Intergalactic by Beastie Boys

Well a lot of things happened when ole Mike was on the planet Mars during our 7th Anniversary, such as working in a Martian radio station, and almost getting executed for accidentally sleeping with the Martian leader; “Kidar’s” wife…hey, how was I to know what those antennas on their heads are used for? But also Sam and his evil son Damien crash land on Mars and take it over. They also kidnapped my darlin’ daughter just so Sma could….well…it’s explained why here:

(*STAN’s son Damien and the three Mazi’s have captured Mike Check’s daughter and have brought her to Mars*)

Mike’s Daughter: Let me go, you slimy creeps! And what have you done with my father?!

Mike Check: Darlin?

Mike’s daughter: Dad! You’re alright?!

Mike Check: Yes there darlin’.

STAN: Oh, how touching. I’ll give you your opportunity to say any last words with each other before I get my Mazis to connect her to the Silicone draining machine. And don’t do anything smart, as my loyal Mazi servants will shoot you!

Mike’s daughter: (*runs over to hug her dad*) Dad! I’m okay, don’t worry about me!

Mike Check: But how did they capture you?

Mike’s Daughter: Well, that pip squeak Damien apparently has shape shifting abilities now and he had disguised himself as Doc Brown. He told me that he had come back from the future and had a flying saucer to take me to Mars to save you. I was stupid enough to believe him.

Mike Check: There There, It’s not your fault. And I don’t know why this SAM would kidnap you for silicone? You don’t have one ounce of silicone in your body?

Mike’s Daughter (*nervously folds here arms over her huge fake boobs*): Uh??? Yeah, I don’t understand it either dad?

STAN (*interrupts*): Okay, the family reunion is over. So, are you ready?

Mike’s Daughter: Okay, but before you torture me, will you at least tell me how you managed to escape the Phantom Zone?

STAN: Well basically, we were floating around space and happened to bump into another Phantom Zone that contained the three Mazi prisoners, who you know, and are now my loyal servants. Anyway, we all crashed landed here on top of Chochem, and the impact caused both Phantom Zones to Shatter, allowing us all to escape! Yes, it was that easy!

Kimar: Impossible. The Phantom Zone was designed by our finest scientists in our “Intergalactic Planetary” to be Indestructible?

STAN: Yeah, and that’s the same thing that you said about your stupid Robot, Torg 6? I guess they don’t make them like they used to, huh? Your Martian technology might as well be made by the damn Trolla Corporation?

Mike Check: Hey, the Trolla company’s has made some fine good products, let me tell you. Just ask Premier Blake (*winks*).

STAN: Whatever. But before I drain Mike’s Daughter’s “silicone”, let me tell you about my evil plan that I have in store. I will use you Martians as my army of slaves to fly a fleet of your flying saucers to invade the Earth, so I can finally take it over.

Kimar: Negative! No Martian will ever follow such a plan!

STAN: Really, not even if I turn you into Jimdar’s MMQ sauce making slave? (*to Jimdar*) I could help create your MMQ restaurant side business into an Universal empire, which will be more profitable than you have ever imagined?

Jimdar: Hmmm, that plan sounds tempting?

Kimar: What?!

Mike’s daughter (*interrupts*): You’re sick, STAN!

STAN: Yes, but lucky for you that you won’t have to see what will happen to the Earth because, let’s just say, that you will be the one that will be “sick” by then…and we will all “know about it” too. Now, my Mazi servants, take her away! And as for the rest of you Martians, as your new God, I command you invade—

(*voice from a distance*) Not so fast!

STAN: Oh?! Who is it now?! …Oh no, it’s Doc Brown?!

