Mike Check: Weeelll fellers. After yesterday’s phone call, there’s a feeling of hope.
Mike’s Daughter: Dad? What phone call?
Mike Check: Er? Nothing there darlin’. (*to audience*) Will that mean that ole Mike “Don’t Walk Away” from THE MACKER! Stay tuned.
Mike Check: Hello, KMCR?
SAM O’Hellyeah: Hello Mike. It’s been a week and I haven’t heard back from you? So have you thought about my offer to help keep your show?
Mike Check: Well I thought about it and, *sigh* I don’t know there feller? I’m not sure that I should put my trust in a stranger?
SAM O’Hellyeah: But Mike, they’re going to take your show away from you.
Mike Check: You don’t know that, perhaps they’ll even keep ole Mike around? Because it’s like they say; “Better The Devil You Know” than the devil you don’t.
SAM O’Hellyeah: If you only knew Mike (*laughs maniacally but then coughs*). Anyway, could you please think about it by the end of the month?
Mike Check: Okay, I’ll think about it. (*hangs up*).
Mike’s Daughter: Who were you talking to dad?
Mike Check: No one. One one at all.
Mike’s Daughter: Huh?
Mike’s Daughter: Dad I know we’re in big trouble with our finances as of late but people are messaging me like hell on Facebook asking if you had any connection with Lance Catamaran? Is that true?
Mike Check: Lance…Catamaran? Name doesn’t ring a bell Darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: Let me see if I can help. WWE recently found a lost VHS tape of a wrestling promotion called “Southpaw Regional Wrestling” and there’s this commentator named Lance Catamaran. Now Lance keeps repeating of a job that he had in Utica, New York as a newscaster. Does that help?
Mike Check: Hrm. Utica did you say?
Mike’s Daughter: Yes Utica.
Mike Check: I don’t remember any Lance Catmandu but I do remember working in the Utica Market. I stayed in the New York area after I was let go from WTKO in Ithaca, that’s where I did “The Bob & Weave Show” and one of the places I landed was a radio station in the Utica area. Shortly afterwards the radio station merged with a local Utica TV Station WUTR. I was doing my usual Sunday Information Radio show as there as Mike Check, one of the few times I actually used my given name and I thought I keep the name of the show somewhat regional because I thought it would play well in our market & I called it “Here’s Looking At YOU-tica Kid!”
*Mike’s Daughter groans*
Mike Check: Anyways since the TV People and the Radio people shared the same building and occasionally we would meet in the cafeteria to have breaks, lunches, and what not. Usually the TV people and the Radio people don’t really get along. The TV people were always so high and snooty because they can get seen and heard while calling Radio “TV for ugly people”. I showed a few of those TV people what Radio was for if you know what I mean there Darlin’! Funny thing was this weird kid just started off as a TV newscaster wanted to hang around me a lot to know the Radio business.
Mike’s Daughter: That must be Lance Catamaran!
Mike Check: No. The kid’s name was…Larry if I’m right?
Mike’s Daughter: Larry?!? That doesn’t sound like a news casting sort of name.
Mike Check: You starting to sound like RJ and Brad there always interrupting my stories there Darlin’. Larry asked all sorts of questions about the Radio business and I was slowly mentoring him in a way that Walter Cronkite mentored me. One day Larry came up to me asking advice how to get this particular filly so I gave him some advice.
Mike’s Daughter: So what happened next?
Mike Check: He never showed back to work again. I heard he was fired for harassing a filly, he kept muttering saying he wanted to do a “Buffalo Nickelback” on her. I’m not sure I understood that particular reference there. Its too bad he was gone; that kid wanted to partner up with me and expand my Sunday show to also cover the Buffalo and Springfield area, he wanted to call it The Buffalo-Springfield Hour or “The BS Hour” for short.
Mike’s Daughter: But Dad, “Larry” could possibly be Lance Catamaran?
Mike Check: Nah leave it there Darlin’. He could had change his name into someone else as far I know.
Weeell Fellers! The Mike Check Show’s “Journey” could go it’s “Separate Ways” from KMCR by the end of the month? Let’s hope that something can be worked out so ole Mike can continue to say the words: “here on…THE MACKER!”
Mike Check (*picks up phone*): KMCR? Mike Check speaking
Gay Popeye: Aw gyuk gyuk gyuk! Well blow me……………….
Mike Check: Oh no! Not Happy Hawkeye now?!
Gay Popeye: ….DOWN! Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk! Yez Mike. It’z Gay Popeye herez and I just wantedz to say that I’m sadz to hear that ye might leavez The Mike Check Show. I don’tz have much money to help, but if yez lookingz for a job, I can makez ye my first mate and ye can “Journey” down in my poop deck, if ye knowz what I mean? Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk!
Mike Check: Whatever happens and wherever I go, ole Mike’s “Journey” is sure to be “worlds apart” from you feller. Goodbye. (*hang up phone*)
Mike Check: What are you doing on your computer there darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter (*nervously*): Ahhh? Just deleting this and that. Nothing nak…I mean important.
Mike Check: But wouldn’t that Primer Blah feller get suspicious?
Mike’s Daughter: No, it’s nothing financial. It’s just with what’s been going on the Internet lately and me being the daughter of a washed up old radio celebrity, I just need to make sure that there are some things in the Cloud that I don’t want to get leaked.
Mike Check (*looks out the window*): Which cloud? And leaking? It’s not even raining? You’ve been talking all strange ever since you came back from England?
Mike’s Daughter: Well. Since Sir Alec didn’t pay me a dime, I needed some money to pay for my flight back home. So…to cut a long story short, there are some photos of me and some “mess” on a belt. Anyway, it’s complicated, but let’s just say that I need to “Turn The Page” on this problem.
Mike Check: I said it before, you were always a messy eater there darlin’.