D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by Billy Connolly
Mike’s Daughter: Only you Dad can incite a bunch of pro wrestlers from the same country to kill you!
Mike Check: Well that was not my intention there Darlin’.
Mike’s Daughter: How am I supposed to go to work when I have a bunch of angry, pissed off, Canadian pro wrestlers camped out on the front lawn?!
Mike Check: Reason with them? I could go and do that. Word to your Canadian Moms!
Mike’s Daughter: NO! That could make things worse. I’ll try to sneak out through the back door.
*As Mike Check’s Daughter tries to sneak out through the back door, she opens it and finds Lance Storm blocking her way out*
Lance Storm: If I could be serious for a minute–
Mike’s Daughter: AH!!
Lance Storm: Could you please bring out one Mike Check so we can kill him?
Mike’s Daughter: My Dad didn’t know what he was doing. He was trying to make everyone happy! *whispers flirtatiously* I hear that your pretty big. I could make it–
Lance Storm: Ma’am, the stories of me having a big penis were part of a gimmick by WWE to make myself look “boring”.
Mike’s Daughter: REALLY?!
Lance Storm: Now will you please bring out Mike Check? If you do not then Canada will have no choice to divorce the United States of America!
Mike’s Daughter: WHAT?!
Lance Storm: Your leaving us no option with Canada being forced to divorce the United States of America. That’s D-I-V–
*Sami Zayn rushes in*
Sami Zayn: Lance! Come quick! Gail Kim and Trish Stratus are having a no-holds barred, bloody cat fight trying to decide who wants to rip the heart out of that asshole Mike Check’s body!
Lance Storm: Damnit! Keep an eye on her, she knows where Mike Check is! *rushes off*