Well fellers! There was an unfortunate time during the Mike Check Show when our house was getting ransacked by Nazis. But fortunately for me and my daughter, we got a little help “crushing” them:
Mike’s Daughter: Oh my god this is so fun! I should had gone into radio! Here come some more crap for you Raging_Demons!
*A chorus can be heard outside singing the lyrics to “I Did A Bad Thing”*
Mike’s Daughter: Just what the hell is going out there?
*Rapid knocking on the door*
Mike’s Daughter: OK! OK!
*Mike Check’s Daughter opens the door to see a bunch of people on the front lawn with tiki torches and dressed business casual*
Mike’s Daughter: WHAT THE FU–?!?
???: Aw. You were der one that are playing rhe music of our dere goddess?
*The chorus on the lawn now sing “..Ready For It?”*
Mike’s Daughter: And who, or what exactly, is all this!?!?
Heir Weiner: Allow me to introduce ourselves here. I am Heir Veiner–
Mike’s Daughter: Hah! You called yourself WEINER!
Heir Weiner: SILENCE! As I was saying my name is Heir Veiner and we are “The White Swifties”. Ve’re a bunch of concerned gentlemen vho are concerned nowadays vith the current elewent of what’s going on today vith CERTAIN people coming into–
Mike’s Daughter: So you’re a bunch of Nazi racists that’s here on my lawn?!
Heir Weiner: SILENCE! Ve’re here because you vere playing the music of our true Aryan Goddess Taylor Swift!
Mike’s Daughter: Wait a minute! Nazi racists on my lawn worship Taylor Swift?
Heir Weiner: And ve would like it, no we DEMAND IT, that you play more about our Aryan Goddess RIGHT NOW!
Mike’s Daughter: Listen here! My dad has a little hobby of making his so-called, whatever it is, into a radio station. He has never heard of Taylor Swift at all! My dad is somewhat unconscious as we speak and there’s this douchebag of a boss that likes to request songs for himself around this time and. *goes back in the home, ejects the “Reputation” CD, puts it back in the case to show to Heir Weiner* I’m playing this god awful CD to ruin it for him!
*The White Swifties loudly gasp*
Heir Weiner: HOW DARE YOU! How dare that an Aryan naturally endowed woman like yourself–
Mike’s Daughter: They’re Natural! Wait! You said they were real. Thank you~!
Heir Weiner: Can consider The Goddess our nation’s latest album “avful”?!? *turns to the crowd* MEN! We shall take over this radio station so we can play all the Taylor Swift music ve vant!
Mike’s Daughter: NO! YOU CAN’T!
Heir Weiner: Vi Not…? *interrupted as he is speared outta nowhere by, 2018 WWE Hall Of Famer, Bill Goldberg*
Goldberg *gets up*: Why not?! Because…YOU’RE NEXT!
(Theme: Invasion by Christian Poulet and Jean-Yves Rigo)
Goldberg *picks Heir Weiner up for The Jackhammer*: Now, any more of you Nazi punks have anything to say?!
*The rest of the White Swifties run away*
Mike’s Daughter: Thank you Gold…*Goldberg grabs the Taylor Swift CD* Hey?! What are you doing?!
Goldberg: CRUSH ‘EM! *crushes CD with his foot and hands her over a Megadeth CD* And by “Crush ‘Em”, I mean that Raging_Demons sent me here for you to play this…NEXT!
Mike’s Daughter: But…*Goldberg starts to look cranky* Okay, Okay I’ll play it! *mumbles to herself* Damn that Raging_Demons.
Well fellers! Did I ever tell you about the time when our 6th Anniversary was hijacked after Sam, who was a very evil demon at the time before his recent change in attitude, bought The Mike Check Show from right under our nose and then decided to let us have it back in a song battle? Well this was the winning song that my daughter, who I’m sure I’ve told you was one hell (no pun intended) of a whiz-kid, picked for us to beat Sam. Unfortunately, although we won the battle, this wouldn’t be the last time that we would feel his wrath:
STAN: So not even me or God knows what your name is, Mike’s Daughter, but what I do know is that this wildcard song of yours will fail just like the other 13 you and your dear ole dad have picked. Yes, some were good, others were weak, but it’s inevitable that you are going to be “looooosers”. So stop stalling and just give me your souls now already. There’s no song known to man that can troll me!