Martian Theme Song by The Satellite Singers / The Little Martian by Jan Amber

Well fellers! Remember when some martian fellers recused ole Mike from Sam and his son Damien? Well ole Mike ended up getting abducted by them, and taken back to their home Planet. The reasoning was that they needed ole Mike’s expertise as a radio disc jockey, to bring music to their planet. I didn’t know why they could have just asked me? Anyway , it also meant that my 7th Anniversary special couldn’t take place…well not on Earth anyway:


Mike’s Daughter (*Interrupts*): No Dad! There’s actually huge UFO hovering above our house and it’s jamming our signal! I think those Martians that imprisoned STAN and Damien during last years Halloween Hootenanny have returned, just like they said they would!? Where the hell is Doc Brown to help….???

(*A green Martian shows up on Mike’s Daughter’s computer screen*)

Kimar: Greetings Earthlings. I am Kimar, leader of the planet Mars and I have returned, as promised, to abduct the one you call “Mike Check”.

Mike’s Daughter: But you can’t?!

Kimar: Do not fear Mike Check and artificially breasted Earth Daughter. I come in peace. As I have told you five of your Earth months ago; we come in peace. Do you remember at that time, I had assisted you in defeating the demon in which you called STAN and his son Damien as a gesture of gratitude for your help, one Earth year previously. The unusual sound that you call “music”, which had never been heard on my planet until our radio waves picked up an earth signal of something you call “The Mike Check Show”, had helped us to destroy the Mazi rebel forces, whom were hypersensitive to such sounds, and thus ended the Great Martian War. And ever since the war’s conclusion, listening to your musical progrem has become the most popular pastime on Mars. And that is where you come in. Mike Check, I have come to take you back to my home planet for we need a radio deejay, and there are none better than you to bring us Martians this “entertainment” that you earthlings hold dear.

Mike Check (*trying to stall*): Weeell…I cannot do that right now as I am just about the start my Seven years of Whackin’ here on…

Kimar: This is not an invitation. We need you on Mars now. (*shouts out*) Get him Torg 6!

(*A 8 foot tall robot bursts through the door, grabs Mike and follows Kimar to his flying saucer*)

Mike’s Daughter: No! Bring back my dad! Oh no, now what are we going to do?!

—————-

Mike Check: Where am I?

Kimar: You Mike Check are on board my flying saucer.

Mike Check: What am I doing here feller? Take me back home. I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to leave my house? The police on Earth have put this nifty ankle bracelet on my leg and it’s supposed to warn them whenever I wonder off and get lost and these nice police fellers always seem to immediately turn up to help me back home.

Kimar: But Mike Check, I have come to take you back to my home planet Mars so you can, as you say, “play well in our particular market”. Our old and wise Chochem has prophesied that your brilliant ability to play this thing you call “music”, which is a new concept to my people, is just what we need for our race to settle into our post “Great Martian War” era.

Mike Check: Well what makes this Cho-cho feller so wise?

Kimar: That’s “Chochem”, have some respect, he is the oldest living Martian at 1000 of your Earth years old and knows and sees all. And he announced to me that we need “Mike Check on Mars”.

Mike Check: So he’s a little older than ole Mike, big deal. But why do you need me anyway? I’m sure that you smart green fellers could work out how to bang some drums or something?

Kimar: It’s much more complicated than that? For instance, after my wife arrived back from purchasing food pills for my children Bomar and Girmar, instead of expressing their desire for appetite, they were still glued to their “radios” listening to Earth musical progems. They also keep asking me strange questions like: “Father, what is “Boogie” and, Father, what is the meaning of “Rock and/or Roll?”? I have no answer for such strange questions? But you are an expert on such things because, it’s as you say, you have “worked many markets”.

Mike Check: Okay, but it sounds like you Martians fellers are a bunch of ‘squares’ if you need ole Mike to bring the Rock n’ Roll to Mars? But well whats in it for me?

Kimar: For your services, I will make sure to grant you every luxury that you have ever dreamed of; such as the best food pills you have ever tasted.

Mike Check: Don’t care. Take me home.

Kimar: We have fast flying vehicles, better than those Ferrari’s that you have on Earth.

Mike Check: No.

Kimar: Do you prefer, as you call them in Earth: Hookers?

Mike Check: So, what time do we get there “Little Martian” feller?

