Mike Check: Well this the last day of “Four years of Whackin” Month, here on the Mike Check Show, with my special guest “Angry Jim”, thank god.
Angry Jim: Agh, Go **** yourself!
Mike Check: JIIIIM! Let me tell you….Wait I know one more song and if this does make you happy then nothing will. It’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin here on THE WHACKER!
Mike Check: So how about it Jim?
Angry Jim: Agh!…Ha Ha Ha. By Gawd that song makes it hard to be angry. Thank ya Mike for having me on as your guest. But before I go, I just want to say to your listeners that tomorrows are never guaranteed so live life today the best you possibly can and do something nice for someone that’s not expecting it. I know that’s just how I’m gonna live my life from this moment on.
Mike Check: Well, that just swell Jim. This is just like the time I worked in…
Angry Jim: Agh! Shut-up about your stupid boring stories about your *****ing markets! F*** you, your listeners and go blow it out your ass and go **** yourself!
Mike Check: ….(*sigh*) Fascinating! See you tomorrow fellers!
Mike Check: I know what you need to do Jim, you need to turn that frown of yours upside down and put on a happy face…
Angry Jim: Gawd d***it Mike! Happy face?!?! I can’t smile even if I tried because of my Palsy you insensitive *****! You think you’re **** funny like that **** Ed Ferrara who made fun of my Palsy in WCW with that **** Oklahoma gimmick! Now you’re really making me **** angry!!!
Mike Check: Sorry there Jim, I didn’t realize…
Angry Jim: Go **** yourself!
Mike Check: (*sigh*) Well that backfired again.
Mike Check: Maybe Jim if you married an ugly woman, you’d be happy? Like in the song “If You Wanna Be Happy” by Jimmy Soul?
Angry Jim: I tried it but it didn’t work because my wife is “Bowling Shoe Ugly” as far as I’m concerned these days! Oh and Mike, maybe if you actually payed your child support to those hundreds of kids you have out there, you wouldn’t be a such a horses ***!
Mike Check: Uh…I don’t understand that particular reference there Jim? Uh, play the song…NOW!
Mike Check: Well Donna Fargo has a song about not being angry. Maybe you’ll like this? It just might be a lesson to win your wife over?
Angry Jim: Shove it up ya *** Mike!
Mike Check: Well The Mike Check Show is back on the air thanks to some effective negotiation tactics by my daughter, who’s one hell of a whiz-kid let me tell you. Although yesterday’s song choice by my special guest co-host Angry Jim almost got us shut down, we are still contractually obligated to have Angry Jim on until the end of “Four years of Whackin” month. But, my lawyers won’t let you choose the songs there Jim.
Angry Jim: They can blow it out their ***!
Mike Check: Now Now Jim. I have an idea. Why I don’t I play a few songs that might cheer you up and change your “angry” ways.
Angry Jim: By Gawd! Everyone from Brother Midnight to Santa Claus has tried to make me happy but it never works!
Mike Check: Well you might learn something from “Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)” by Styx.
Angry Jim: F*** yourself! Styx stinks, just like my life! But it’s better than listening to you’re ****ing voice which is as boring as watching clothes dry on a rainy day!
Sorry fellers. We hope to have The Mike Check Show’s “Four years of Whackin” month, along with our special guest co-host “Angry Jim”, back on the air tomorrow. Today’s song got us into some darn trouble let me tell you. My daughter, who’s one hell of a whiz-kid, is having a private meeting in the other room with our lawyers…don’t know why their taking so long or why she’s keeps shouting “Oh God!”? She must be really be begging in there?
Mike Check: Well my lawyers were a little upset that the Denis Leary song from yesterday wasn’t in fact censored, becuase this is a family show after all. And my daughter tells me, who is one hell of a whiz-kid let me tell you, has even censored your language since you’ve been on here this month.
Angry Jim: What the **** **** do you **** mean?! Go **** yourself!
Mike Check: Yep, she’s definitely a whiz-kid alright. So Jim, do you know something more appropriate for The Mike Check Show there?
Angry Jim: I know a song that was once covered by a rassler called “Rowdy” Roddy Piper!
Mike Check: Good Jim. That sounds better already and I seem to remember that I once played “For Everybody” by him a couple of years ago here on The Mike Check Show.
Angry Jim: Well Mike, you can shove your censorship up your *** with this:
Mike Check: Oh no, my lawyers are not going to like this one bit 😦