Mike’s Daughter: You’re gonna love…or should I say hate this one STAN. Each year in May one of the guys from…yes, I have to even give him credit…wrestlecrapradio.com’s R.V.M Kai, sends us some songs from the Eurovision Song Contest. Not that I want to give out spoilers of what we are going to play or anything but there was a Heavy Metal band, of all things, from Finland that entered in 2006 and shocked everyone by winning with a song called “Hard Rock Hallelujah”…which we will hopefully play next month after we WIN this son…
STAN: Just get to the point! Now you’re rambling like your dad.
Mike’s Daughter: Sorry. My point is ‘Lordi’…
STAN: Stop! Lordi? Are you kidding me? But Scandinavian Heavy Metal bands all worship me! Haven’t you heard the pure evilness of the likes of “Mayhem”, a Black Metal band who like to burn down churches in their spare time? Oh Dammit, that’s who I could have played yesterday?!
Mike’s Daughter: Well it’s too late for that because today’s pick is appropriately titled; “Devil Is A Loser”.
Mike Check: Now that’s sounds like a winner right there here on…”6 Years Of Whackin’!”
STAN: Aggghhhh! They’re right! I am a loser, boo hoo hoo! Okay, you win! That song was no “Highway to Hell” but it did “troll” me good! Who would of thought that a Scandinavian Heavy Metal band who wear demonic costumes could troll me with a song like that?! Okay so your souls, along with “The Mike Check Show”, is yours…but not before I burn down your house!
Mike Check: NOOOOOOOOO!
STAN: Just kidding. Ha Ha, you should have seen your face. But in the words of Stewart Patrick: “I’m leaving now”…
Mike’s Daughter: Hey! Not so fast. You almost forgot about your promise to grant us one wish, remember?
STAN: Oh, very well. What is it?
Mike Daughter: Well hmmm, I don’t know? We still have some financial problems and then there’s the matter of my dad still being under house arrest, so…
Mike Check: Could you get us a copy of that Turtle Ninja Christmas CD that my daughter smashed with a hammer back in December? I think that was the only CD of it’s kind in existence and some feller call Premier Blake needs another copy.
Mike’s Daughter: No! Actually, we don’t need to worry about that anym…
STAN (*quickly interrupts*): Too Late. (*magically makes CD appear in Mike’s hands*) See ya later…oh and worship the devil. Bwhahahaha! (*disappears in a ball of flames*)
Mike’s Daughter: DAD!!! We could have been rich if you just shut…
(*Mike’s Daughter is distracted as their front door is kicked open by current TNA wrestler; Alberto El Patron.*)
Alberto El Patron (*grabs the CD from Mike’s hands*): I kill you Ninja Turtle for touching my wife, perro! (*throws the CD on the ground and shouts “Sí” each time he crushes it with his foot.)
Paige (*enters the house and nervously tries to pull Alberto away*) Alberto, stop it. It’s just a CD. You’re drunk again.
Alberto El Patron (*calms down*): Sí honey, I must have been possess by el Diabolo or sometheeng? Eh…sorry about that amigos. (*he and Paige walk out*)
Mike Check (*dumbfounded*): Fascinating?
Mike’s Daughter: But what the f…?! (*shouts at the ground and shakes her fist*) Stan! You just couldn’t resist one last prank could you! (*sigh*)…Well whatever. At least everything’s finally back to normal.
