Illegal Alien by Genesis
Mike Check: Weell ole Mike is still hosting The Mike Check Show from…The Slammer. And—
(*Kimar, Jimdar and Gaiedar show up outside Mike’s cell*)
Kimar: Mike Check. We have decided on your punishment. Although I do not agree with it, it is law that has been set for centuries—
Jimdar: You are going to be executed!
Kimar: Enough Jimdar! But he is correct. On the next Martian day, you will be escorted to the courtyard and you will be shot via ray gun…by myself.
Jimdar: But it should be me that should shoot Mike Check! He hand Kcufed my wife!
Kimar: I said enough Kimar! But Mike Check, you broke the law of adultery and—
Checkdar: But that is not fair! Mike Check is a fine earthling man and his crime was a pure accident on his part. Sure he has his faults…many of them, but you were the one that kidnapped him and forced him to be here!
Mike Check: It’s fine there feller—
Checkdar: No this is not fine! It is not Mike Check’s fault that he has been plagued by all this martian trickery?! Why is it that it is he that has been treated like an “Illegal Alien”? When it is you that is the true culprit!
Kimar: Checkdar, I order that you cease speaking or I will execute you also!
Checkdar: Well…Go Kcuf yourself! See, I said it!
Kimar: That’s it, Checkdar. For your disrespect, you will join Mike Check in the same punishment!
Checkdar: Oh no. But—
Kimar: I’m leaving now. (*turns and leaves*)
Jimdar: See you in Martian Hell! (*also leaves*)
Gaiedar (*sobbing*): It could have been beautiful between us, Mike Check. But if it would make matter more comfortable, I could arrange to have your last night spent in my quarters…?
Mike Check: No!
(*Gaiedar sobs and also leaves*)
Mike Check: Fascinating. Weellll, I was picturing my death as having a heart attack on top of three naked fillies, but that will never happen now? Oh well.