A Taste of Things To Come by George S. Clinton / The Karate Rap by David and Holly Whitstock Seeger
Well fellers! We’ve reached the 9th Anniversary in Our 10th Anniversary special. And last year I was challenged by The Question Mark, who was both a friend and foe to yours truly before his recent passing a couple of months ago, God rest his soul. But anyway, who challenged ole Mike to a Karate fight all because I dedicated some love songs to a pretty filly named “Thunder Rosa” that he also had a crush on. Oh, and he also happened to be the son of the guy I trained with in Mongrovian Karate back when I worked in their market. Did I also mention that he was also angry with ole Mike because he though I had an affair with his mother? Well he is our first confrontation when The Question mark wanted to demonstrate his Karate skills:
Aron Stevens: Mike Check. The Question Mark has decided not to fight you just yet. First, he wants to demonstrate to your listeners “A Taste of Things To Come”
Aron Stevens: (*clears throat*) The following is a self defense seminar and demonstration brought to you by the Mongrovian Karate Association.
Question Mark: Kar-ar-taaaayy!
Mike’s Daughter: So, you’re going to do a Martial Arts seminar…over the Radio???
Aron Stevens: …SILENCE! I ask you at this time to show the proper respect for my Sensei: The Question Mark by facing toward Mongrovia and bow. (*Stevens and Question Mark both bow*) First of all, The Question Mark will demonstrate “The Kata”. (*Question Mark demonstrates the Kata*) Notice his fluid movement, Mike. This stems from “Northern Style Praying Mantis Waterfall Technique”. Something that he has perfected better than you, Mike. Years of Precision all capped into 20 seconds of excellence.
Mike Check: That doesn’t impress me much there feller.
Aron Stevens: SILENCE! You don’t believe in Sensei Question Mark’s superior abilities? Well now witness how he will demonstrate his Mongrovian Martial Arts technique on a couple of his students. (*Two skinny guys with black masks arrive and bow to Question Mark and Question Mark takes one of them down with a strike to the chest*) Impressed yet Mike?
Mike Check: Nope.
Aron Stevens: Well you have seen nothing yet. Today we live in violent times and although Mongrovians have no need for guns, unlike Americans. However, everyday household items are tend to be used to make an attack…OH NO! It’s a spatula!
(*2nd student pretends to attack Question Mark with an invisible spatula and Question Mark blocks his arm and takes him down with takes him down with a chop to the back of his leg.*)
Aron Stevens: So what happens when there’s more than one attacker, you may ask? (*at the students*) Gentleman, your positions. Ready!? GO! (*Both students are kicked in the mid section by Question Mark and each taken down by a strike to their throats.
Mike’s Daughter: So he can take down two skinny guys? Big deal? Even my old fragile dad could take those two out.
Aron Stevens: Shut Up! If you don’t believe in Sensei Question Mark’s power by now, well just pay attention to the finale. (*The two students pick up a piece of wood and hold it horizontally in front of Question Mark*) The is not just any 2X4, this is Mongrovian Oak. 10 ten times stronger than any Oak known to man, 20 times stronger than a human bone. Witness as Sensei Question Mark will break this oak with only one hand chop, something that I understand that you, Mike, were never able to achieve under the tutelage of The Question Mark’s grandfather many years ago.
(*Question Mark warms up as he motions that he is going to break the Oak but stalls many times*)
Mike Check: Wait A minute feller. Why don’t you let ole Mike break that weak piece of plywood for ya. (*Mike Check goes over to attempt to hand chop the piece of wood but is attacked by the two students, Mike Check block them and takes them both out with a singe punch*)
Mike’s Daughter: Dad?! You you alright?!…(*Looks around as Question Mark and Aron Stevens have appeared to have vanished*) Wait? Where did Question Mark and Aron Stevens go?
Mike Check: I’m not sure darlin’, but what ole Mike is gonna do to them will be worse than the song “The Karate Rap”, let me tell you.