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Run Away by Sunstroke Project and Olia Tira

*phone rings*

Mike Check (*picks up phone*): Hello KMCR, Mike Check speaking?

R.V.M Kai: Wait? What happened to Disco?

Mike Check: That feller stormed off the show yesterday, so ole Mike is solo once again.

R.V.M Kai: Oh good, because you know it’s that time of the year where I send you a weeks worth of Euro-vision songs? Well for starters, can you play this one? It’s the 2010 entry from Moldova?

Mike Check: Sure there feller, so here’s…”Epic Sax Guy for 10 hours”? Never heard of that song title before?

*10 hours later*

Mike’s Daughter: Dad! What the hell have you been playing today?! That saxophone riff has been going for 10 hours long?!

Mike Check: Well, that’s what we were sent by R.P.M Khan there darlin’?

Mike’s Daughter: But did you have to play the WHOLE DAMN…

*phone rings again*

Mike’s Daughter (*sees‘s caller ID*): I’ll get it. (*picks up phone*) WHAT?!?!

R.V.M Kai: Hel…oh? Your dad didn’t play the whole clip did he? I think I might have sent the wrong one?

Mike’s Daughter: You think?! I think I’m going to need therapy to get that saxophone noise…and…and that thrusting, out of my head?!

R.V.M Kai: Well it could have been worse?…Instead, Disco could have actually co-hosted the whole month? (*snickers*)

Mike’s Daughter: Oh go fu—(*slams down phone*)

She’s A Lady by Tom Jones / Funkytown by Lipps Inc.

Disco Inferno: Mike, I’m going to give you one more chance to redeem yourself and let your mistake of playing “More Than A Woman” yesterday slide. I thought that, as you’re an experienced deejay, that you would know what plays best in my market and that wasn’t it.

Mike Check: Well I’m sorry there feller, it won’t happen again there, Brisco.

Disco Inferno: *sigh* It’s ‘Disco’, Mike! You must be suffering from some real bad dementia in your old age? That’s not surprise since you’re probably not able to reach any of the decent records or CD’s due to your arthritis.

Mike Check: Hey, I might me old there feller but—

Disco Inferno: You know what, playing an inappropriate song won’t happen again because I’m going to let the bimbo with the big melons over there to pick something song for me.

Mike’s daughter: Bimbo? Melons? Why you…!?!

Mike Check: Calm down there darlin’, that’s just the way we used to speak in the old days before all this political correctness mumbo jumbo of today. Just pick a nice song for the feller, okay (*winks*).

Mike’s daughter: Whatever. Oh yes, I have the perfect song for you Disco:

Disco Inferno: “She’s A Lady”? Are you implying that I’m a…that’s very disrespectful. And for that…you’re on the Disco list!

Mike Check: Hey, you can’t do that there Disco Ball?

Disco Inferno: I just did…and you know what…you’re on the list too Mike for trying to bury me by playing the wrong music and constantly getting my name wrong. And…that it, I’m not co-hosting this show anymore! I’m leaving! (*storms off through the front door*)

Mike Check: Fascinating. He left only after a few days?

Mike’s daughter: Yeah, Thank God! He’s probably hungry and hurrying off to a soup kitchen somewhere?

Mike Check: Weell, I’m not sure where he’s gone, but that square should head off to “Funkytown”, here on…THE MACKER!

More Than A Woman / Jive Talkin’ by Bee Gees

Mike’s daughter (*walks in the room*): Who the hell are you?

Disco Inferno: Disco Inferno. I’m co-hosting The Mike Check Show this month. And who might you be…wait? I know you? Didn’t you used to work over at Sapphires Gentleman’s Club over at Las Vegas?

Mike’s daughter: No? I think you’re mistaken?

Disco Inferno: No, I’d never forget a set of Triple D sized boobs like that? Weren’t you working as one of the strippers?

Mike’s daughter: No. I was a waitress.

Disco Inferno: No, you were definitely one of the dancers? I think I even had you fired because you refused to lose a couple of pounds?

Mike’s Daughter: No, because I’m not fat and I wasn’t a dancer! But, ah…didn’t I see you once with a cute transgender person handing out…?

Disco Inferno: No. Stop misleading your audience, that’s unprofessional and very disrespectful.

Mike Check (*interrupts*): Ah? Well it’s swell that you two have already met, but we’ve got no time to chat because we got to get to the song now feller.

Disco Inferno: That’s interesting? Whenever I’ve listened to your show, you’re the one who’s usually long winded and takes an hour to play a song?

Mike Check: I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there, Discus?

Disco Inferno: Again; it’s “Disco”. You know, you make yourself sound like an imbecile every-time you get my name wrong? But since I’ll give you credit for being an expert D.J., I want you to play something by The Bee Gees that best describes me.

Mike Check: Ole Mike’s an imbecile huh? Weeeell, here’s a song that plays well in your market there feller?

Disco Inferno: Really? “More Than A Woman”, are you trying to imply that I’m a woman Mike?

Mike Check: Sorry there feller, but I thought that the title seems to fit you perfectly?

Disco Inferno: Well that’s very disrespectful. And I want you to pick another…no let me pick the song. Here’s a song about something that I do better than you anyway, and that’s “Jive Talkin'”

Bow Wow Wow by Konnan ft. Mad One

Mike Check: Weeell Fellers, we’re here joined by our new guest co-host The Disco Duck—

Disco Inferno: No Mike, you’re still getting my name wrong. It’s Disco Inferno, or D.I. is acceptable also.