Another memorable moment on Mike Check’s: “This Is Your Life”, was the time Rick Foley invited a feller I worked with all the way on the orient in the Yokohama, Japan market. And you could say there fellers that this incident ended with “a bang”:
Foley (on cellphone): Uh-huh. Its like the weirdest thing. Here he is out of nowhere trying to talk to Mike Check–the guy that I’m doing this show for. Yeah so anyways here he is trying to “apologize” for whatever then Mike Check just kicks him in the balls, THEN his kid shows up. I try to break things up with the kid but the brat just bit me! Then he tears up the place. If it wasn’t fur Hughie then I don’t know what would happen. I know-I know taking the kids on tour isn’t a bright idea but since Noelle is coming soon for the show I thought a little family get together would be fun. Uh-huh. Okay, love you too. Bye. *hangs up cellphone*
Mike Check: Who was that you were you talking to Rick?
Foley: That was my wife on the phone. After that whole mess from yesterday she notified me that Jake Lloyd Sr. broke out of a psychiatric facility somewhere in South Carolina. He was in there because starring in “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace” literally made him mentally insane! Just recently he broke out of that mental institution he was in, kidnapped his son out of a legal institution of his own getting ready to be adopted since he’s mentally unfit to take care of his son, and came here! And I thought some of the stuff that I did back in the day didn’t make any sense! I called the cops so they can get Father & Son out of here but the weirdest thing is after I told them where I was they laughed at me & gave me some phone numbers for a free clinic in the area which I though was rather odd?
Mike Check: Yeah the cops are pretty weird here.
Foley: Mike I have to say this. From one father to another and since we’ve heard and unfortunately seen your *cough* “exploits” since my daughter is coming here. If you do anything inappropriate to her; I won’t be held responsible for my actions.
Mike Check: I’m not sure I that understand that particular reference there Rick?
Foley: All right moving on now. Today’s guest has come all the way from Japan, a place dear to my heart for those infamous exploding barbwire matches I had with Terry Funk. We have also set up a ring surrounded by C-4 explosives right here in the studio for no apparent reason.
Mike Check: That looks a tad dangerous there Rick?
Foley: Ha Ha Ha, never-mind that Mike. Do you recognize this voice?
???: Check-san! You dishonor me with shame! Now I revenge get!
Mike Check: I’m not sure I…?
Foley: It’s one of your former radio co-hosts; Chin Shima!
Mike Check: That’s right. I remember this feller when we used to work the Yokohama, Japan market. I went under the name “Johnny Hero” and we were the “The Hero Shima Show”.
Chin Shima: You dishonor with shame Check-san for call me Chin Shima”! Real name Jimichiro Rosshu, one of 40 assistant manager of Fukya Selfu Robotics, also former All-Japan Puroresu number 1 announcer and cousin to redneck Angry Jim-san; who English commentary provide for inferior promotion New Japan! And Check-san, you bring dishonor for always dirty boot wearing in house! Then bring anger and shame to Jimichiro after have us fire at radio station for make disrespect!
Mike Check: I’m not sure what particular reference you’re making there feller? But are you talking about the time we had those wrestling tag-team fillies from All-Japan called “The Jumping Bomb Angels” on the show? I’m not quite sure what I said that was offensive about: “How about you fine bombs make like WW2 and jump on Hero n’ Shima”. It got us fired and ole Mike deported and blacklisted…but I’m glad that I can laugh about it now.
Chin Shima a.k.a. Jimichiro Rosshu: Aghhh! Laugh about!? You dishonor all Japan with bombing war comment of disrespect! It your fault Check-san that wife filled with shame and stop sex date since many year with Jimichiro! I now revenge have and choppy choppy Mike-san pee-pee with Katana!
Ringo: (*walks in*) Mick, was I supposed to be the guest again today?…
Jimichiro Rosshu: (*looks over to Ringo and calms down*) Ringo Starr-san from Beatle that is you?
Ringo: Yes chap, would you be a fan?
Jimichiro Rosshu: (*now happy*) Hai. Use to sing Beatle song when wife have sex date regular until she cheat with drummer bakka…(*stares more closely at Ringo and becomes angry again*) That you leave wet drumstick at Jimichiro house front Genkan! You also bring disgrace Jimichiro with more dishonor!
