A Taste of Things To Come by George S. Clinton / The Karate Rap by David and Holly Whitstock Seeger

Well fellers! We’ve reached the 9th Anniversary in Our 10th Anniversary special. And last year I was challenged by The Question Mark, who was both a friend and foe to yours truly before his recent passing a couple of months ago, God rest his soul. But anyway, who challenged ole Mike to a Karate fight all because I dedicated some love songs to a pretty filly named “Thunder Rosa” that he also had a crush on. Oh, and he also happened to be the son of the guy I trained with in Mongrovian Karate back when I worked in their market. Did I also mention that he was also angry with ole Mike because he though I had an affair with his mother? Well he is our first confrontation when The Question mark wanted to demonstrate his Karate skills:

Aron Stevens: Mike Check. The Question Mark has decided not to fight you just yet. First, he wants to demonstrate to your listeners “A Taste of Things To Come”

Aron Stevens: (*clears throat*) The following is a self defense seminar and demonstration brought to you by the Mongrovian Karate Association.

Question Mark: Kar-ar-taaaayy!

Mike’s Daughter: So, you’re going to do a Martial Arts seminar…over the Radio???

Aron Stevens: …SILENCE! I ask you at this time to show the proper respect for my Sensei: The Question Mark by facing toward Mongrovia and bow. (*Stevens and Question Mark both bow*) First of all, The Question Mark will demonstrate “The Kata”. (*Question Mark demonstrates the Kata*) Notice his fluid movement, Mike. This stems from “Northern Style Praying Mantis Waterfall Technique”. Something that he has perfected better than you, Mike. Years of Precision all capped into 20 seconds of excellence.

Mike Check: That doesn’t impress me much there feller.

Aron Stevens: SILENCE! You don’t believe in Sensei Question Mark’s superior abilities? Well now witness how he will demonstrate his Mongrovian Martial Arts technique on a couple of his students. (*Two skinny guys with black masks arrive and bow to Question Mark and Question Mark takes one of them down with a strike to the chest*) Impressed yet Mike?

Mike Check: Nope.

Aron Stevens: Well you have seen nothing yet. Today we live in violent times and although Mongrovians have no need for guns, unlike Americans. However, everyday household items are tend to be used to make an attack…OH NO! It’s a spatula!

(*2nd student pretends to attack Question Mark with an invisible spatula and Question Mark blocks his arm and takes him down with takes him down with a chop to the back of his leg.*)

Aron Stevens: So what happens when there’s more than one attacker, you may ask? (*at the students*) Gentleman, your positions. Ready!? GO! (*Both students are kicked in the mid section by Question Mark and each taken down by a strike to their throats.

Mike’s Daughter: So he can take down two skinny guys? Big deal? Even my old fragile dad could take those two out.

Aron Stevens: Shut Up! If you don’t believe in Sensei Question Mark’s power by now, well just pay attention to the finale. (*The two students pick up a piece of wood and hold it horizontally in front of Question Mark*) The is not just any 2X4, this is Mongrovian Oak. 10 ten times stronger than any Oak known to man, 20 times stronger than a human bone. Witness as Sensei Question Mark will break this oak with only one hand chop, something that I understand that you, Mike, were never able to achieve under the tutelage of The Question Mark’s grandfather many years ago.

(*Question Mark warms up as he motions that he is going to break the Oak but stalls many times*)

Mike Check: Wait A minute feller. Why don’t you let ole Mike break that weak piece of plywood for ya. (*Mike Check goes over to attempt to hand chop the piece of wood but is attacked by the two students, Mike Check block them and takes them both out with a singe punch*)

Mike’s Daughter: Dad?! You you alright?!…(*Looks around as Question Mark and Aron Stevens have appeared to have vanished*) Wait? Where did Question Mark and Aron Stevens go?

Mike Check: I’m not sure darlin’, but what ole Mike is gonna do to them will be worse than the song “The Karate Rap”, let me tell you.

Interstellar Overdrive by Pink Floyd / Slime Creatures from Outer Space by “Weird Al” Yankovic

During another Halloween Hootenanny. My Martian friends returned to Earth to learn about Halloween and “Trick Or Treating”. And who better to learn them from than the ghost of Roddy Rowdy?

Mike Check: Well Roddy Rowdy? We’re all wearing neon because it’s dark outside Mike Check HQ. So what’s your second Halloween Tip for these two Martian fellers?

Ghost of Roddy Piper: Well you see, you’re gonna have to take care of yourself when crossing the street because there’s idiots driving cars! Some of them don’t care! Some of those idiots are gonna run you over!

