Back To Earth by Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard / Men In Black by Will Smith
Mike Check: So, weelll hello there my Earth fellers! Ole Mike is finally home; “Back To Earth” where I belong, and the galaxy is also safe once again. So in light of all that, here’s Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard back here on Earth’s KMCR…THE MACKER!
Mike’s Daughter: Hey dad, look at the Martian newspaper from the future that Doc Brown left us last October. You know how it read; “STAN IS THE NEW GOD OF MARS”…well look at it now?
(*The Newspaper headline fades and now reads “CHECKDAR IS OUR NEW GOD OF RADIO”*)
Mike Check: Welll, I’m so glad for that feller. That Checkdar was one fine egg let me tell—-
(*Mike is interrupted by police sirens outside and the police pull up to Mike’s door*)
Mike’s Daughter: Ah dad, I forgot to tell you. I had a visit from the police just after you were abducted a month ago and…long story short…we may have a minor issue with your parole violation.
Mike Check: Why don’t you worry there darlin’. (*opens the front door*)
Police Officer #1: Mr. Mike Check. You are under arrest for parole volioation, you need to come with us to the station right now.
Mike Check: Why hello there fellers, yes but why don’t you allow me to put on my sunglasses first (*Mike uses a “Neuralyzer” like in the film “Men In Black” and the police freeze momentarily*) Fellers, ole Mike was home this whole time…and I never went to Mars either.
Police Officer #2: Yes…you never left the house.
Police Officer #1: We’re leaving now.
(*The police leave*)
Mike’s daughter: Dad, where did you get that from? Is that a Neuralyzer like in “Men In Black”?
Mike Check: Don’t you remember there darlin’? This was what that Martian called Gaiedar slipped in my pocket before we left Mars. And you know by the smell of this thing…uh….let me just go in the kitchen throw this thing away and wash my hands.
Mike’s daughter: Whatever. You should use that Neuralyzer on me to forget all the craziness with the Martians and STAN wanting to use a silicone draining machine on me…I mean…what the hell was that all about?! But instead, let’s just play some Will Smith…I need to lie down.