Mike Check: Darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: Yeah Dad?
Mike Check: What were you doing?
Mike’s Daughter: Bouncing? Guys like it when I bounce.
Mike Check: No one is going to see that! Also you nearly got me in trouble with yesterday’s song with some of the language in that whatever you called it! I’m beginning to regret this decision that I made here with you taking over if I’m gone. I wonder if I can get Penny Simpson back? We can bring back “The Penny Cillin Show?”
Mike’s Daughter: DAD! I got today’s song and you’ll really like it.
Mike Check: Oh?
Mike’s Daughter: You play a lot of pro wrestling music right?
Mike Check: Yes I learned back in my WTKO days with the WWF that music plays well in the market. Especially with most music done by that Rick Derringer and Jim Johnson fellers.
Mike’s Daughter: Rick Derringer hasn’t done music with “WWF” since “The Wrestling Album” and Jim Johnson hasn’t done a lot of music for WWE since he was fired a few years back. Instead WWE hired a couple of music producers that does all the wrestler’s theme music and they called themselves “CFO$” and today I’m going to play one of their songs that definitely plays well in your market.
Mick Check: And what is this song called?
Mike’s Daughter: Its called “The Rising Son”. It was Number 1 in iTunes.
Mike Check: And what pray tell is an “iTunes”?
Mike’s Daughter: Just listen to the song here on, The Macker?
Mike Check: Weell hello there fellers! Let’s hope that 2018 is a better year for ole Mike since 2017 was a disaster, let me tell you. We had our radio station almost taken from us, then bought back by SAM, then almost taken away again. Not to mention facing brink of going to hell…twice…literally. Yes, we have definitely fallen on some hard times here on the Mike Check Show, which is why I had to resort to selling Christmas trees to make some dough last month…
Mike’s Daughter: Wait? I thought that we were supposed to keep that Christmas tree ‘side business’ a secret, dad? …Oh wait. *sigh* you told RD and Blade about it on Wrestlecrap Radio’s Christmas podcast, didn’t you?
Mike Check: Yes, don’t remind me. And ole Mike got some of that mace in my eyes from this pretty filly, I think her name was Sue, because she misunderstood my “Bald Cypress” reference?
Mike’s daughter: Yeah, you have to stop pissing off women named “Sue”.
Mike Check: I’m not sure that I understand that reference there darlin’?
Mike’s daughter: You know, as in “Suzie Shuffle”; your old weather girl that almost got our show cancelled…twice?
Mike Check: When was that?
Mike’s daughter: *sigh* Never mind (*changes subject*)…But, hey I have an idea…RD and Blade started a Patreon site to raise some money? Perhaps I could start up a Patreon site to help us?
Mike Check: Don’t be silly there darlin, how’s that Mexican wrestler from TNA’s eyesight gonna help us?
Mike’s Daughter: I said Patreon, not El Patron! Geeze!
Mike Check: Don’t get cranky there darlin’ or I might rethink my nice surprise that I have for you tomorrow here on KMCR?
Mike’s Daughter: Surprise? Well this could either go good or bad? But why for me?
Mike Check: Because there darlin, ole Mike wants to “Start The New Year Right” here before the Martians soon enslave us all here on…THE MACKER!
Mike’s Daughter: Dad I know we’re in big trouble with our finances as of late but people are messaging me like hell on Facebook asking if you had any connection with Lance Catamaran? Is that true?
Mike Check: Lance…Catamaran? Name doesn’t ring a bell Darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: Let me see if I can help. WWE recently found a lost VHS tape of a wrestling promotion called “Southpaw Regional Wrestling” and there’s this commentator named Lance Catamaran. Now Lance keeps repeating of a job that he had in Utica, New York as a newscaster. Does that help?
Mike Check: Hrm. Utica did you say?
Mike’s Daughter: Yes Utica.
