Monthly Archives: June 2015
Well fellers! KMCR was infected by the kid kind these past couple of days. We literally had some precocious whipper snapper dropped right at our doorsteps here and I had to admit fellers that this kid was all to familiar to me. That varmit gave me nightmares for awhile and I thought he was gone forever but like ole whiskey he keeps coming back.
Social Services came today to pick him up even though he was asleep at the time and that varmit was all tuckered out so they literally picked him up from the bed. While I was told his father, who I would like to say I would rather kick him in the groin personally speaking for doing that to his son but I’m too much of a Goody Two Shoes.
That’s right its Adam Ant here on…The Macker!
Jake Lloyd Jr: WHEE! I’m like daddy! *Jake Lloyd Jr runs around the Mike Check home wearing one of his daughter’s huge bras as a hat*
Mike Check’s Daughter: You get back here you brat! Don’t you know how much it costs to get a custom made bra?!?
*While the chase is going on Mike Check is sitting in a recliner with an ice pack on his crotch*
Mike Check’s Daughter: DAD! Get in here and help me out with this damn kid!
Mike Check: Oh no! I already had enough of my fair share with him the last time I met him at that Star Wars/Star Trek Convention where I was doing a live remote for RJ and Brad over at WWCR. All I wanted to do was get an interview for the radio and he kickeded me in the family jewels like you saw there which made me blackout and was made a fool of because those Star Wars people somehow put me in one of them there metal bikinis that the fillies were wearing and had me placed near that green worm whatever he is. Not going near that kid ever again!
Mike Check’s Daughter: Well we have to deal with him until Social Services pick him up tomorrow since his dad got arrested somewhere in Charleston and ever since we got this kid he’s been causing havoc all over the place so come on and get your ass up from that chair DAD!
Mike Check: No! Being kicked in the family jewels twice by that kid is enough for me in my lifetime!
Jake Lloyd Jr: Hey what’s this? *holding in his hand “Who put the bomp (in the bomp, bomp, bomp” record by The Viscounts*
Mike Check: That’s today song! Gimme that! *Mike Check grabs the record but Jake Lloyd Jr bites Mike Check in the wrist but manages to grab the record* OW!
Jake Lloyd Jr: Get away from me weirdo!
Mike Check’s Daughter: OK that’s enough! *grabs her bra back from Jake Lloyd Jr* You seriously need a time out!
*Jake Lloyd Jr responds by giving Mike Check’s daughter a purple merple*
Mike Check’s Daughter: OW! That hurts since they’re sensitive. You LITTLE–
Mike Check: Hold on there. Now would you like some candy kid?
Jake Lloyd Jr: Stranger Danger! Get away from me weirdo!
Mike Check’s Daughter: *sighs* Dad go find me that baseball bat because in about 30 seconds this kid is SO going to get his ass kicked!
Mike Check: Now-now darlin’ that ain’t the way to handle a kid like this. Now little boy how about some of them there ice cream? Would you want that?
Jake Lloyd Jr: Ice cream?
Mike Check: Yeah some ice cream. Maybe some pizza too then after that how about we go to Disneyland. I used to work there once by riding the choo-choo.
Jake Lloyd Jr: Yay! Disneyland!
Mike Check: Now go in the kitchen there and we’ll get you some of that ice cream for you.
Jake Lloyd Jr: YAY! Ice Cream! *Jake Lloyd Jr runs into the kitchen*
Mike Check’s Daughter: Dad are you nuts?!? Promising that little demon a trip to Disneyland?!?
Mike Check (whispering): Grab that bottle of Jim Beam near the refrigerator and put some into that brat’s ice cream and he’ll be out in no time.
Mike Check’s Daughter: Clever dad.
Mike Check: Now let me go and play today’s song here on…The Macker!
Jake Lloyd Jr: Ice Cream! Yippee!!!
*knocking on the door*
Mike Check’s Daughter: Coming! *opens door*
*outside the door is a mysterious woman and a little boy*
Woman: *shoves boy to Mike Check’s Daughter* Take him, he’s yours!
Mike Check’s Daughter: Hey wait a minute! *The woman gets in her car and takes off* OK this is odd. Little boy do you
know where your parents are?
Boy: Daddy dropped me off at that lady’s place a few days ago.
Mike Check’s Daughter: Aw that’s so sad. You wanna go inside to get a drink?
Boy: Ok lady.
Mike Check’s Daughter: Dad we got a little problem here! Some crazy lady left a little boy here–what’s your name dear?
Mike Check: Darlin’ what’s going on n–Oh NO!
*Jake kicks Mike Check in the groin*
Mike Check’s Daughter: Shame on you! Who do you think you are?
Boy: Jake Lloyd Jr! Yippee!!!