Foley: Hold on guys, there’s C-4 around the place, so don’t…
Jimichiro Rosshu: (*not paying attention to Foley*) Aghhh! Now choppy choppy YOUR pee-pee! (*Jimichiro runs with his Katana towards Ringo but accidentally steps on a hidden C-4 bomb and explodes*)
Foley: Ah, Medic! …Well here’s a song by an American band who were also a big hit in Japan, no pun intended, it’s “Cherry Bomb” by The Runaways here on MIKE CHECK: THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
Did I ever tell you fellers about the time during our 3rd year of Whackin’ when I went off to jolly old England to revive an award and left my daughter, who’s on heck of a whiz-kid, in charge with special guests hosts? Well, apparently it didn’t start off so well, let me tell you:
[*lighting strike*] Muahahaha! Muahahaha! Were you all expecting someone else? It’s the Ratings Reaper and I just reaped my latest victim; Cheatum The One-Eyed Midget. I’m also here to kill “The Mike Check Show” due to it’s poor ratings in this market. Last year it was just your URL, but this year I’m shutting this place down for good, just like I did with wrestlecrapradio.com a few days ago. So by this evening, there will be NO further 3rd Anniversary celebrations and NO guests hosts this month as promised. Better yet; no more long boring diatribes about working in different markets and hearing music that’s so old that it even pre-dates me! But while I’m here, I might as well play one last song; “It’s Killed By Death by Motörhead”. Bye Bye “Mike Check Show” Muahahaha! Muahahaha!
Hello this is Mike’s daughter. I knew this was a bad idea! My dad leaves this place in the hands of “guest hosts” for one day and look what happens! But it was a good thing that my dad happened to buy a “Seance-Trolla” at a ‘Yard Sale’ in Indianapolis in July 2012. I was able to use it to resurrect this web-site (Editors Note: I already used it to help the guys at that wrestlecrapradio.com site to resurrect theirs, which worked but somehow it’s now relocated at wrestlecrapradio.blogspot.com instead), but unfortunately, I also accidentally summoned a giant robot who called itself “Megatrolla”. That damn thing would have killed me if it weren’t for a “robotic” Shane McMahon who happened to come by and save my life! And this was the song that played while Shane-O-Trolla destroyed Megatrolla:
Mike’s Daughter: I can’t believe it. My Dad slept with Mrs. Claus! My Dad slept…with–
Santa Claus: I know, I know. Mrs. Claus and I had years of marriage counseling to get us back to a normal relationship. You know Mike its a good thing that I found you because I wanted to talk to you about a certain issue. About a little radio station called…WRUD!
Mike Check: Uh…
Mike’s Daughter: Uh…What Dad?
Santa Claus: Oh he didn’t tell you that his radio DJ name was Santa Claus?!?
Mike’s Daughter (facepalm): Oh Dear God!
Santa Claus: Now that I have finally found you Mike let me share a little secret with you. The Elves set up one of the top legal companies in the world; also the elves are pretty good when it comes to logistics and delivery. Who do you think set up the delivery system for Amazon Prime? OH! Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho–I’m going to sue you from here to eternity! Oh Ho-Ho-Ho-ho!
Mike’s Daughter: Uh Santa, before you sue my Dad into oblivion how about you “step into my office” please?
Santa Claus: Look your not going talk me out of it!
Mike’s Daughter: Just give me 5 minutes OK?
Santa Claus: Well all right.
*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus go into her room*
*Mike’s Daughter and Santa Claus come out of her room*
Mike’s Daughter: Now remember. Your supposed to leave my Dad alone.
Santa Claus: In exchange for what you did in there I can come in and “Talk to you” again anytime I want. OH HO-Ho-Ho! You really are a ho! The things you did in there! Especially when you poured the onion juice all over my–
Mike’s Daughter: Hush! My Dad will hear you.. Hey Dad! Santa decided that after our “little talk” he won’t be bothering you again.
