The Zoo by Scorpions
Well since ole Mike was a little rusty in my karate skills. Yours truly had to go through some intense training with the guidance of Wookie Matt. I had to face my fears and spar with some tough foes like a Kangaroo that was a reincarnation of legendary boxer “Smokin'” Joe Frazier.
Mike Check: So what will I have to do in my training first “Wookie” Matt?
“Broken” Matt Hardy: That’s “BROKEN” Matt Hardy to you Mike! But the first task in your Kar-ar-tay training to to come with me to my own personal zoo at the Hardy Compound and spar with Smokin’ Joe! YEEEEEESSSS!
Mike’s daughter: Uh? But my dad can’t leave the house, he still wears that ankle bracelet. The police will send him back to prison if they find out that he’s gone?
“Broken” Matt Hardy: *Mentally deactivates Mike’s ankle bracelet* I see no problem with such mere “jewellery of surveillance”, I will now teleport us all with the ability to bend space and time so that the officers of authority do not know that you were even miiissing. (* Matt teleports them all to his compound*)
Mike Check: Well there feller, so where’s this Smokin’ Joe that you want ole Mike to spar with? That reminds me, did I ever tell you fellers about the time I knocked out this young rookie called Joe Frazier in a sparing session?
“Broken” Matt Hardy: YEEESSSS! That is precisely who this is right here (*points to a large Kangaroo*)
Mike’s daughter: That’s a Kangaroo? Is this some type of joke?
“Broken” Matt Hardy: I do not jest, Daughter of Meek Check with large Mammary glands, the essence of former Heavyweight Boxing champion Smokin’ Joe Frazier, lives inside this creature you call a Kangaroo and…what’s that Joe? You are still filled with ire that Meek Check once knocked you out in a session of sparing? WONDERFUL! Well I suggest you use that MOTIVATION and give Meek Check all you have!
Mike Check: What?! (*Smokin’ Joe goes after Mike Check and grabs him in a tight headlock*) Ahh?! let go of me there feller, I’m sorry that Ole Mike was a pain in the ass to you that time!
“Broken” Matt Hardy: Nonsense! You must remember your skills in Kar-at-aaaayy to defeat him. Yeesss! Yeesss! Punish him!
Mike’s daughter: Uh, but I think that Kangaroo is really strangling my dad to death?
“Broken” Matt Hardy: No. Have trust in your father.
(*Mike Check counters Smokin’ Joe’s head lock with a judo throw, Joe hops up and attempts to kick Mike with both feet, but Mike rolls underneath the Kangaroo, he stands up and punches Joe in the nose. Smokin’ Joe then hops away in fear*)
Mike’s daughter: What the hell?!
“Broken” Matt Hardy: See, I told had you. Meek Check still has his skills and instincts, he just needs to re-enable them. What I just witnessed was DELIGHTFUL, but more training is needed. Post haste!
Mike Check: I think so too there feller! (*mumbles to himself and sighs*) I’m too old for this Zoo sh…