Mike’s Daughter: I can’t believe it. My Dad slept with Mrs. Claus! My Dad slept…with–
Santa Claus: I know, I know. Mrs. Claus and I had years of marriage counseling to get us back to a normal relationship. You know Mike its a good thing that I found you because I wanted to talk to you about a certain issue. About a little radio station called…WRUD!
Mike Check: Uh…
Mike’s Daughter: Uh…What Dad?
Santa Claus: Oh he didn’t tell you that his radio DJ name was Santa Claus?!?
Mike’s Daughter (facepalm): Oh Dear God!
Santa Claus: Now that I have finally found you Mike let me share a little secret with you. The Elves set up one of the top legal companies in the world; also the elves are pretty good when it comes to logistics and delivery. Who do you think set up the delivery system for Amazon Prime? OH! Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho–I’m going to sue you from here to eternity! Oh Ho-Ho-Ho-ho!
Mike’s Daughter: Uh Santa, before you sue my Dad into oblivion how about you “step into my office” please?
Santa Claus: Look your not going talk me out of it!
Mike’s Daughter: Just give me 5 minutes OK?
Santa Claus: Well all right.
*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus go into her room*
*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus come out of her room*
Mike’s Daughter: Now remember. Your supposed to leave my Dad alone.
Santa Claus: In exchange for what you did in there I can come in and “Talk to you” again anytime I want. OH HO-Ho-Ho! You really are a ho! The things you did in there! Especially when you poured the onion juice all over my–
Mike’s Daughter: Hush! My Dad will hear you.. Hey Dad! Santa decided that after our “little talk” he won’t be bothering you again.
Santa Claus: Yeah Mike. I’m sorry. *reaches in his bag and pulls out a gift and gives it to Mike Check* Here. I was going to give it to one of those Wrestle–whatever guys but since he’s getting coal I’ll give it to you. OH-Ho-Ho-Ho!
Mike Check: Thanks Santa. Turns out yer a pretty decent feller. *opens gift* Its the Shallow Gravy Christmas Fan Album! I’ll play this right now!
Santa Claus: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
*Noise coming from the roof*
Mike’s Daughter (yawning): What the heck is that noise coming from the roof?
Mike Check: Dunno Darlin’. Are The Martians coming back for us?
*The front door mysteriously becomes open as Santa Claus tries to sneak in through the front door*
Mike’s Daughter: AH! Dad there’s some bum dressed in a Santa outfit is trying to break in!
Santa Claus (turning around confused): What?!? *Glares at Mike Check* Oh! *sneering angrily* Its you.
Mike Check: Santa.
Mike’s Daughter: What’s going on here?
Mike Check: Darlin’, that’s the real Santa Claus.
Mike’s Daughter: Come on! Santa isn’t real!
Santa Claus: That’s what they say and I still keep the lie up to bring presents all to the good little boys and girls! Ho-Ho-Ho- Why aren’t you in jail?
Mike Check: I-
Mike’s Daughter: Long story short the guys over at wrestlecrapradio.com got my dad out of jail and he’s serving the rest of the time under house arrest.
Santa Claus: Well I’m going to have to give them all coal for this year! Ho-Ho-Ho! No seriously why are you here? This was supposed to be for little Jenny?
Mike’s Daughter: We have been living here since 2011 Santa. By the way why are you acting like a jerk?
Mike Check: Remember that time Darlin’ that I worked at the North Pole for NPOL as Frosty Largerod?
Mike’s Daughter: Vaguely.
Mike Check: Well…Santa here…
Santa Claus: I basically rescued the idiot here from death, the elves nursed him back to health, and he repays me by sleeping with Mrs. Claus!
Mike’s Daughter: NO! NO! I can’t– NO!
Santa Claus: You think you were in shock, I found out the hard way when I heard Mrs. Claus yell out “LET’S MAKE A BABY KING! LET’S MAKE A BABY KING! HARDER! HARDER!”
Mike’s Daughter: Dad?
Mike Check: Yes Darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: I’ve been wondering something. Why weren’t you invited at All In since Raging_Demons put up so much hype about you going?
Mike Check: Probably because I would draw a lot of attention away from the other wrestlers Darlin’. That’s why.
Mike Check: Hold on there Darlin’. *picks up phone* KMCR Radio?
