Monthly Archives: May 2016

Dear Prudence by Siouxsie And The Banshees

Pressure by Billy Joel

Mike Check’s Daughter: ARGH!!!

Mike Check: What’s up darlin’?

Mike Check’s Daughter: Ever since Mick Foley’s “This Is Your Life” show there has been all these awful things that happened. The death of my brother Sheriff Dickwell by a C-4 Ring Explosion, your heart attack…dad, are you OK by the way?

Mike Check: For the hundredth time I’m fine!

Mike Check’s Daughter: God Dad don’t get cranky on me! Then there’s that whomever it was that tried to shoot you. Oh and then there are those nerds Raging_Demons and R.V.M Kai calling us basically threatening us to behave or else. Which I don’t respond too well Dad. I feel all this–this–

Mike Check: Pressure?

Mike Check’s Daughter: There you go, Pressure!

Mike Check: Let me give you some advice darlin’ Back when I was working in the Seattle Market I worked for a radio station called KACL where I did a radio talk show and I gave out helpful advice. I was Frasier Mahoney and I had a partner named David Crane and together our talk show was called “The Frasier Crane Show”. Now darlin’, if I still had my show I would tell you to go somewhere and relax and get all that stress out. In fact I got an idea. Here’s a little personal request from me to you, my whiz-kid of a daughter. It’s “Pressure” by Billy Joel here on…THE MACKER!

Mike Check’s Daughter: Thanks Dad! I think I’ll go to work and find a guy and hoping I can release the “pressure” that he has. Hopefully its all over my face, neck, and chest.

Mike Check: You were always a messy eater darlin’

I Got The Blues by T-Bone Walker

We Are The World by U.S.A. For Africa

Ska Robot Army by The Aquabats

Mike’s Daughter: Dad are you alright?! That crazy woman could have shot you yesterday.

Mike Check: I’m fine darlin’. Thank god that metal feller from last year was there or else I would had been a goner!

Mike’s Daughter: Yeah but I don’t know what’s weirder, the fact that Robocop was there to rescue you yet he got lost to Wrestlemania last year which seemed pretty odd to me, or that he seems to have been re-programmed with the late C.S. Irwin’s traits…now that cannot possibly be considered “canon”, can it?

Mike Check: No my precious petunia, he had a gun not a canon. Next you’re gonna say that he brought along a “Ska Robot Army” with him here to save ole Mike? Well speaking of that, that sounds like a great song to play today here on…THE MACKER!

Mike’s Daughter: *sigh*

Pistol Packin’ Mama by Al Dexter and His Troopers

*Knock on the door*

Mike Check (*opens door*): Why hello there you pretty filly…what can ole Mike do for you?

“Unknown Woman”: I finally tracked you down. So I just wanted to…(*pulls out a pistol*)

Mike Check: Hey! Why are you pointing that pistol at me there!?

“Unknown Woman”: What? You don’t remember me? You never paid me a dime in alimony, and now you kill my son Harry Dickwell you bastard!

Mike Check: Look there. Any deaths that have occurred around here have all been freak accidents, let me tell you. and I’m very…very…very…very…sorr–

“Unknown Woman”/Dickwell’s Mother: Shut Up! Now I’m gonna shoot you myself, just like I did to that that blonde that you cheated on me with in the 70’s!

Mike Check: Look there you crazy filly. Ole Mike has had to constantly change his name to get away from you. And my memory might not be what it used to be, but I seem to remember we were just a one night fling, so I did not in fact ch–

Dickwell’s Mother: Aghh! Why didn’t you love me Mike?! I would’ve loved you to death, (*about to pull trigger*) which is wh–

RoboCop (*Shows up behind her and interrupts*): DROP THE GUN. DEAD OR ALIVE YOUR COMING WITH ME.

Dickwell’s Mother (*turns around and takes Mike Check hostage*): Damn Robocop! Hey, my son would have taken you out if it wasn’t for this fool Mike Check taking him out first. I despise you stupid robots taking our police jobs all because you go strictly by the rules! Now I’m gonna shoot you!

RoboCop: YOUR MOVE CR-CR-CR-EEP (*Robocop goes a little hay-wire*).

Dickwell’s Mother: (*laughs maniacally*) Yes, it is my move because you know full well that you can’t just shoot me while I’m holding a hostage. You’re a robot. You’re programmed to go by the rules.

RoboCop: (*manages to retain his composure*) MA’AM, (*takes off helmet and puts on a pair of sunglasses*) SOMETIMES THE RULES…CHANGE.

(*Robocop shoots her in the knee-caps, then shoots the gun out of her hand and then handcuffs her*)


Mike Check (*interrupts*): Sorry to interrupt but that was some nice shootin’. What’s your name there feller?

RoboCop: IRWIN…Robo C.S Irwin

Hoop-Dee-Do by Doris Day

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