Mike Check: Well okay G.I., what song would you like us to play today?

Disco Inferno: *sigh* It’s D.I not G.I. That’s very disrespectful. But anyway, I will be requesting, for obvious reasons, for you to play mostly Disco music. Although, if you listen to my show ‘Keepin’ It 100 with Konnan’, my song picks of the week are quite eclectic, so I can play anything…well, anything except “burb metal”.

Mike Check: I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there feller?

Disco Inferno: You don’t even know what what burp metal is? It’s probably still better than anything you play on The Mike Check Show?

Mike Check: I highly doubt it there feller. I can’t see you greenhorns over on WWKI 100: “The Wacky!”—

Disco Inferno: Wait? Did you just nickname my show “The Wacky”?

Mike Check: I sure did there feller. And you wacky fellers wouldn’t know what plays better in my market better than ole Mike Check?

Disco Inferno: Wanna bet? Why don’t I pick a rap song by my podcast co-host Konnan on…Actually, don’t bother to find the CD, I have the song right here (*hands Mike the CD*).

Mike Check: Okay feller, weelll here’s “Bow Wow Wow” by Konnan featuring Mad One, here on…THE MACKER!

Mike Check: Hold on there just a minute feller? That sounds like you?

Disco Inferno: Ha Ha Ha. See. I told you that I could play the best music here on The Mike Check Show. But to be fair, here’s the original version:

Disco Inferno by The Trammps

(*phone rings*)

Mike Check (*picks up phone and puts it on speaker*) Hello, KMCR? Mike Check speaking?

R.V.M Kai: Hello Mike. It’s R.V.M Kai from You know, usually at this time of the year, either myself or Raging_Demons usually call in to give you and your daughter an earful about the disasters that occur during your anniversary specials but…that whole Martian thing…? I just don’t know what to say…?

Mike Check: Weeelll is that good or bad there feller?

R.V.M Kai: I…I…I don’t know? I mean…well one thing; what was the deal with the part where STAN: The Evil Troll Lord wanting to eat your daughter’s implants??? I mean…really? Who came up with such convoluted ideas…?

(*The call is interrupted by a knock at the door*)

Mike Check: Excuse me there feller, I’ve got someone at the door. (*opens front door*) Hello?

(*Theme: Disco Fever by Petty Durham, JJ Maguire and Jimmy Hart*)

Disco Inferno: Hey what’s happening Mike?

Mike Check: Who are you there feller? Some John Travolta impersonator?

Disco Inferno: Don’t you remember? I’m The Disco Inferno. I was supposed to co-host your anniversary show last month but you never called back?

Mike Check: Hmmm. No, I’ve never even heard of you there feller?

R.V.M Kai (*voice heard on phone speaker*): I should have known. ‘Disco’, what a co-incidence? The guy who had the idea for the Martian invasion of WCW…not to mention other great ideas like The Invisible man and “Bill Ding” The Evil Architect?

Disco Inferno: Hey, whoever you are on the phone, that’s very disrespectful. Some of those gimmicks were either said not seriously in booking meetings or were actually Terry Taylor’s ideas. For that, I’m adding you to the “Disco List”.

R.V.M Kai: I’m on the poor man’s version of “The List Of Jericho”?

Disco Inferno: Well did you know that “The List” is an offshoot of the “1001 Holds List” that I came up with?

R.V.M Kai: Whatever. (*to Mike*) Anyway Mike, I was going to request some Eurovison songs…but never mind. I’m hanging up now. See ya…and have fun Mike! (*snickers and hangs up phone*)

Disco Inferno: Interesting. See, he hung up because he knew I was right.

Mike Check: So Disco Stu…?

Disco Inferno: Mike, that’s not how you pronounce my name, that’s very disrespectful. I’d also put you on the list for that but…I came here to announce that I’m co-hosting The Mike Check Show with you for the rest of the month…since I co-host everyone else’s shows anyway? So what do you say?

Mike Check: …Fascinating. Well it’s seems that we now are now experiencing: “Disco Inferno” here on…THE MACKER

Last Day On Earth by Duran Duran

Mike Check: Weelll fellers! Now would usually be the time to announce our April anniversary for The Mike Check Show which we here call: “7 Years Of Whackin’!” tomorrow, but under the circumstances, we’re not quite sure if we’re even gonna be alive to even have our special guest co-host on to…actually, do we even have a co-host booked there darlin’?

Mike’s Daughter: Yes, apparently I just found out that those dic…I mean…dears over at have arranged former WCW wrestler, The Disco Inferno, to be our co-host for some reason? Wait? Is this some sort of joke?

Mike Check: Who?

Mike’s Daughter: Exactly….but never mind that now dad, my signal’s is being jammed again?!

(*Martian voice is heard over Mike’s Daughter’s speakers*): Mars calling Mike Check. Come in Mike Check.

Mike Check: Mike Check here. What do you Martians want from us?

“Martian voice”: Your novelty Earth music that you have played, in the Earth month you call March, has caused quite a stir on Mars. So it had been decided that in one Earth day we are coming to take—(*signal breaks down*)

Mike’s Daughter: Hello Hello! Dammit, why does the signal always fade whenever we ask for an explanation?! But I think they’re coming to take over the Earth dad?! I can’t believe that this is really happening!?

Mike Check: Yes. This might mean it’s ole Mike’s Last Day On Earth here on…THE MACKER?!

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