Checkdar (*doesn’t bother to finish listening to Piper finish his tip as he running across the street avoiding crazy drivers almost running him over*): Whoa! These Earth drivers are crazy! Why must Earthlings insist at traveling at the speed of “Interstellar Overdrive” on their primitive four wheel motor cars?

Ghost of Roddy Piper: That’s why…I’ll give you a bonus tip…look both ways before you cross the damn street!

Jimdar: Useless information! I have a better idea (*Jimdar crosses the road and a speeding car screeches to a halt right in from of him*)

“Idiot In Car”: Hey you freek! Get off the road you jerk!

Jimdar: Are those colorful metaphors you are using? Well Go Kcuf Yourself! (*blows up car with his ray gun*)

Mike’s daughter: Jimdar! You can’t do that sort of thing here!

Jimdar: I succeeded in crossing the road, did I not!? Ha! “Roads”! Such a primitive concept!

Mike Check: …Fascinating.

Mike Check: Well there Martian fellers, that first house you Trick Or Treated at was a disaster, but you seemed to manage to get some candy from some of the other neighbors after we were off the air. So Rowdy, what is your next Halloween tip there feller?

Ghost Of Roddy Piper: Now when ya get all ya candy, whatcha gonna do is ya gonna take ya candy back home before you eat it.

Jimdar: Why consume this desert; you call Candy, at home? Why cannot you consume it here immediately?

Mike’s daughter: Well, it’s a good tip for kids because it has been rumored that there have been some cases where people have poisoned or put Razor blades in—

Checkdar: Aaggghhh!

Mike’s daughter: What’s wrong Checkdar?

Checkdar: Do I have something in my teeth? (*opens mouth and there’s a razor blade wedged in his teeth*)

Mike’s daughter: Uh? Yes? Uh? I think you better see a doctor–

Jimdar: Agggh! What type of Kcufing Earth nincompoop would supply me with this round fruit covered in some red sticky substance! It tastes like some sort of “Slime Creature from Outer Space”?!

Piper: Ya know? That was probably a candy apple with the poison in it? Eh, why don’t ya send it to Vince McMahon, so you can look like Moolah?

Jimdar: Negative, this Earthling excrement containing Earth poison has no shape-shifting effect on me!

Checkdar: And who is this Meek Mahaan?! And why would this candy apple make him appear to shape-shift into a colloquialism for Earth currency?

Mike Check: Yes, I didn’t understand that particular reference there either?

Mike’s Daughter: *sigh* He was talking about…never mind! It was a joke anyway! Geez!

Hugging Song by Tony Brigmon

Well fellers! Our 8th Anniversary kid friendly special had many special guest to educate our audience. WWWF superstar “Barley” was one memorable guest who educated ole Mike not to “hug” a filly for too long, let me tell you.

Mike’s Daughter: We have a huge treat today on The NEW Mike Check Show! Well when our next special guest found out that we were now entertaining you kids, she couldn’t wait to co-host with us, so here’s…current WWE Superstar: Bayley!

Mike Check: Whoa! Where did those used car sales men balloons come from?

Bayley: Oh, Hi Mike they’re part of my entrance. And oh, hi kids, I’m Bayley, nice to meet you all.

Mike Check: Fascinating. So what word of the day did a pretty young filly such as yourself bring with you?

Bayley: Well since I’m known to be a “hugger”, my word is “hugging”. Whenever I greet my family and friends I always love to give a nice warm hug. My bestie Sasha banks and I always hug each other after winning our tag team matches in WWE.

Mike’s Daughter: How about after losing?

Bayley: Huh?

Mike Check: Ooohhhhh, I bet you and Tasha love hugging? There’s nothing that gives ole Mike a warm fuzzy feeling inside than seeing two pretty fillies hug.

Bayley: Ah? Okay Mike? But the way you said that is making me little uncomfortable.

Mike Check: Uh? no. I didn’t mean anything rude by it, of course…why don’t you hug my daughter and demonstrate to the kids what a hug looks like?

Bayley: Okay (*tries to hug Mike’s Daughter but can’t, for “two” obvious reasons, seem to get her arms around her*)

Mike’s Daughter: Thanks Bayley, nice try, I guess. So that’s it for today—

Mike Check: How about a hug for ole Mike there?

Mike’s Daughter: Uh? Dad, don’t worry about it.

