Changes by David Bowie
Mike’s Daughter: Hello, KMCR. Mike’s Daughter speaking?
R.V.M Kai (*on the other end of the line sobbing*): Why must you always do this to us?
Mike’s Daughter: Kai? Is that you?…Are you crying?
R.V.M Kai: No…yeah, sort of. Why is it always this time every year that you have to ruin everything!?
Mike’s Daughter: What are you talking about? Is this about my dad making inappropriate comments yesterday?…Wait, I’ll put you on speaker so he can hear—
R.V.M Kai: No, it’s not about that and I think it’s better if he doesn’t hear this because this actually concerns some of your video-taped “activities” that he’s ignorant about, for some reason?
Mike’s Daughter: Oh no?!…Oh crap?! You saw it too?!
R.V.M Kai: No, of course not…well…but this is not about me. It’s about you making a film with a porn star who’s impersonating a “certain President of The United States”. Well, “you know who”, has just got back from Vietnam and has got into contact with us at wrestlecrapradio.com and seems to want ‘The Mike Check Show’ cancelled and all of us sued?
Mike’s Daughter: No?! Are you sure it’s about that and not that he’s just butt-hurt about not reaching a deal with North Korea and also his “Ex-Lawyer” bad-mouthing him?
R.V.M Kai: Possibly? But however, we have come to a agreement that the show will stay on the air, and there will be no lawsuits if you make some “Changes”.
Mike’s Daughter: Changes?
R.V.M Kai: Yes, you must become G rated and more P.C. And you’ve been given 30 days to implement a new format for the show.
Mike’s Daughter: Really? “Him” of all people want us to be P.C.? Is this some kind of “Fake News”? Oh, I get it? 30 days? It’s an April Fools joke?
R.V.M Kai: I wish I was joking. But no. And I’m just as confused as you are?
Mike’s Daughter: Okay. Okay. But first, I’m going to have to work out how to tell my dad?