I Did Something Bad by Taylor Swift / Crush ‘Em by Megadeth

Well fellers! There was an unfortunate time during the Mike Check Show when our house was getting ransacked by Nazis. But fortunately for me and my daughter, we got a little help “crushing” them:

Mike’s Daughter: Oh my god this is so fun! I should had gone into radio! Here come some more crap for you Raging_Demons!

*A chorus can be heard outside singing the lyrics to “I Did A Bad Thing”*

Mike’s Daughter: Just what the hell is going out there?

*Rapid knocking on the door*

Mike’s Daughter: OK! OK!

*Mike Check’s Daughter opens the door to see a bunch of people on the front lawn with tiki torches and dressed business casual*

Mike’s Daughter: WHAT THE FU–?!?

???: Aw. You were der one that are playing rhe music of our dere goddess?

*The chorus on the lawn now sing “..Ready For It?”*

Mike’s Daughter: And who, or what exactly, is all this!?!?

Heir Weiner: Allow me to introduce ourselves here. I am Heir Veiner–

Mike’s Daughter: Hah! You called yourself WEINER!

Heir Weiner: SILENCE! As I was saying my name is Heir Veiner and we are “The White Swifties”. Ve’re a bunch of concerned gentlemen vho are concerned nowadays vith the current elewent of what’s going on today vith CERTAIN people coming into–

Mike’s Daughter: So you’re a bunch of Nazi racists that’s here on my lawn?!

Heir Weiner: SILENCE! Ve’re here because you vere playing the music of our true Aryan Goddess Taylor Swift!

Mike’s Daughter: Wait a minute! Nazi racists on my lawn worship Taylor Swift?

Heir Weiner: And ve would like it, no we DEMAND IT, that you play more about our Aryan Goddess RIGHT NOW!

Mike’s Daughter: Listen here! My dad has a little hobby of making his so-called, whatever it is, into a radio station. He has never heard of Taylor Swift at all! My dad is somewhat unconscious as we speak and there’s this douchebag of a boss that likes to request songs for himself around this time and. *goes back in the home, ejects the “Reputation” CD, puts it back in the case to show to Heir Weiner* I’m playing this god awful CD to ruin it for him!

*The White Swifties loudly gasp*

Heir Weiner: HOW DARE YOU! How dare that an Aryan naturally endowed woman like yourself–

Mike’s Daughter: They’re Natural! Wait! You said they were real. Thank you~!

Heir Weiner: Can consider The Goddess our nation’s latest album “avful”?!? *turns to the crowd* MEN! We shall take over this radio station so we can play all the Taylor Swift music ve vant!

Mike’s Daughter: NO! YOU CAN’T!

Heir Weiner: Vi Not…? *interrupted as he is speared outta nowhere by, 2018 WWE Hall Of Famer, Bill Goldberg*

Goldberg *gets up*: Why not?! Because…YOU’RE NEXT!

(Theme: Invasion by Christian Poulet and Jean-Yves Rigo)

Goldberg *picks Heir Weiner up for The Jackhammer*: Now, any more of you Nazi punks have anything to say?!

*The rest of the White Swifties run away*

Mike’s Daughter: Thank you Gold…*Goldberg grabs the Taylor Swift CD* Hey?! What are you doing?!

Goldberg: CRUSH ‘EM! *crushes CD with his foot and hands her over a Megadeth CD* And by “Crush ‘Em”, I mean that Raging_Demons sent me here for you to play this…NEXT!

Mike’s Daughter: But…*Goldberg starts to look cranky* Okay, Okay I’ll play it! *mumbles to herself* Damn that Raging_Demons.

Chase The Devil by Max Romeo

As I was saying before fellers, ole Mike and my daughter beat Sam in his song battle during “6 Years Of Whackin'”, but during Halloween Hootenanny later that year, he and his son Damien attempted to come after us again. But fortunate for us, we had some unexpected help from some Martians, who would later become ole Mike’s friends.