Bayley: Why I’d love to (*Bayley hugs Mike, but Mike won’t let go and gets a bit grabby*) Ah, Mike? I think that’s too much hugging?

Mike Check: I don’t think there’s ever too much huggi—

(*Bayley grabs Mike tighter into a bear hug and drops Mike with the Bayley-to-Belly suplex. She then gets up and gives Mike multiple elbows drops*)

Mike’s Daughter: Uh? That might be too many elbow drops Bayley?

Bayley: There’s never too many elbow drops! (*gives Mike another elbow drop*)

Mike’s Daughter: Well while Bayley and my dad are playing wrestling, why don’t we go to a song, here on The NEW Mike Check Show.

Bohemian Rhapsody by The Muppets

Since our G rated format for our 8th Anniversary wasn’t working so well and losing in the rating, we enlisted the help of our old friend “Bookie” or “Wookie” Matt for some assistance there. But unfortunately, our “word of the day” was still “failure”:

Mike’s daughter: Look dad, this whole educational G rated show is just been disastrous, maybe we should just give this whole thing up?

Mike Check: I don’t think we should should give up yet there darlin’, there’s still time to turn this progrem around?

Mike’s daughter: Well our numbers thing was an epic fail, and the alphabet thing is going no…Oh, wait? Are we on? Uh…Hi kids, my dad and I were just discussing—

(*Mike’s daughter is interrupted by Broken/Woken Matt Hardy and his brother Jeff being teleported by Vanguard 1 into Mike Check’s living room*)

Woken Matt: YYYYEEEESSSSSSS! Brother Nero, Vanguard 1, This will be a WONDERFUL location to document my “Weekly Woken Word of The Week”!

Mike’s Daughter: The Hardy Boyz? But I don’t remember booking any of you for our show today? And I thought you weren’t “Woken” or Broken anymore, Matt?

Woken Matt: (*changes to normal accent*) Well you could say that, but I have recently become MULTIFARIOUS, so I’ll change to what ever “version” (*does the V1 hand sign*) of myself the situation requires. (*changes back to Woken accent*) But today, it was of great importance that I transform and become WOKEN once again. YYYEEEEESSS! And I have arrived with my Brother Jeff, my brother Nero, to provide you with some assistance under the request of my dear King Maxell and Lord Wolfgang, who are FAANS of your MEEK Check Progrem of the NEW!

Mike’s daughter: Really, well we can use anything right now? Actually, the show today is all yours, go ahead.

Woken Matt: Very well, MEEK Check’s daughter with large mammary glans! If you have not heard, I have been performing weekly segments on The Tube of You in order to educate a larger use of vocabulary to the WWE Universe!

Jeff Hardy: That’s right Matt, and we were thinking of a word for today and couldn’t think of just one, man. I was watching a film called “Bohemian Rhapsody”, which is about one of my favorite rock bands, Queen. And there are two words in that title that I didn’t even know what they meant until my brother Matthew Moore Hardy explained them to me.

Woken Matt: That is absolutely CORRECT brother Nero. As a BONUS, there will be not one but TWO Woken Words of the week! YYYYEEESSS! The word of firsts is “Bohemian” which is a noun which meaning is: “a socially unconventional person, especially one who is involved in the arts.” And the word “Rhapsody”, which is also a noun, which meaning is: “an instrumental composition irregular in form and suggestive of improvisation”. Now let me use them in a sentence to give it CON-TEXT! MEEK Check is so “Bohemian” that his Progrem has become nothing more than a “Rhapsody”!

Mike Check: I’m not sure I understand that particular reference there Wookie Matt?

Woken Matt: The words that I speak are a lesson to you MEEK Check. The goal of my Tube Of You progrem is to provide the three EEEE’s which are to “Educate”, “Entertain”, and “Enlighten” and you must do the same here for your own listeners so they are able to experience all three! If you do not heed my warning, your progrem will unfortunately be DELETED!

Jeff Hardy: And (*singing*) “You’ll fade away and classify yourselves as OBSOLETE!

Woken Matt: OBSOLETE!

Mike’s daughter: Well I know what we need to do now. Why thanks Woken Matt and Jeff.

Woken Matt: WONDERFUL! The pleasure was all OURS. YYYEEEEEEESSSS!

Mike Check: Well on that note, I might still not understand what “Bohemian Rhapsody” means, but I know it’s a song—

Woken Matt: Hold on. That musical piece may be not suitable for the youth, so I have transformed it to be sung by “the Pets of Mup”!

Mike Check: Who?

Mike’s daughter: I think he meant The Muppets dad?

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