Just a Song Before I Go by Crosby, Stills and Nash / My Way by Frank Sinatra
Mike Check: Farewell fellers! This is the very last segment of The Mike Check Show. But there will be no goodbyes. I’ll just do what i do best and play…
Mike’s Daughter (interrupts*): Dad, since I found out that the show was ending, I was angry, frustrated and scared about the future. But I have come to realize that when one door closes, another one opens. So I’ve decided to make some big changes in my life and I’m also quitting the stripping business.
Mike Check: Wait darlin’? You were a stripper? This is the first time I’ve heard this?
Mike’s Daughter: Dad?! I’ve talked about it openly on this show constantly?
Mike Check: Really? Well shucks…well I guess, I don’t judge you for that there darlin’. I love you no matter what you are. Ole Mike has never been perfect man himself, as you know. I haven’t always been a good father, but I’ve tried to make the most of it by making The Mike Check Show more of a partnership between us. And it’s been fun. We’ve had many crazy things happen here like Boogeymen, Martian Invasions, Zombies, and Exploding wrestling rings, etc. But I would go back and change a thing.
Mike’s Daughter: Okay, maybe I should also tell you that I have also been also scamming men into sex and taking their money?
Mike Check: I’ll pretend you were speaking metaphorically there dear, but I’m still be proud of you no matter what.
Mike’s Daughter: Well, I hope you’re proud that recent events have caused me to make some big changes in my life. I’m giving up the stripper life, not because I’m ashamed of it, I wouldn’t even change it, but because I need to do some growing up. You have always told everyone that I’m some king of “whiz-kid” and I’ve never done anything in my life with those talents. So my fiancé, Laurence, as you know used to be an inventor in the Military, well he and I have decided to start up an IT company. I want to prove that my talents will put all those chauvinist nerds, who have always discouraged “a girl” like me to enter their industry, to shame. I just now have to find what my real name is? I’ve used so many fake names in my old line of work that I’ve forgotten what it even is?
Mike Check: I don’t know either darlin’? I’m too senile and old to remember anything these days…but, Wait? Fiancé? So you and Larry are getting’ hitched?
Mike’s Daughter: Yes. (*shows her dad her engagement ring*)
Mike Check: So it looks like this is a celebration after all.
Mike’s Daughter: Yes. Oh and I need to do something here before we go. I asked some friends of The Mike Check Show to, via a video package, to send their farewell messages. (*Gets out her phone and shows her dad the video clip*)
(*on the screen*)
Rosemary: We despise you!
Thunder Rosa: Mierda!
Angry Jim: Go **** Yourself!
P.C. Popeye: Agh Guk Guk Guk! I’m glad Mike’s been cancelledz. He waz NOT very P.C.!
The Boogeymen: I’m THE Boogeymen! And I’m comin’ to Getya! Bahahhaha!
Taylor Wilde: No! And he’s banned from my podcast too!
Suzie Shuffle: Mike Check?! He’s still alive?! Well F….!
Mike’s daughter (*Turns of video*): Sorry dad, those were the outtakes. Ah? Well here’s the better one. (*puts on another video*)
“Broken” Matt Hardy: Ahhhhhhh! Yeeeesss! Meek Check, it is disappointing that I must bid you a farewell because your Show of Meek Check has become OBSOLETE! But as Mister Meek Maharn would say, I Broken Matt Hardy wish you well on your endeavors of the future! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
Mick Foley: Hi Mike. It’s your friend Mick Foley here. And I was asked to say something here for your final ever segment of The Mike Check Show. I’d like to think that we had some good times, I mean, there were some slight mishaps during my time being a guest on your show like, giving you free wrestling tickets although you couldn’t leave the house to use them. Also, inviting Yurple The Clown, who gave you a heart attack…oh, and placing a C4 exploding ring in your house was not very a good idea in hindsight. But I’d also like to think that if never foolishly broke your windows after throwing out newspapers at them during my paper route, in my youth, we would have probably never ended up being friends. So it’s all good, I hope??? Anyway, good luck Mike, and HAVE A NICE DAY! BANG BANG!
STAN: Hello Mike. This is Stan Venus, I have just hopped away from the dark realm in my handsome human form for just a moment because I heard that your show was ending. Well I wanted to take this opportunity to fess up. All the bad things that have happened to you on your show, before my transformation to being a good devil, was all to do with me. Yes, the fireworks, the possessions of people to piss you off. All me. And I am feeling bad because after seeing your “best of” recap for you 10th Anniversary last month, there was one particular man that I caused you to have a massive hatred of. That man is former Beatles drummer; Ringo Starr. Yes, I possessed him all along because…I was just jealous of you, Mike. You got all the chicks and I’m just down in hell doing a boring job for many millennia all because I had a big argument with my dear old dad. It wasn’t until I developed my new Stan Venus persona that I became happy. But now I’m back I hell and I’ve realized that I’ll never be you, I’ll just be the best devil I can be. Oh, before I forget, I have Ringo with me to wish you luck. (*to Ringo, who now appears on camera*) Would you like to say something to Mike Check?
Ringo Starr: Who’s Mike Check? And how did you get in my house? Security!
STAN: Ah, I have got to run, Mike! Oh, and one thing real quick. I had nothing to do with Sheriff Dickwell, he want to kill you because you were a dead beat dad. So see ya soon in hell! (*looks back and security guards are chasing STAN*) Cheers! (*video ends*)
Mike Check: Fascinating. Well shucks. Thanks for that dear, that’s a lot to take in. Well without any further ado. Here’s “Just a Song Before I Go” by Crosby, Stills and Nash here on THE MACKER!
Okay. Okay fellers. Ole Mike is not yet done without playing an encore. So here’s “My Way by” Frank Sinatra, for the final time, here on THE MACKER!