STAN (*still possessing Triple H’s body*): There’s nothing on the whole planet earth-ah that can defeat me and my son Damien-ah! Now, stop delaying the inevitable and hand over your souls like you should have done seven months ago-ah!

Mike Check: Okay fellers, you win.

Mike’s Daughter: No! D–(*interrupted as she sees a huge beam of light outside the window*): Dad! There’s a huge object hovering above out house! Is it a UFO?

(*A Martian transports, Star Trek style, into Mike’s House*):

Kimar: Greetings Earthlings. I am Kimar, leader of the planet Mars.

Mike’s Daughter: Oh no! Martians?! Look we’re sorry that we accidentally killed your people with that Slim Whitman song during Halloween Hootenanny last year, but we had an annoying Zombie problem and now we have a bit of a–

Kimar: Do not fear earth woman. The “so called” Martians that you had massacred, one of your earth years ago, were members of the Mazi rebel forces that we were fighting in the Great Martian War. Actually, we have come in gratitude for you helping us finding the method in defeating them with the unusual sound that you call “music”. You see, the rebels are a race that are hypersensitive to such sounds. Sounds in which have never been heard on my planet until our radio waves picked up an earth signal of something you call “The Mike Check Show”. Since the war ended, listening to “The Mike Check Show” has become the most popular pastime on Mars–

STAN: What has this story got to do with anything-ah? Now will you go away-ah! My son Damien and I-ah are trying to take over the Earth-ah!

Kimar: Ha Ha Ha. The Demon they call “STAN”; your evil powers are no match for my Martian Ray Gun. And that’s why we have come, we wish to display our Martian gratitude to the earthling they call “Mike Check” by assisting him in defeating his worst enemy.

Mike Check: So you fellers have killed Ringo Starr? It’s about time, let me tell you.

Kimar: Your Earthling sense of humor confuses me? No, we are here to take the Demon, you call STAN, prisoner!

Damien: You think my Dad is scared of your little pop gun? Why…(*Kimar shoots STAN*)…What the F–

(*STAN’s essence leaves Triple H’s Body*)

Triple H (*un-possessed*): What happened-ah? (*looks around*) Where the hell am I? This is not Stamford, Connecticut?!

(*Damien sets the top of Triple H’s head on fire and he runs out of Mike’s House screaming*)

STAN: If you think what my son just did to Triple H was “Hot”, now that you have just released me into my true form, not only can I now finally stop annoyingly saying “ah” after ever fricken sentence, I also now possess the full evil power to…(*STAN and Damien are enclosed in a glass prison like structure that rapidly shrinks*)…Wait?! What’s happening to me?! what are you doing to us?! Let us out!

Kimar: You have both just been imprisoned in a structure, we call “The Phantom Zone”, in which no force in the Galaxy can escape from. And to make sure that you can do no harm to these earthlings, we will transport you into deep space and leave you floating there for 1000 years.

Mike’s Daughter: Like something like General Zod in Superman II?

Kimar: I’m not sure who this Super General who you refer to?…But Farewell Mike Check and daughter. In five months we shall return for you (*points at Mike*).

Mike Check: Me?

Mike’s Daughter: But! Why?!

(*Kimar beams out, with STAN and Damien immediately, giving no reply*)

Mike’s Daughter: But!? But!? Ah, whatever? Just play a song.

Mike Check: Weeelll. Yes. And let’s end today with the appropriately titled song; “Chase The Devil” by Max Romeo, here on…THE MACKER!

Devil Is A Loser by Lordi

Well fellers! Did I ever tell you about the time when our 6th Anniversary was hijacked after Sam, who was a very evil demon at the time before his recent change in attitude, bought The Mike Check Show from right under our nose and then decided to let us have it back in a song battle? Well this was the winning song that my daughter, who I’m sure I’ve told you was one hell (no pun intended) of a whiz-kid, picked for us to beat Sam. Unfortunately, although we won the battle, this wouldn’t be the last time that we would feel his wrath:

STAN: So not even me or God knows what your name is, Mike’s Daughter, but what I do know is that this wildcard song of yours will fail just like the other 13 you and your dear ole dad have picked. Yes, some were good, others were weak, but it’s inevitable that you are going to be “looooosers”. So stop stalling and just give me your souls now already. There’s no song known to man that can troll me!

