Back On The Chain Gang by The Pretenders

Foley: We here on THE MIKE CHECK SHOW would like to express our regret for the loss of Chin Shima, aka Jimichiro Rosshu, in yesterday’s C-4 explosion accident. He will be missed…

…(*record scratch sound effect*) but any-who, we were going to have Ringo on again but he said that he had to make a “costume change” and will be back in a few days…whatever that means? So instead, our next guest is…hey you’re not supposed to walk out yet?!

???: Mike Check, or should I say, John Smith, you’re under arrest.

Mike’s Daughter: Mick! Why did you bring HIM here you idiot?!

Foley: What? But? But why are you arresting ole Mike for? We’re trying to do a little show here? Ah…and that explosion yesterday was just an accident, honest.

Sheriff Dickwell: I don’t know what you’re talking about sir but my name is Sheriff Harry Dickwell. And I’m taking the suspect currently known as “Mike Check” into custody for unpaid child support payments that equal to over $1,000,000 for at least 30 kids in each of the 16 territories that Mr. Check used to work as a radio DJ in. That’s 480 kids in total. But I’m also arresting Mr. Check for fraudulent death, since he also faked his own death in attempting to escape his unpaid debts. And also for escaping from Prison. To say that this man is a dead beat dad would be an understatement.

Mick Check: I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there feller? Mike Check is an innocent man and a good father, let me tell you, who has been wrongfully accused. The only thing that I’m guilty of is faking my own death, but it wasn’t for the reason that you all think. The timing of it was all just a co-incidence. In fact it wasn’t even planned at all, ole Mike just took advantage of that unfortunate circumstance in order to increase the sales of my T-Shirts and Bumper Stickers that my daughter, who’s a hell of a whiz-kid, sent over to RJ and Brad. Because you understand that when a celebrity dies their merchandise sales go up and…

Sheriff Dickwell: Mr Check, stop wasting my time.

Mike’s Daughter: Wasting your time??? Why don’t you tell the whole truth Harry?

Sheriff Dickwell: I’ll have to ask you to remain silent Mamm. And Mike, you’re coming with me back to Prison.

Mike Check: Well, goodbye there fellers. Looks like ole Mike’s “Back On The Chain Gang” there in…THE SLAMMER!

Foley: Wait! Seeing that this show is about to be cut short, but before you go can’t you at least give us the story about your hunt for Mike?

Dickwell: Well I surmise since Mr Check is wearing that police issued Ankle Bracelet, and he can’t go anywhere just yet, so I think I can stay and provide more details.

Foley: Well join us here tomorrow for that and more on “Mike Check: This Is Your Life!”