Monthly Archives: January 2020
Mike’s Daughter: Isn’t there anyone out there that can save us from Baron Corin’s boring torture?
Rosemary (*appears at Mike’s house*): Don’t not fear, Mike Check and Daughter. WE have a solution to your problem.
Mike’s daughter: What is it?
Rosemary *pulls out a jar*. The contents of this Jar was once introduced to US by The Bunny on a day I felt most debilitated. It contains the ingredients to energize even the most tired human in the Earth realm. Our theory is that is also has the ability to “Destroy All Monsters”.
Mike’s daughter: Ah? Isn’t that just a jar of coffee?
Rosemary: No! It is a secret “Energy Potion”.
Mike’s daughter: It smells like coffee to me?
Rosemary: ENERGY POTION!
Mike’s daughter: Ok, ok.
Rosemary: So what WE must do to defeat The Baron is to boil some water and stir the Engery Potion’s contents into a ceramic drinking apparatus.
Mike’s daughter: Yes, I know how to make coff…I mean…so then what? Do we drink it to keep awake? Oh, do we give it to Corbin to drink and he turns entertaining or something?
Rosemary: Neither. Just leave it to US. *Rosemary takes a sip of Energy Potion and goes up to Corbin*)
Corbin: So what do you want from the King, scary girl? Oh, I get it, it’s a known facts that even ugly chicks dig King Corbin’s big, long scepter. Look, no thank you. I…(*Corbin’s speech is interrupted by Rosemary spiting Energy Potion into Corbin’s eye’s like the “dreaded green mist”.*)…Aghghhghgh! My eyes! Is this Coffee?! Caffeine is my Kryptonite! I’m melting, melting, melt…(*Corbin melts into the ground and disappears*)
Mike Check: Weeelll…That was a “Damn Fine Cup Of Coffee”, let me tell you.
Rosemary: ENERGY POTION!
Mike Check: Ok. Ok. Whatever you say, Rosiemarie?
Mike’s Daughter: Baron Corbin, what are you still doing here anyway?
Baron Corbin: Look, I’m not leaving until I find a way to punish you two for calling me boring and playing these songs about me being boring. It’s not true. Don’t you understand that I get the most heat out of all the Superstars in the WWE?
Mike’s daughter: Heat?! I wouldn’t even call the type of heat you get even “luke warm”. Raging_Demons and R.V.M Kai are right about you…you’re are a human “Jiggly Puff”?
Baron Corbin: What the hell is a Juggly Puff?
Mike’s daughter: Well basically it’s a Pokemon that has the ability to sing people to sleep. Which is exactly what your Grade School Book report style promos do to the whole wrestling fan-base. Oh, and the Jiggly Puff gets mad and scribbles on people’s faces after they fall asleep, which is also a great metaphor for how you react on social media when fans call you out for how boring you are.
Baron Corbin: I just don’t understand why idiot marks like you say such untruth lies about me? Don’t you hear the reaction I get each and every week?
Mike’s daughter: Honestly, the only reaction I hear are from only both the Wrestlecrap Radio crickets:
Baron Corbin: All lies. You’re just in love with me. You just love having me around?
Mike’s daughter: Aghghhghgh! No! Don’t you realize that your boring presence here has been “punishment” enough?!
Baron Corbin: Not for me.
Mike’s daughter: Dammit! F***! Sorry about that dad, but what are we going to do? I can’t take much more of this!
Mike cHECK: The only darn thing I can do there darlin’ is play “Another Boring ‘B’ Side” and hopefully he’ll get offended and go away?
Mike’s daughter: Whatever?! It hasn’t worked yet! Hopefully something will?