Santa Claus: Yeah Mike. I’m sorry. *reaches in his bag and pulls out a gift and gives it to Mike Check* Here. I was going to give it to one of those Wrestle–whatever guys but since he’s getting coal I’ll give it to you. OH-Ho-Ho-Ho!
Mike Check: Thanks Santa. Turns out yer a pretty decent feller. *opens gift* Its the Shallow Gravy Christmas Fan Album! I’ll play this right now!
Santa Claus: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
*Noise coming from the roof*
Mike’s Daughter (yawning): What the heck is that noise coming from the roof?
Mike Check: Dunno Darlin’. Are The Martians coming back for us?
*The front door mysteriously becomes open as Santa Claus tries to sneak in through the front door*
Mike’s Daughter: AH! Dad there’s some bum dressed in a Santa outfit is trying to break in!
Santa Claus (turning around confused): What?!? *Glares at Mike Check* Oh! *sneering angrily* Its you.
Mike Check: Santa.
Mike’s Daughter: What’s going on here?
Mike Check: Darlin’, that’s the real Santa Claus.
Mike’s Daughter: Come on! Santa isn’t real!
Santa Claus: That’s what they say and I still keep the lie up to bring presents all to the good little boys and girls! Ho-Ho-Ho- Why aren’t you in jail?
Mike Check: I-
Mike’s Daughter: Long story short the guys over at wrestlecrapradio.com got my dad out of jail and he’s serving the rest of the time under house arrest.
Santa Claus: Well I’m going to have to give them all coal for this year! Ho-Ho-Ho! No seriously why are you here? This was supposed to be for little Jenny?
Mike’s Daughter: We have been living here since 2011 Santa. By the way why are you acting like a jerk?
Mike Check: Remember that time Darlin’ that I worked at the North Pole for NPOL as Frosty Largerod?
Mike’s Daughter: Vaguely.
Mike Check: Well…Santa here…
Santa Claus: I basically rescued the idiot here from death, the elves nursed him back to health, and he repays me by sleeping with Mrs. Claus!
Mike’s Daughter: NO! NO! I can’t– NO!
Santa Claus: You think you were in shock, I found out the hard way when I heard Mrs. Claus yell out “LET’S MAKE A BABY KING! LET’S MAKE A BABY KING! HARDER! HARDER!”
Mike’s Daughter: Dad?
Mike Check: Yes Darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: I’ve been wondering something. Why weren’t you invited at All In since Raging_Demons put up so much hype about you going?
Mike Check: Probably because I would draw a lot of attention away from the other wrestlers Darlin’. That’s why.
Mike Check: Hold on there Darlin’. *picks up phone* KMCR Radio?
Raging_Demons: Boy, your full of yourself there!
Mike’s Daughter: What do you want dingus?
Raging_Demons: I was randomly listening to the show for quality purposes because I don’t know what would your father would say to get us in trouble here at wrestlecrapradio.com and your WAY further than the truth. First of all Deal and Blade didn’t need you at all Mike. Also if they did need you. Well…
Mike Check: Well what?
Raging_Demons: Cody didn’t want you there.
Mike Check: Who?
Mike’s Daughter: He means Cody Rhodes. What do you mean he didn’t want my Dad there?
Mike Check: Yeah especially since, is his father Dusty Rhodes?
Mike’s Daughter: Yes Dad.
Mike Check: Especially since he did horrible work. His plumbing repair was horrible, I can never get good cuts of meat–
Mike’s Daughter: Those were old horrible WWE comedy scenes.
Mike Check: No there were real. In fact–
Raging_Demons: ANYWAYS! Cody knows a lot about you Mike. Cody mentioned two reasons. One, and he brought up this by name, was how your not family friendly–
Mike Check: I love the families–
Raging_Demons: AHEM! Especially Mike when it comes to kids and he did mention Jake Lloyd Jr.
Raging_Demons: And the other reason is that…How can I say this nicely? Mike Check is a Super Freak!
Mike’s Daughter: I think I can understand that one
Mike Check: I do love the fillies!