Monthly Archives: August 2017
Mike Check: I heard something bad that happened sexy filly Rosemary Darlin’! Is that true?
Mike’s Daughter: Yeah its true Dad. A female wrestler named Sexy Star put an armbar on her and dislocated her arm because she was trying to hurt Rosemary on purpose.
Mike Check: Well that ain’t right! Fillies shouldn’t be hurting one another, unless its in a ring filled with oil damn it!
Mike’s Daughter: I don’t know where to begin with what you just said there Dad!
Mike Check: And if its not in any oilled, or mud, filled ring they should be fighting ole Mike Check in the bedroom ring there Darlin’!
Mike’s Daughter: Didn’t the last time you “fought” a woman didn’t Ronda Rousey kick your ass?
Mike Check: Uh…That’s besides the point. So I’m sending out a special song out to Rosemary that’ll make her feel better and make her “play well in my market” if you know what I mean?
Mike’s Daughter: Unfortunately yes I do. So what will it be? Marilyn Manson? Rob Zombie? The Misfits?
Mike Check: Its “That’s You Baby” by George Olsen here on…The Macker!
Mike Check: Why? WHY?!? Why do these former WWF stars keep finding me?!?
Mike’s Daughter: Well to be honest Chris Jericho and Batista were here promoting their own projects and Mick Foley was trying to do a nice thing by giving you records, and he basically tried to kill you.
Mike Check: What about that feller that wanted to kill me everytime I said May 19th?
*A voice in the distance cries out “DON’T SAY THAT DATE!”*
Mike’s Daughter: Yeah that one was weird?
Mike Check: Now I got this Goat Poopy person here *The Great Khali stares menacily at Mike Check* wants to teach me, Mike Check of all people, that knows how to play well in any market, how to talk to people!
Mike’s Daughter: Well Dad your big mouth got us into this mess–*Great Khali yells and mumbles in an incoherent language* What? Yes, right away! Dad help me grab some chairs!
Mike Check: You understood all of that?
Mike’s Daughter: I got a degree in speaking and understand Great Khali. He wants to speaks to us now. *grabs a couple of chairs* Get that one right there Dad.
*Mike Check and his daughter brought some chairs into the living room and they all sat down.*
Great Khali (coughs and inhales): BLERG-EPP-EEK-OPP-ORC-AHAH THHBBPPPTTT
Mike Check: What in the sam hill was that?
Mike’s Daughter: Let me translate. He said “Look. Between you and me Jinder Mahal wanted me to kill the old man here for what he said but I don’t know what he said and the aging cowboy here looks like a decent guy so I’m not going to beat him up. As a former cop in India I know how things tend to escalate rather quickly, AND since he won the title Jinder Mahal has turned pretty much into a jerk. I mean I paid for his air guitar lessons when he was in that band 3MB! So if anyone asks I killed him within an inch of his life ok?” Wow thanks Khali your awesome!
Mike Check: Yeah Great Peepee your a heck of a guy!
Great Khali: Huh?
Mike’s Daughter: Dad! That’s not his name!
Mike Check: Oh sorry there Grand Salty, I tend to be a bit forgetful wih names there.
*Great Khali is starting to get a bit angry*
Mike’s Daughter: Dad!
Mike Check: What? I mean he’a a great guy for not going to beat me up there. He’s a big squezable, what’s that name of that character, oh yeah Mapu! *Great Khali is starting to get pissed*
Mike’s Daughter: Dad! You better shut up now or —
Mike Check: What? I was wrong thanks to Grand Salty there. Not everyone of them look alike. I–
*Great Khali picks up Mike Check and does his Khali Chokeslam on Mike Check. Mike Check ends up landing in the kitchen.
*Great Khali starts to mumble and grumble icoherently theh he says*
Great Khali: URNG GRAM RAMBLE PLAY LAND OF FIVE RIVERS EEK THBBPT BUNNY YUMMY!
Mike’s Daughter: Khali said “How you get my name wrong how many times?!? Its The GREAT KHALI! You Dumb Son Of A–Wait! You said that! No wonder Jinder Mahal wanted me to kick your ass you racist son of a–GRAH! I’m hoping what I did will teach you a lesson now before I go could you play Land Of Five Rivers for me please? It makes me want to dance.” Dad! Dad? Great! He’s unconscious. How am I going to play that song with Dad unconscious?
Great Khali: BLEARGH!
Mike’s Daughter: Well I’ll be damned!
Mike Check: KMCR Radio?
Raging_Demons: Hello idiots.
Mike Check: Darlin’ that guy your interested in is on the phone.
Mike’s Daughter: Guy?
Mike Check: You know. The guy said you wanted to show him something for getting me out of jail?
Mike’s Daughter: HIM?!? After what Raging_Demons and his little buddy said about me on Twitter I rather that they die *pushes speaker phone button* What do you want dweebs?
Raging_Demons: What I want is to not to get involved into whatever you two get you get yourselves in trouble with! Guess who visited the wrestlecrapradio.com headquarters?!?
Mike Check: Santa?
Raging_Demons: Yes Santa.
Mike Check: Oh good, Santa and I used to work together at–
Raging_Demons: NO ITS NOT SANTA! It was Jinder Mahal!
Mike Check: Is it that guy–
Mike’s Daughter Yes Dad its that guy! Why was he there?
Raging_Demons: He was trying to find Mike Check and wanted to, as Angry Jim would say, stomp a Mudhole in Mike Check and walk it dry. All because of what Mike Check said last month!
Mike’s Daughter: You know my dad is real out of date at times. He didn’t mean–
Raging_Demons: Just shut it! I have some good news and some bad news. The good news after having a month long series of negotiations with him, Jinder Mahal has decided to NOT beat the life out of Mike Check.
Mike Check: And the bad news there feller?
Raging_Demons: Jinder Mahal agreed that Mike needs to be updated for the times So Mike Check is going to get some racial sensitivity and Jinder Mahal is going to pick the representative that will “teach” Mike.
Mike’s Daughter: Oh great! He’s going to send The Singh Brothers to beat my dad up.
Raging_Demons: Not really.
*A giant arm goes through the door as The Great Khali bursts into the home destroying the door in the process*
Mike Check: That feller must had taken his vitamins.
Mike’s Daughter: Dad! It’s The Great Khali and we’re in big trouble!
Raging_Demons: Meet your new teacher The Great Khali!