Mike Check: I don’t remember any Lance Catmandu but I do remember working in the Utica Market. I stayed in the New York area after I was let go from WTKO in Ithaca, that’s where I did “The Bob & Weave Show” and one of the places I landed was a radio station in the Utica area. Shortly afterwards the radio station merged with a local Utica TV Station WUTR. I was doing my usual Sunday Information Radio show as there as Mike Check, one of the few times I actually used my given name and I thought I keep the name of the show somewhat regional because I thought it would play well in our market & I called it “Here’s Looking At YOU-tica Kid!”
*Mike’s Daughter groans*
Mike Check: Anyways since the TV People and the Radio people shared the same building and occasionally we would meet in the cafeteria to have breaks, lunches, and what not. Usually the TV people and the Radio people don’t really get along. The TV people were always so high and snooty because they can get seen and heard while calling Radio “TV for ugly people”. I showed a few of those TV people what Radio was for if you know what I mean there Darlin’! Funny thing was this weird kid just started off as a TV newscaster wanted to hang around me a lot to know the Radio business.
Mike’s Daughter: That must be Lance Catamaran!
Mike Check: No. The kid’s name was…Larry if I’m right?
Mike’s Daughter: Larry?!? That doesn’t sound like a news casting sort of name.
Mike Check: You starting to sound like RJ and Brad there always interrupting my stories there Darlin’. Larry asked all sorts of questions about the Radio business and I was slowly mentoring him in a way that Walter Cronkite mentored me. One day Larry came up to me asking advice how to get this particular filly so I gave him some advice.
Mike’s Daughter: So what happened next?
Mike Check: He never showed back to work again. I heard he was fired for harassing a filly, he kept muttering saying he wanted to do a “Buffalo Nickelback” on her. I’m not sure I understood that particular reference there. Its too bad he was gone; that kid wanted to partner up with me and expand my Sunday show to also cover the Buffalo and Springfield area, he wanted to call it The Buffalo-Springfield Hour or “The BS Hour” for short.
Mike’s Daughter: But Dad, “Larry” could possibly be Lance Catamaran?
Mike Check: Nah leave it there Darlin’. He could had change his name into someone else as far I know.
Mike Check: KMCR. Mike Check speaking?
R.V.M Kai: What’s going on Mike? About a year ago I almost closed this show down because of your idiocy, and then you had to…? Look, I’m just calling to tell you that I have tried to convince my colleagues Premier Blah and Raging_Demons into letting your show back on the air because something tells me that you may not be guilty this time. I have reviewed yesterday’s audio that offended Suzie Shuffle and I don’t even don’t know what to think of it? I mean, you’re not the most politically correct guy in the world, but acting like a complete “troll” is not like you? It doesn’t make sense that you could speak in a demonic voice and then tell your listeners to worship Satan? “What’s Up” with that?
Mike Check: I don’t either know there feller? Ole Mike was possessed, let me tell you.
R.V.M Kai: Yeah, whatever? Oh, and I just wanted to tell you to not to worry about looking for that Ninja Turtles CD anymore. I’ve just been informed that, although we’re still letting you have the show for now, you will have to pay back what you embezzled from Premier Blah by the end of the month or he wants 100% of the shares in The Mike Check Show. See ya. (*hangs up phone*)
Mike’s Daughter (*walks into room*): What’s Up Dad?
Mike Check: That feller from Down under says that they want us to pay up in full or Premier Blake will take over KMCR by the end of March. What are we gonna do?
Mike’s Daughter: (*sigh*) Crap! Looks like that I have to work double the poles at work now?
Mike Check: It’s good what you do for the Polish after what they have been through.
Mike’s Daughter: Uh? Yeah? Those poles?
Mike Check (*taps microphone*): Is this thing on? Oh yes it is. Weelll fellers, it seems that ole Mike hasn’t been thrown off the air yet. I rarely plays two songs in one day, but under the circumstances, I need take this opportunity to play this tune right now to apologize to a filly named Suzie Shuffle. Earlier today, I had somehow said some words that I don’t remember saying and then played a song that offended her. I can’t explain my brief lack of judgement? Perhaps ole Mike is getting too old for the radio game? But anyhow, ole Mike will admit to my mistake and hopefully this song will make up for it? So I’m “Sorry Suzanne” and here’s The Hollies here on…(*sadly sighs*) perhaps ole Mike’s last show?