Mike’s Daughter: You’re gonna love…or should I say hate this one STAN. Each year in May one of the guys from…yes, I have to even give him creditwrestlecrapradio.com’s R.V.M Kai, sends us some songs from the Eurovision Song Contest. Not that I want to give out spoilers of what we are going to play or anything but there was a Heavy Metal band, of all things, from Finland that entered in 2006 and shocked everyone by winning with a song called “Hard Rock Hallelujah”…which we will hopefully play next month after we WIN this son…

STAN: Just get to the point! Now you’re rambling like your dad.

Mike’s Daughter: Sorry. My point is ‘Lordi’…

STAN: Stop! Lordi? Are you kidding me? But Scandinavian Heavy Metal bands all worship me! Haven’t you heard the pure evilness of the likes of “Mayhem”, a Black Metal band who like to burn down churches in their spare time? Oh Dammit, that’s who I could have played yesterday?!

Mike’s Daughter: Well it’s too late for that because today’s pick is appropriately titled; “Devil Is A Loser”.

Mike Check: Now that’s sounds like a winner right there here on…”6 Years Of Whackin’!”

STAN: Aggghhhh! They’re right! I am a loser, boo hoo hoo! Okay, you win! That song was no “Highway to Hell” but it did “troll” me good! Who would of thought that a Scandinavian Heavy Metal band who wear demonic costumes could troll me with a song like that?! Okay so your souls, along with “The Mike Check Show”, is yours…but not before I burn down your house!

Mike Check: NOOOOOOOOO!

STAN: Just kidding. Ha Ha, you should have seen your face. But in the words of Stewart Patrick: “I’m leaving now”…

Mike’s Daughter: Hey! Not so fast. You almost forgot about your promise to grant us one wish, remember?

STAN: Oh, very well. What is it?

Mike Daughter: Well hmmm, I don’t know? We still have some financial problems and then there’s the matter of my dad still being under house arrest, so…

Mike Check: Could you get us a copy of that Turtle Ninja Christmas CD that my daughter smashed with a hammer back in December? I think that was the only CD of it’s kind in existence and some feller call Premier Blake needs another copy.

Mike’s Daughter: No! Actually, we don’t need to worry about that anym…

STAN (*quickly interrupts*): Too Late. (*magically makes CD appear in Mike’s hands*) See ya later…oh and worship the devil. Bwhahahaha! (*disappears in a ball of flames*)

Mike’s Daughter: DAD!!! We could have been rich if you just shut…

(*Mike’s Daughter is distracted as their front door is kicked open by current TNA wrestler; Alberto El Patron.*)

Alberto El Patron (*grabs the CD from Mike’s hands*): I kill you Ninja Turtle for touching my wife, perro! (*throws the CD on the ground and shouts “Sí” each time he crushes it with his foot.)

Paige (*enters the house and nervously tries to pull Alberto away*) Alberto, stop it. It’s just a CD. You’re drunk again.

Alberto El Patron (*calms down*): Sí honey, I must have been possess by el Diabolo or sometheeng? Eh…sorry about that amigos. (*he and Paige walk out*)

Mike Check (*dumbfounded*): Fascinating?

Mike’s Daughter: But what the f…?! (*shouts at the ground and shakes her fist*) Stan! You just couldn’t resist one last prank could you! (*sigh*)…Well whatever. At least everything’s finally back to normal.

Viola Zombie by Michael Daugherty

Well fellers! During one of our “Halloween Hootenanny’s”, we here at The Mike Check Show has a mystery package delivered which turn out to be a pet Zombie. He was cute at first but really started to get on me and my daughter’s nerves when he wouldn’t stop talking about TNA, who did you fellers also know that ole Mike was a former WWCR Correspondent for? Well here’s also the time when Bookie Matt tried to help us get rid of him:

Zombie Nathaniel: Did you fix your computer problem yet because I want to hear a proper Jeff Hardy TNA theme NOW!–BRAINS!

