Real American by Rick Derringer / The Grand Spectacle (Wrestlemania VII Theme) by Jim Johnston
Mike’s Daughter: Hi kids. Today we have something special in store for the number seven. But before that, I want to tell you kids about a big show that’s hapening today called “WWE Wrestlemania”. I’m not sure if your parents let you watch that show because of those mean, rough, oily men like Finn Balor—(*starts daydreaming*)
Mike Check: Ah? What were you saying?
Mike’s Daughter: He’s abs are so dreamy…I mean…Remember the time when I was a young girl and you took me to Wrestlemania. It was Wrestlemania 7 in fact?
Mike Check: You know, ole Mike remembers a lot of stories, but I’m not sure I remember taking you to the rasslin’ shows?
Mike’s Daughter: Dad! can you just play pretend that you were actually a good father and took me places, rather than traveling around the country and getting drunk off your…ha ha…
Mike Check: Oh yes, I remember taking you to that WWWF Wrestlefest show with…?
Mike’s Daughter: Hulk Hogan.
Mike Check: Yep, and Chief Jay Strongbow?
Mike’s Daughter: No, it was Sgt. Slaughter. But anyway, it was so much fun. Oh, and speaking of that; do you know that we have a special guest today dad?
Mike Check: Oh, is it Chief Jay Strongbow?…How?
Mike’s Daughter (*sigh*): No, it’s our old Friend: Hulk Hogan!
Hogan: Well you know something Mike Check! The Hulkster has to thank you, brother, for being the first person to invite me on your show three years ago after Hulkamaina stopped running wild in the WWE, dude! Just because I called my daughter’s boyfriend a n—
Mike’s Daughter (*coughs*): Ahem!
Hogan: I mean, it’s Wrestlemania today, jack. Wrestemania 35 in fact, man. That means it was 32 years since I slammed that 670 pound Andre The Giant in The Silverdome, brother! And you know how I did that, kids?
Mike’s daughter: How was that Hulk?
Hogan: It was from years of following the Four Demandments, and that’s: Train, Say Your Prayers, Eat Your Vitamins, and Believe in Yourself, brother! Just like that Chris Hemsworth dude is gonna do when he plays The Hulkster in my new biopic, brother!
Mike’s Daughter: Yes that interesting Hulk, but today is about the “number 7” and at Wrestlemania 7 you slammed Sgt. Slaughter.
Hogan: That’s right, dude. And I’m here to tell you little Hulkamainacs about the time that green mean Sgt. Slaughter defected to Iraq, jack. And Since the Hulkster was the Real American Hero, brother, I leg dropped that wannabee sand ni—-
Mike Check (*quickly interrupts*): Why thank ya there Holster. And speaking of the number “7”, here’s the theme to Wrestlefest…I mean mania 7, here on The New Mike Check Show!