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Hollywood Halloween by Paul Broucek

Mike’s Daughter: Well I called one of my dad’s old friends to “run wild on you” Nathaniel. (*knock on the door) Oh here he comes now:

(*Hulk Hogan slowly walks in*)

Mike Check: Well if it ain’t my old friend Billy Ceps or is it “The Hulk” these days?

Hogan: No brother, it’s “The “Hulkster” man, I don’t want to get you sued by Marvel jack! The same way I sued those stupid little dudes from Gawker brother!

Mike Check: Well why are you dressed in black? Is this some Halloween costume feller?

Hogan: Well you know somethin’ Mean Mike, because it’s “Halloween Havoc” this month on The Mike Check Show brother, today it’s not about the Red and Yellow dude, but it’s all about the Black attack jack! And “Hollywood” Hogan is here because he’s gonna help you land a leg drop that big stinky Zombie problem brother!

Zombie Nathaniel: Oh boy! It’s Hollywood Hulk Hogan, BRAINS! I was a big fan you yours, especially during 2010-12 when you were in TNA, Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling with Eric Bischoff–BRAINS!

Hogan: Don’t remind me of TNA Zombie dude! That worst period of my life man, although not as bad as what I went through after what I said to my son Nick on the phone got out…grrr! Now you’re really making me mad brother! (*rips shirt*) Now whatcha gonna do when…

(*Dixie Carter bursts through the door*)

Dixie: Why hello there sugahs. I heard that little ole Hulkster was in the neighborhood and (*grabs Hogan by the legs*) please come back to TNA, I need you sugah! That Billy Corgan feller wants my company but he can’t run TNA like we did back in 2010, he just can’t sugah!

Hogan (*dragging Dixie while trying to walk out the door*): Oh no Dixie brother, I told you that I’m not going back jack. (*steps away from Dixie’s grasp and says to Mike Check*) Sorry Checkster brother, I don’t need this right now man, these big stinky Zombies are your problem now dude! (*walks out the door*)

Mike’s Daughter: (*sarcastically*) Great timing Dixie, thanks a lot!

Dixie: Oh my? What did little ole me do?

American Made / Beach Patrol by Hulk Hogan And The Wrestling Boot Band

Foley: Well, yesterday’s guest didn’t go to well and…ah…I hope I don’t get any heat for our next guest. Mike, here’s a man that I knew in the wrestling business but you might know him from your days working in Venice Beach, California. Do You recognize this voice?

??? Yo Mike-a-maniac! Whatcha gonna do, when “The Cepster” runs wild on you brother?!

Mike Check: Uh? Tarzan?

Foley: You mean you don’t recognize the voice of…Hulk Hogan!?

Hulk Hogan: Yo Mike-mania! It’s the Hulkster here brother! I might have been dropped on my head many times, but I never forgot when we ran wild on the air-waves, dude, where we used to play songs about training, saying our prayers and taking our vitamins, Jack!

Mike Check: Oh, I remember you, you’re that bass playing feller with that full head of blond hair that I used to work with in the Venice Beach market at KFIT. I was Johhny Bi, you were Billy Ceps, we were the “Big Biceps Morning Drive”. But feller, I seem to remember that show ending abruptly after you took the meaning of my name “Bi” a bit differently that what it was meant and put ole Mike in a sleeper hold.

Hulk Hogan: Putting my “24-inch pythons” around your neck in the front chin lock for my intolerance, just like I put on Richard Beltzer, was my bad brother! The Hulkster, or should I say “The Cepster”, sometimes makes mistakes, man. Just like that time I called my daughter’s boyfriend a n…uh, I mean brother, or like the time I passed on that grill deal and they gave it George Foreman, dude! But it’s cool between us now brother, just like it was cool between me and Andre after I body-slammed that 850 pound Giant in front of 150,000 Hulkamaniacs at the Superdo…I mean Silverdome, jack!

Mike Check: That’s good to hear there feller, although I don’t quite understand any of those particular references there? But I also do remember the good times before that when “Bi” and “Ceps” not only worked in the studio but we also liked to strut down the beach, wearing tight T-Back thongs, looking for fine fillies. They used to call us “The Beach Patrol”. But my physique was a little better back in those days to pull that off, ole Mike used to take a little what the kids called the “Steroids”.

Hulk Hogan: I don’t know anything about “steroids” brother because Hulkster only takes vitamins, man! But “The Beach Patrol” used to run wild on Venice Beach dude! But did you know that I later wrote a song about that brother?! You know that album sold out and went Triple Platinum jack! It made more money than when me and Mr. T sold out Madison Square Garden dude! (*rips shirt*) So whatcha gonna do…

Mike Check: (*also rips shirt and interrupts*) I don’t know what I’m gonna do feller, but think I need a new shirt?

Hulk Hogan: Don’t worry brother. With the billions of dollars those big stinky dudes at Gawker are gonna have to pay out to me, man, the Hulkster will buy you several new shirts brother! So whatcha gonna do when “The Cepster” and “The Checkster” run wild on you…feller?!

Walking In LA by Missing Persons

Fellers I give up. My daughter gave me her final clue because she sees how irritated ole Mike is with all this since I can’t solve the mystery of next month’s special guest host. But now she’s apparently now in Los Angeles tonight to “collect” him. All I’m thinking is that she planning to maybe bring in Billy Ceps back from my KFIT days when I was “Johnny Bi” and we did “The Bi Ceps Morning Drive Show. So until then, my daughter’s “Walking In LA” here on THE MACKER!

P.S. If Billy Sips is coming back, I’ll have to check if my thong swimming trunks still fit.

Strut by Sheena Easton

Hello fellers, it’s your ole pal Mike Check here again. Since RJ and Brad have brought back “The Whacker!” for one night only, I want to play a song from when I worked the Venice Beach market at a station known as “KFIT”. I was Johhny Bi my partner was Billy Ceps, we were the “Big Biceps Morning Drive”. That show didn’t last long since Billy took the meaning of my name “Bi” a bit differently that what it was meant. I guess it didn’t help that I used like to walk down the beach wearing a tight T-Back thong to this song: it’s “Strut” by Sheena Easton here on The Whacker!

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