Mike’s Daughter: Why don’t you just sh…(*stops as she sees a flying drone hovering outside the window*)…What’s that?!

Mike Check: Some kind of flying robot? Oh no!? The Martians are back?!

Mike’s Daughter: (*while walking over to window*) I don’t think so dad…(*opens window and the drone flies inside*)

Zombie Nathaniel: NO NO NO—BRAINS! Kill it–BRAINS! (*tries to swing at the drone with his Zombie claws*)

*A hologram of “Broken” Matt Hardy appears above the drone*

bmhhologram“Broken” Matt Hardy (*speaking via Vanguard One’s Hologram*): Brother Edward Rodham, I knew you’d come….to Meek Check’s humble abode. I am “Broken” Matt Hardy and I just had a premin-ee-tion that you were being a traitorous mule by attempting to terrorize Meek Check into exhibiting one of Brother Nero’s OBSOLETE songs of theme just like you did last week with the playing of tunes of the OBSOLETE Abyss of the Demonic Decay. So I have sent my loyal servant Vanguard One all the way from my compound in Cameron, North Carolina to scramble the signal and render you DEL-EE-TED!

Zombie Nathaniel: Boy Oh boy, Matt Hardy–BRAINS?! I’m a big fan…but I like your brother Jeff Hardy better because he’s The Charismatic Enigma, not “Brother Nero”–BRAINS. And I bet you can’t perform the Swanton like him, can ya, huh, huh–BRAINS?!

“Broken” Matt Hardy: You insult me with your blasphemous ignorance, Brother Edward Rodham! The name that you refer to as ‘Jeff Hardy’ is OBSOLETE and ‘Brother Nero’ is merely an empty vessel when compared to my broken brilliance. I have been blessed, by the seven deities, with magical abilities so powerful that I could not safely perform such a spot monkey maneuver without shattering all of space and time. But one ability that I WILL indulge in is to perform a classical piece on my Stradivarius, that was gifted to me by Antonio Stradivari himself in the 1700’s, and I have procured one such tune that will DEL-EE-TE your dilapidated ass!

Mike Check: Well which one might that be there feller?

“Broken” Matt Hardy: Ahhhhhh Yeeesss, Meek Check. The score that will render this decrepit erection OBSOLETE; is…Michael Daugherty’s “Viola Zombie”.

Mike’s Daughter: Okay, but this better work!

Zombie Nathaniel: Oh boy! My zombie stomach is aching–BRAINS!…But that’s due to 7 minutes of boredom–BRAINS! And…(*Nathaniel vomits a mustard like substance at Vanguard One*)

“Broken” Matt Hardy: Agggghhhhh!? Look what you did to my beloved Vanguard One! Is this vile substance Mustard?! I strongly dislike Mustard! Come, Vanguard One, fly back for cleaning post haste! And you Brother Edward Rodham, you are fortunate that my physical presence is absent inside Meek Check’s abode because I would eat your brains agaeein and agaeein and agaeein and agaeein! But mark my words, I soon will send my caretaker and General in the great war, Senor Benjamin, to prepare the battlefield for burial and then you will be OVAH! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! (*Vanguard One drone flies away*)

Mike Check: Fascinating.

Zombie Nathaniel: So can we play a Jeff hardy theme now–BRAINS?

Mike’s Daughter: Well, (*checks her computer*) I can’t even if I could because the files somehow have been…deleted?!

Zombie Nathaniel: Aaagghhh!! Now I’m getting mad–BRAINS!