Raging_Demons: Boy, your full of yourself there!
Mike’s Daughter: What do you want dingus?
Raging_Demons: I was randomly listening to the show for quality purposes because I don’t know what would your father would say to get us in trouble here at wrestlecrapradio.com and your WAY further than the truth. First of all Deal and Blade didn’t need you at all Mike. Also if they did need you. Well…
Mike Check: Well what?
Raging_Demons: Cody didn’t want you there.
Mike Check: Who?
Mike’s Daughter: He means Cody Rhodes. What do you mean he didn’t want my Dad there?
Mike Check: Yeah especially since, is his father Dusty Rhodes?
Mike’s Daughter: Yes Dad.
Mike Check: Especially since he did horrible work. His plumbing repair was horrible, I can never get good cuts of meat–
Mike’s Daughter: Those were old horrible WWE comedy scenes.
Mike Check: No there were real. In fact–
Raging_Demons: ANYWAYS! Cody knows a lot about you Mike. Cody mentioned two reasons. One, and he brought up this by name, was how your not family friendly–
Mike Check: I love the families–
Raging_Demons: AHEM! Especially Mike when it comes to kids and he did mention Jake Lloyd Jr.
Raging_Demons: And the other reason is that…How can I say this nicely? Mike Check is a Super Freak!
Mike’s Daughter: I think I can understand that one
Mike Check: I do love the fillies!
Mike’s Daughter: New? Dad, That video is like 8 years old?!
Mike Check: Oh? Well, it seems that ole Mike really needs to “sit down” here on…THE MACKER!
Mike’s Daughter: DAD! We have dead air on! What are we gonna do?
Mike Check: Darlin’. There’s a term in the radio business that you should know about when we are in situations like this.
Mike’s Daughter: What’s it called?
Mike Check: We are SO HOARKED!
Mike’s Daughter: AH! I don’t want you to go back to jail Dad!
Mike’s Daughter: WHAT THE–?!
Mike Check (slowly picks up phone): Uh…KMCR radio?
Mike Check: Looks like we have ourselves a–
Raging_Demons: What the hell are you two doing down there?!?
Mike Check: Miracle?
Mike’s Daughter: Let me guess. Your the one that got the song?
Raging_Demons: When I heard yesterday’s song I figure you idiots screwed something up so I got the wrestlecrapradio.comm IT tech crew to put it up.
Mike’s Daughter: So…Are we in trouble?
Raging_Demons: You tell me with the song your playing later today. *Click*
Mike’s Daughter: I hope Raging_Demons doesn’t mind, but here’s a bonus song from a band that once performed on The Warped Tour. And since we were previously playing the soundtrack of a show that was based on a terrible wrestling promotion earlier in the month. Here’s a song that was on the soundtrack of a terrible wrestling movie called “Ready To Rumble”…and no, we’re not playing the whole soundtrack to this movie, BTW. So, here’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Bif Naked—
Mike Check: Is this a cover of that Twisted Sister song?
Mike’s daughter: Yes Dad.
Mike Check: Weelll. I like Twisted Sister’s version but today I think that I want to see Bif Naked?
Mike’s daughter: Okay, well here’s—
Mike Check: And by wanting “Bif Naked”, I wasn’t talking about her song, if you know what I mean?
Mike’s daughter: Dad! You are such a creep!
Mike Check: So do we have another song from the TV progrem GLOW darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: Dad, where you asleep yesterday? Raging_Demons phoned to inform us that the “Warped Tour” is doing its last ever tour after 23 years and—
Mike Check: I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there darlin’? What’s this ‘Warp Speed Tour’?
Mike’s Daughter: Dad, I said “Warped Tour” and it was an annual rock festival—
Mike Check: You mean like Woodstock? Oh no, they can’t stop this like they did Woodstock?!
Mike’s Daughter: Uh, okay? So now we’re playing songs from the bands that played at Warped Tour for the rest of the month to celebrate it.
Mike Check: Weeell, I was looking forward to playing more rap music from those pretty wrestling fillies?
Mike’s Daughter: No, anything but those damn GLOW raps…but anyway, here’s “Fire Down Below”.
Mike Check: Fire?! Where?!
Mike’s Daughter *sigh*: No. It’s an Alkaline Trio song!
Mike Check: Oh. You almost scared ole Mike for a minute there darlin’?