Mike Check: For my final song on “Love On The Ropes Month” here’s the last song that I will dedicate to Suzie Shuffle. She still hasn’t called KMCR yet so I don’t know if she has forgiven me. Oh well. Ole Mike will just have to accept the fact that… (*voice changes to a deeper tone all of a sudden*) I WANT TO WHIP OUT MY LIGHTNING ROD AND SPRINKLE MY YELLOW RAIN ALL OVER THAT “RUNAROUND SUZIE’S” FACE, NECK AND CHEST! …OH, AND WORSHIP THE DEVIL!
Mike’s Daughter: What?! Why did you do that dad?!
Mike Check (*voice is back to normal*): I don’t know darlin’? What just happened to me?
Mike Check: Hello. KMCR?
Suzie Shuffle: Mike! I’ve been trying to ignore your stupid love songs all week, but now you’re playing “Run Around Sue”?! Are saying that I’m some sort of whore? This is all time low Mike! Even lower than the low pressure system sweeping through New York Tomorrow. So as far as I’m concerned, I forecast that you can take your lightning rod and go screw yourself!
Mike Check: But…I didn’t…I don’t know…?
(*Suzie hangs up the phone*)
Mike Check: But? It wasn’t me? I think I was possessed or something?
Mike’s Daughter: What are you talking about?! Oh no! If Premier Blah finds out about this we’re both fu….
Mike Check: Hello. KMCR?
Raging_Demons: What the hell was that Mike!?! You were already on thin ice and you just had to reopen ole wounds from last year! You have been a pain on my side since Day One and I have had it with you! I’ve talked to Premier Blah and screw that Ninja Turtles CD! Starting tomorrow, we will be make the arrangements to take over The Mike Check Show permanently! Goodbye. (*slams down phone*)
Mike Check: But…
Mike’s Daughter: Why are you staring at the phone dad?
Mike Check: I’ve been playing all these songs dedicated to that pretty filly Suzie Shuffle and weelll perhaps today will be the day that she will finally call the show to accept my apology.
Mike’s Daughter: Uh? So why don’t you just call her? Or, never mind just…
Mike Check: See I told you. (*picks up phone*) KMCR? Hello there Suzie?
Gay Popeye: Aw gyuk gyuk gyuk! Well blow me……………….
Mike Check: No! No! No! Not you; Happy Hawkeye!
Gay Popeye: ….DOWN! Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk! Yez Mike. It’z Gay Popeye herez and I don’t know whyz yer haven’t accepted my phone callz for the last six monthz?. But never mindz that now, becauze I just wantz to tell yez to forget about that Weather Girl andz her “cold front” and beez with a man who’z temperature is hotz for yer Mike.
Mike Check: My answer is still NO and…
Gay Popeye: Waitz Mike, don’tz yer hang up! I hearz that yer gonna play a song from the film “Anchorz Aweigh”, starringz those BIG…AND BURLY Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, where they werez dressed as sailorz….
Mike Check: What’s your point there feller?
Gay Popeye: My “point”, oh yez Mike say it slow. Uh anyway, my pointz is; would yer like to droppz yer “Anchor” in my…
Mike Check: No! Goodbye feller!
Gay Popeye: But. But. But.
(*Mike hangs up phone*)
Mike’s Daughter (*mockingly*): Awww. If things don’t work out with Suzie, it looks like there’s someone out there that does want you dad.
Mike Check: Fascinating but not fascinating enough. Ole Mike is all about the fillies, let me tell you. And “If You Knew Suzie, like I know Suzie”, she will surely call ole Mike after I play this next tune on “Love On The Ropes” Month, here on…THE MACKER!