The Little Space Girl by Jesse Lee Turner
Clariedar: So Mike Check, I find you to be an attractive Earth male.
Mike Check: Why thank ya there, you’re also one pretty filly…for a Martian that is.
Clariedar: My gratitude, Mike Check. I have been married to Jimdar for many years. He was once a very attractive Martian in his youth. He looked so strong in that Spaceball uniform that he used to wear. Did you know that he at once time scored four down-touches in a single match?
Mike Check: Yes, I know he mentioned that many…many…many times. But how would a pretty filly like you fall in love with such an angry man like that?
Clariedar: Negative. He was once a happy Martian. However, especually ever since the end of the Great Martina War, his personality has changed dramatically. I guess with this new clothing style, and what you on earth call “make-up”, I have seemed to have made myself appear more attractive to other males. But I do not understand why Jimdar is not attracted to me anymore?
Mike Check: I’m not sure, but if there was an earth filly like you. I’d be a one woman man.
Clariedar: Oh Mike Check, I have an idea. I will divorce Jimdar and you will marry me.
Gaiedar and Checkdar: Whaat?!
Mike Check: Uh? I’m flattered but…
Clariedar: Why not? My life is miserable. And Jimdar’s constant paranoia of me cheating on our marriage is frustrating. He does not appreciate me.
Gaiedar: This is preposterous! You cannot do this…Mike Check is with me!…(*everyone looks confused and shakes their heads*)…Mike Check is not attracted to me?
Clariedar: But how could Gaiedar be with you? He is a Male?
Mike Check: It’s a long story…uh, but I can’t be with a Martian anyway…It just wouldn’t be right. You have four arms, three lips, three eyes—
Clariedar: I do not understand? Is that some sort of Earthling humor? My Martian biology is not that much different to yours. But there is one extra difference that you might enjoy. (*lifts up her shirt and exposes her boobs…all “three” of them*) Mike Check, now you’re gonna wish you had three hands?
Gaiedar: Clairdar! That is disgusting! Well…I’m leaving now! (*storms off*).
Checkdar: Ah? Unlike Gaiedar, I do not wish to make complaints…but do you both realize that I am still here?
Clariedar: Shut up Checkdar! (*puts down her shirt, and says to Mike*) Please consider my proposal?
Mike Check (*gulps*) …Fascinating.