Flyin’ Saucer Boogie by Eddie Cletro
Mike Check: So what’s your last tip Rowdy Piper?
Ghost Of Roddy Piper (*frustrated*): I dunno if ya Martians are gonna follow my rules! So if ya don’t get any of my rules then ya’ll get this!….(*expression changes to a smile*) Well whatcha gonna do is you’re gonna have lots of fun and gonna say Happy Halloween and Trick or Treat. See ya next time. (*disappears into thin air*)
Mike’s daughter: Wait! Is that it? Roddy, come back?!
Jimdar: We have spent almost one Earth week here, and all we received was some useless advice about a stupid, stupid, Earth custom! We’re leaving now!
Checkdar: Jimdar, wait. I am sure that this Halloween has more to offer to suit our Martian people?
Jimdar: Like what?!
“Woken” Matt Hardy (*suddenly appears at Mike Check’s doorstep*): Ahhahahahah! Yeeeesssss! Did my ears deceive me or did I hear that you Martians wanting more enjoyment for your Halloweeeeeen experience?
Jimdar: No! Leave at once!
“Woken” Matt Hardy: Not until you have tried my “GREEN BEANS”! They are a delicacy!
Mike Check: Wookie Matt! I had a feeling you were in trouble?
Mike’s daughter: Wait? How are you Broken/Woken/Whatever Matt now?
“Woken” Matt Hardy: Alas MEEK CHECK and daughter with humongous mammary glands. I was under the influences of The Dark Tome that Dusty Rhodes once written but now that I’m away from its influences, I feel quite WON-DER-FUL! Yeeeesssss!
Mike Check: I’m not familiar with–
Checkdar: (*Takes a green bean from “Woken” Matt and eats it*) Hmmm. Our Mars children will surely enjoy these “green beans”.
Mike’s daughter: Uh? Really?
“Woken” Matt Hardy: That sounds absolutely DELIGHTFUL! Yeeeessss!
Jimdar: Negative, Mike Check’s daughter is correct. Our Martian children would want something more.
The Boogeyman (*suddenly arrives and breaks a clock over his head*): I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMIN’ TO GETCHA…SOME WORMS! (*takes some worms out of mouth and gives one to Checkdar*)
Mike’s daughter: What’s going on?
Mike Check: Agghh darlin, it’s the Boogeyman!
Mike’s daughter: Where?
Mike Check: You still can’t see him there darlin’?
Checkdar: I am not certain that these earthworms are fit for consumption?
Jimdar: That is because you are a coward. Let me try one (*takes the worm and eats it*) Aaggh! These worms are…delicious!
Mike’s daughter: What?! (*almost vomiting*)
Jimdar: Affirmative. This is just what we need for our Martian children for Halloween! We’re leaving now! Go Kcuf yourselves!
Checkdar: Goodbye, Mike Check, daughter and guests. And our gratitude to this mythical creature, you call “Boogeyman”, we will now go home doing the “Flyin’ Saucer Boogie”…on THE MACKER!
Mike Check: Weeell that’s fascinating to hear. So goodbye there fellers. But are you fellers be coming back for Christmas?
Jimdar: Negative. We will attempt to abduct another ancient Earth man, you call “Santa Claus” to create toys for our Martian children!
Mike Check: Now where have I seen that before?