Sex Over The Phone by The Village People

Mike Check: February’s “Love on The Ropes Month” returns tomorrow once again on KMCR and….

(*Phone rings*)

Mike Check: What now. (*picks up phone*) KMCR Radio, Mike Check here…

Gay Popeye: Aw gyuk gyuk gyuk! Well blow me……………….

Mike Check: Oh no, not you again “Happy Hawkeye”. Ole Mike knew that I shouldn’t have made that reference to you yesterday because I was darn happy not having to hear from you for a few months.

Gay Popeye: ……..DOWN! Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk! Gay Popeye herez and Iza missed yez Mike. I bet yez missed ole Gay Popeye there?

Mike Check: No-

Gay Popeye: Oh, and speaking of “Lovez On the Ropez” Mike? Yez know that RD and Blade referz to the phone as the “Tin-Can-and-String” and a “string” iz likez a small “rope”. So yez know the reason I’m calling yez over the “phone” today?

Mike Check: No feller. And I don’t think I wanna hear about it either?

Gay Popeye: I wantz to request a Village Peoplez song and I want yez to read out the title and then tellz me what you thinkz?

Mike Check: You mean, excuse my language, the song “Sex Over The Phone”?

Gay Popeye: Ah yez. Say it Mike. Say it slow. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk!….

Gay Popeye: Goodbye Feller! (*hangs up phone*)

Football Rap by The Cast from “Wildcats”

Mike Check: Weeelll fellers. Mike Check understands that it’s just over a week away from the Superbowl, Superbowl 50 to be exact. Ole Mike remembers…did I ever tell you fellers about the time I worked the Los Angeles, California market around the time of the first ever Superbowl back in 1967? Except they didn’t refer to it as that yet, no, it was called “The First AFL-NFL World Championship Game”, and…

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check: Sorry to interrupt my story there fellers but the phone’s ringin’ again. (*picks up phone*) KMCR, Mike Check speaking?

Wrestlecrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen:

(*singing in the tune of “I Hate Myself For Loving You” by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts*)
Football, Superbowl, next week on my TV.
My fantasy season sucked but I can guarantee,
That next Sunday’s pick will lead to victory.

Hey Jack, it’s a fact that it’s the sport of kings.
But I’m the Queen that will predict the right things.
Under my skirt, I wear my co…eh?…diamond rings.

Mike, I’m here to help before you play.
And “fascinating” is what you will say-iay-iay-iay.

The Wrestlecrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen.
They say my fantasy picks are really obscene.
I still stand up when I use the men’s latrine.
I’m the Wrestlecrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen.

(*talking*)
Hey, you need a player for your fantasy Superbowl pick? Although all of my season picks sucked, I’m quite confident that you should choose Krucshinski from the “Wildcats”. No one else picked him so I snatched him right up.

(*re-commences singing*)
I’m a man in a dress, but I need no ass cream.
Unlike Gay Popeye, I don’t play for that team.
If next week’s pick don’t win, then I’m gonna scream!
I’m the Wrestlecrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen.
Ohhhhhh, Yeeaaaahhh! Wi-wi-wilcats! Ahhehahehahe!

(*phone hangs up*)

Mike Check: Fascinating. I’m not sure that I understand any of those references sung by that Ben Vereen sounding feller over there but…well at least it wasn’t that Happy Hawkeye feller, let me tell you. And I don’t think that a team called the “Wildcats” are in the Superbowl this year or even compete in the NFL for that matter? Anyway, here’s a song from the movie “Wildcats” here on…THE MACKER!

Malafemma by Sergio Franchi

Octopus by Syd Barrett

I Think I’m Paranoid by Garbage

Los Angeles by Frank Black

Once In A Lifetime by Talking Heads

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check: Hello, Mike Check here.

Mick Foley: Hi Mike, it’s Mick Foley here, and I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about my promise to bring you your “Once In A Lifetime” birthday celebration in April and I’m already starting to make the arrangements.

Mike Check: That’s swell there feller, but are you gonna tell ole Mike what you have in store there?

Mick Foley: No, it’s gonna be a big surprise! I know you like surprises Mike?!

Mike Check: Well not really –

Mick Foley: See you soon Mike! Have a nice day!

Mike Check: (*hangs up phone*) Fascinating.