Honeymoon On A Rocketship by Hank Snow

Mike Check: Weelll fellers on Earth and also those who are still listening there on the planet Mars…apparently. I hope you all enjoyed “Love On The Ropes” Month? And to take us “home”, not literally, but if you were to do that you’d probably be taking a Rocketship? And for those happening to be getting hitched today, maybe you’re having your “Honeymoon On A Rocketship”? …Well anyway, here’s Hank Snow, on…THE MACKER!

Mike’s daughter: Dad! My signal is jammed again?

(*A Martian voice is heard over the speakers*): Greetings Mike Check. This is Kimar and I wish to comment that we on the planet Mars have found this “love music” as you say “Fascinating”. As leader of Mars, I have made a decision to inv–(*signal is broken*)

Mike’s daughter: Hello? Hello? You decided to…what? (*to Mike*) dammit. Not again. What was he about to say before we were cut off? It sounded like “inv—

Mike Check: Invade! Oh no, they’re going to invade the Earth there darlin?

Mike’s daughter: Don’t jump to conclusions dad? Perhaps he was going to say “invite”? But invite to what? Ah?…Dammit, where’s Doc Brown when you need him?

I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness

Mike’s Daughter: Ah, I can understand yesterday’s song but why did we play this one dad?

Mike Check: Ah? Well my darlin’, the feller from “The Darkness” was in some spaceship in the music video clip…oh I don’t know, ole Mike’s under some stress and this was all I could come up with there today?…Not that my nervousness has anything to do with you Martian fellers listening, because you fellers out there are all peaceful like and there’s nothing for ole Mike to be nervous about because I, like you “Believe In A Thing Called Love”. (*covers microphone*) I hope they didn’t notice anything strange there darlin’?

Mike’s Daughter: Yeah, whatever dad.

When The Rain Begins to Fall by Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora

Mike Check: And that was “When The Rain Begins to Fall” by Pia Zadora and–

Mike’s Daughter: Dad? Why did we play this? This doesn’t feature any reference to space or planets as we seem to be playing the past week?

Mike Check: Well, there was a film made in 1964 that co-starred “a then young” filly called Pia Zadora, and it was about Santa Claus called “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” where ole St. Nick was kidnapped by Martians…but…Santa and the Martians became friends and they all lived happily ever after and he didn’t actually conquer them as the title would suggest. Because you Martians are peaceful and intelligent fellers who wouldn’t want to kidnap ole Mike or invade the Earth or anything like that? (*covers microphone*) I hope that the Martians would get any bad ideas there darlin’?

Mike’s Daughter: *sigh*

Space Age Love Song by A Flock Of Seagulls

Mike Check: Weell this next song is supposed to be a “Space Age Love Song”, so I bet you fellers listening over on Mars will love this song by “A Flock Of Seagulls”…oh and just note that “Flock Of Seagulls” is the name of the band, this is not sung by actual seagulls there or even what’s you might think is on top of the singer Mike Score’s head for that matter. Believe it or not, that’s just his hair.

Mike’s Daughter: (*sigh*) Real educational dad.

You’re The One Who’s Out Of This World by ALF

Mike Check: Weeell fellers. If you fellers on Mars are still listening, here’s one of my favorite TV Martians called ALF with “You’re The One Who’s Out Of This World”—

Mike’s daughter: Dad! Wasn’t ALF from the planet ‘Melmac’?

Mike Check: What’s the difference…uh…ha ha. Yes you’re right, but what I meant there was…aren’t we all equal in this Universe? (*covers microphone*) Do you think they noticed my mistake there darlin’?

Mike’s daughter: *sigh*.

Man From Mars by Butch Paulson

You fellers listening over on Mars will surely have a ball after listening to this one by Butch Paulson on Love On The Ropes Month. I’m not sure how many legs or arms the Martian fillies have over there, but just like you “Men from Mars”, ole Mike sure loves the idea of “green pu—

Mike’s daughter: Dad!

Mike Check: I was going say “green pudding”, I’m sure that’s a delicacy over there? (*covers microphone*) What did you think I was gonna say there darlin’?

EEP OPP ORK AHAH by Violent Femmes

Mike’s Daughter: Dad! There’s something wrong with my computer? (*bangs on the screen*)

Mike Check: What is it there darlin’?

Mike’s Daughter: I don’t know? Something’s jamming my signal?

(*An unknown voice is suddenly heard through the speakers*)

“Unknown Voice”: Greetings Mike Check. This is Kimar, leader of the Planet Mars, and I wish to make requests from you?

Mike Check: Requests??? (*whispers to his daughter*) Oh no. Perhaps they’re requesting to invade the Earth?

Mike’s Daughter: (*whispers*) I don’t think so? Wait? Why are we whispering? Can they hear us?

Kimar: Is anybody there? Mike Check. I have broadcast my voice over to your Earth base as my people of the planet Mars request to hear what you Earthlings call more music on the topic known as “Love”.

Mike Check: Ah? Okay? But why do you want to request our music there space feller?

Kimar: Ever since 17 of your Earth months ago when we on the planet Mars had destroyed…(*break in transmission*)

Mike’s Daughter: Are you there? Are you there? (*to Mike*) No, I think he’s gone dad? So, should we play…eh…Love songs for the Martians? I mean, should we even trust them, I can’t seem to forget the time back last October when Doc Brown warned us about them invading the Earth sometime this year?

Mike Check: Perhaps we should? Maybe they’ll be nice to us if we play some love songs for them? But I didn’t like the part when he mentioned the word “destroy” before the signal broke?

Mike’s Daughter: Neither do I but…well, I guess we should stick to our instincts, since Doc told us not to do anything differently, so–?

Mike Check: So….Weell…on the planet earth we may say “I love you” but you fellers who might be listening to us over on the planet Mars might be saying “EEP OPP ORK AHAH”, on…THE MACKER!

Mike’s Daughter: Are you sure that’s what they say? Isn’t that just a song from “The Jetsons”?

Mike Check: Hush darlin’. They’re listening.