Ave Satani by Jerry Goldsmith
(*knock at the door*)
Mike Check: Oh no. I hope that’s not Sam or even that Rosemary trying to blind ole Mike again for that matter? (*opens door and sees a cranky looking boy wearing black*): Weeelll thank heavens that you don’t look like Sam…ah I mean, hello there young feller! Are you here for Trick or Treatin’?
“Young Boy”: No! I’m not here for any damn Trick or Treating!
Mike Check: Cranky little feller aren’t ya? But your costume is all wrong? If you’re supposed to be “Angry John”, you forgot your hat?
“Young Boy”: I told you! I’m not here to Trick or Treat and I’m not wearing a damn costume! I’m-
Mike Check (*interrupts and laughs*): So what’s your name there little feller?
“Young Boy” (*frustrated*): You pathetic old infidel! My name is Damien! I’m the son of the Prince of Darkness himself S–
Mike Check (*interrupts and laughs*): But you don’t look anything like Ozzy Osbourne’s kid…Oh no, I know who you’re supposed to be? You’re like that Damien Thorn in that movie The Omen! So why are you here on your own? Where’s your parents?
“Young Boy”/Damien: They’re in the seventh layer of Hell!…Look, Mike Check! Stop Interrupting me! I’m Damien, son of “STAN: The Evil Troll Lord”! And I’ve come for revenge for you banishing my father from The Mike Check Show six months ago!
Mike Check (*laughs*): How cute. You’re really into this method acting there kid. So which candy do you want I’ve got–
(*Damien really is frustrated that Mike isn’t taking him seriously and his eyes become fiery red. Damien then ignites the candy that Mike is holding in his hand into flames*)
Mike Check: (*Quickly drops the flaming candy*) Aagghh! No! Fire! But why?!
Damien (*laughs maniacally*): And that’s just a taste of what you’re gonna get this month, Mike! My arrival shall note the end of the beginning, the beginning of the End, the new reign of my fath–
Mike Check (*slams door while Damien is talking and says to himself*): Oh darn?! He’s here!