Sorry Suzanne by The Hollies

Mike Check (*taps microphone*): Is this thing on? Oh yes it is. Weelll fellers, it seems that ole Mike hasn’t been thrown off the air yet. I rarely plays two songs in one day, but under the circumstances, I need take this opportunity to play this tune right now to apologize to a filly named Suzie Shuffle. Earlier today, I had somehow said some words that I don’t remember saying and then played a song that offended her. I can’t explain my brief lack of judgement? Perhaps ole Mike is getting too old for the radio game? But anyhow, ole Mike will admit to my mistake and hopefully this song will make up for it? So I’m “Sorry Suzanne” and here’s The Hollies here on…(*sadly sighs*) perhaps ole Mike’s last show?

Runaround Sue by Dion

Mike Check: For my final song on “Love On The Ropes Month” here’s the last song that I will dedicate to Suzie Shuffle. She still hasn’t called KMCR yet so I don’t know if she has forgiven me. Oh well. Ole Mike will just have to accept the fact that… (*voice changes to a deeper tone all of a sudden*) I WANT TO WHIP OUT MY LIGHTNING ROD AND SPRINKLE MY YELLOW RAIN ALL OVER THAT “RUNAROUND SUZIE’S” FACE, NECK AND CHEST! …OH, AND WORSHIP THE DEVIL!

Mike’s Daughter: What?! Why did you do that dad?!

Mike Check (*voice is back to normal*): I don’t know darlin’? What just happened to me?

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check: Hello. KMCR?

Suzie Shuffle: Mike! I’ve been trying to ignore your stupid love songs all week, but now you’re playing “Run Around Sue”?! Are saying that I’m some sort of whore? This is all time low Mike! Even lower than the low pressure system sweeping through New York Tomorrow. So as far as I’m concerned, I forecast that you can take your lightning rod and go screw yourself!

Mike Check: But…I didn’t…I don’t know…?

(*Suzie hangs up the phone*)

Mike Check: But? It wasn’t me? I think I was possessed or something?

Mike’s Daughter: What are you talking about?! Oh no! If Premier Blah finds out about this we’re both fu….

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check: Hello. KMCR?

Raging_Demons: What the hell was that Mike!?! You were already on thin ice and you just had to reopen ole wounds from last year! You have been a pain on my side since Day One and I have had it with you! I’ve talked to Premier Blah and screw that Ninja Turtles CD! Starting tomorrow, we will be make the arrangements to take over The Mike Check Show permanently! Goodbye. (*slams down phone*)

Mike Check: But…

If You Knew Susie by Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly

Mike’s Daughter: Why are you staring at the phone dad?

Mike Check: I’ve been playing all these songs dedicated to that pretty filly Suzie Shuffle and weelll perhaps today will be the day that she will finally call the show to accept my apology.

Mike’s Daughter: Uh? So why don’t you just call her? Or, never mind just…

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check: See I told you. (*picks up phone*) KMCR? Hello there Suzie?

Gay Popeye: Aw gyuk gyuk gyuk! Well blow me……………….

Mike Check: No! No! No! Not you; Happy Hawkeye!

Gay Popeye: ….DOWN! Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk! Yez Mike. It’z Gay Popeye herez and I don’t know whyz yer haven’t accepted my phone callz for the last six monthz?. But never mindz that now, becauze I just wantz to tell yez to forget about that Weather Girl andz her “cold front” and beez with a man who’z temperature is hotz for yer Mike.

Mike Check: My answer is still NO and…

Gay Popeye: Waitz Mike, don’tz yer hang up! I hearz that yer gonna play a song from the film “Anchorz Aweigh”, starringz those BIG…AND BURLY Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, where they werez dressed as sailorz….

Mike Check: What’s your point there feller?

Gay Popeye: My “point”, oh yez Mike say it slow. Uh anyway, my pointz is; would yer like to droppz yer “Anchor” in my…

Mike Check: No! Goodbye feller!

Gay Popeye: But. But. But.

(*Mike hangs up phone*)

Mike’s Daughter (*mockingly*): Awww. If things don’t work out with Suzie, it looks like there’s someone out there that does want you dad.

Mike Check: Fascinating but not fascinating enough. Ole Mike is all about the fillies, let me tell you. And “If You Knew Suzie, like I know Suzie”, she will surely call ole Mike after I play this next tune on “Love On The Ropes” Month, here on…THE MACKER!

Suzie Q by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Mike Check: Well today I thought that I’d take my daughter’s, who’s one hell of a whiz-kid, advice and dedicate to my sweet Suzie Shuffle a song from the 1970’s…

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check: Perhaps that’s her right now? (*picks up phone*): Hello? KMCR?

Cassius Weave: Eeeeeeyyyy Bobby, how ya doin’ eh?

Mike Check: Why isn’t it my ole friend Cassius Weave from “The Bob and Weave Morning Drive”. How is it hanging there feller?

Cassius Weave: A little to the left Baby! But, what’s this jive about you playing tunes to my foxy lady Suzie? I told you that she’s my girl!

Mike Check: Ole Mike felt a little bad for upsetting her last year and…hold on just a minute there feller, did you say “your girl”? That’s not what she sa…

Mike’s Daughter (*interrupts*): Dad! Don’t say it.

Mike Check: Uh…sorry there Cassius..uh…do you want to introduce the next song for her for all time sake?

Cassius Weave: Eeeeeeyyyy, sure there Bobby. How about we rock “Suzie Q” by The CCR here on THE MACKER, BABY YEAH!

Susie’s Feller by The Denza Dance Band

Mike’s Daughter: Dad, say if Suzie Shuffle was actually listening to this show, which I doubt anyway, but shouldn’t you play something a bit more recent? You know, like after the 1940’s? Didn’t you used to work together in the late 70’s?

Mike Check: Hush darlin’. Anything that ole Mike plays is timeless and I would think that I would know exactly what works well in her market. Anyway here’s a song, that once playing it, will surely result in ole Mike becoming “Susie’s Feller” here on “Love On The Ropes” Month!

Mike’s Daughter: Sooo, still no phone call, hmmmm?

Mike Check: Hush darlin’!

Pretty Little Black Eyed Susie by Guy Mitchell

Mike Check: Here’s another song dedicated to that pretty little filly Suzie Shuffle, who…

Mike’s Daughter: Dad. Are you sure that this is a good idea? I mean you almost had us thrown off the air last year for pissing her off, and we can’t afford to have that happen again since the guys at Wrestlecrapradio.com have those “money issues” hanging over our heads.

Mike Check: Don’t worry darlin’. She’ll surely forgive ole Mike after I play this next tune by Guy Mitchell on “Love On The Ropes” Month. It’s “Pretty Little Black Eyed Susie” here on…THE MACKER!

Mike’s daughter: Yeah, and I hope this won’t result in you becoming “Black eyed” Mike Check any time soon.

Susie Darlin’ by Robin Luke

Weelll fellers! “Love On The Ropes” Month is almost coming to an end for another year and since Premier Blake is still allowing ole Mike to play what I see fit; the next five days will be dedicated to my ole love Suzie Shuffle. As you fellers know, Suzie was the weather girl of a radio program that I co-hosted in the in Ithica, New York market under the name Bob Ali along with Cassius Weave. We were “The Bob and Weave Morning Drive” at WTKO: The Knockout”! But if you listened to Mike Check’s “This Is Your Life” debacle from last year, Suzie was a little mad about some innuendos of a sexual nature that I had made. But anyway, to make it up to her, ole Mike will dedicate the next five songs to my “Suzie Darlin'” here on…THE MACKER!