Back Off Boogaloo by Ringo Starr

Still speaking of my “This Is your Life” special. That hack drummer Ringo Starr was still in attendance to bother ole Mike. Fortunately for yours truly, The Boogeyman made a return. And this time, it’s wasn’t to “come and get me”:

Foley: Thanks for joining us again for “Mike Check’s This Is Your Life” and I have some good news; ole Mike Check is back with his daughter for our big finale! Thankfully, his heart attack was only mild.

Mike Check: Eh. It’s nothing that ole Mike’s hasn’t been through before Rick.

Mike’s Daughter: Yeah dad’s probably had 50 heart attacks by now, 35 of which involved hookers, and…(*feels sick*) ewwww, I don’t want to talk about the awkward moments of getting him to the hospital…now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the bathroom hurling.

Foley: Ah? Well? While Mike’s daughter is off to possibly take a “Ringo” and wipe her “Starr”, speaking of that, also re-joining us is…

Ringo (*offended*): Very Funny Mick! Do you know who I am? I’m Ringo bloddy Starr! The biggest Rock n’ Roll legend to ever come from The Beatles! Not John! Not Paul! And forget George! I have not one but TWO plaques in the Hall Of Fame! And Mick, you dog’s bollocks, I should receive the honor of the tribute today or I’ll sue you!

Foley: I’m really starting to see why you hate this guy Mike.

Mike Check: I told you that it was a bad idea to bring this feller on.

Ringo: Silence! Why couldn’t you have just dropped dead Mike?! And (*distracted*)…what’s this John Wayne impersonator doing here?

Angry Jim: F*** YOURSELF! I DON’T KNOW EITHER?!

Foley: Oh sorry, I forgot to mention that good ol’ J.R. has also joined us for the finale and to also morn the loss of his Japanese cousin, Jimichiro Rosshu, who died in a tragic explosion two weeks ago. Oh, and I’m also sorry Jim that I didn’t tell you about that until now.

Angry Jim: F***!? JIMICHIRO WAS HERE AND DIED?! WELL I’M SORRY TOO MICK. SORRY I NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO…STOMP A MUD-HOLE IN HIS ***! WHICH IS WHAT I MIGHT DO TO THIS BRITISH ****HEAD RINGO INSTEAD!

Ringo: Do that and I’ll sue you, but I’m told that you’re flat broke, so bugger off!….(*distracted again*) Wait! What’s that?!?!

Angry Jim: BY GAWD! IT’S THE BOOGEYMAN! WHAT’S THE BOOGEYMAN DOIN’ HERE?!

Mike Check: Oh no! I knew the Boogeyman is real and he’s coming to get me!

(*The Boogeyman shuffles over to Mike but turns his attention to Ringo*)

Ringo: “Back Off Boogaloo”! If you put your grubby hands on me I’ll sue you also!

The Boogeyman: Tick Tock, Tick Tock. (*smashes large clock on head*) DAH! BWAHAHAHAHA! I’M THE BOOGEYMAN! AND I’M COMIN’ TO GET YA!

Angry Jim (*doing commentary*): BY GAWD! THE BOOGEYMAN’S SMASHED THAT CLOCK RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD! AND BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP AS THE BOOGEYMAN IS NOW PICKING RINGO UP…AND OHHHH! HE’S GIVEN RINGO THE BOOGEYBOMB! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! HE’S BROKEN IN HALF! …AND NOW THE BOOGEYMAN’S PICKIN’ UP RINGO AGAIN AND NOW MAKIN’ LIKE A TREE AND LEAVIN’ THE BUILDING! I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE?!

Mike’s Daughter: (*walks back into the room*) Sorry, what did I miss?

Foley: The Boogeyman. Well like us, I guess you can say that The Boogeyman knew that Ringo was not a “beatle” but a giant “worm”.

Mike’s Daughter: What Boogeyman??? I didn’t see no…You’re all crazy!

Foley: Ah??? Well on that note, this is Mick Foley signing off and “Have a nice day”!

Mike Check: And see you tomorrow fellers.

Angry Jim: AND GO **** YOURSELVES!

Mike, Mike’s Daughter & Foley: JIIIIMMM!!!

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