The Little Martian by Jan Amber
Mike’s Daughter: Great! Now dad’s been abducted by Martians, which means that I’m going to have to risk running this show solo…even though Raging_Demons banned me from doing so. Wait, My signal is being compromised again!
(*Mike Check and Kimar are shown on Mike’s daughter’s screen*)
. . . . .
Mike Check: Where am I?
Kimar: You Mike Check are on board my flying saucer.
Mike Check: What am I doing here feller? Take me back home. I’m not sure if I’m even allowed to leave my house? The police on Earth have put this nifty ankle bracelet on my leg and it’s supposed to warn them whenever I wonder off and get lost and these nice police fellers always seem to immediately turn up to help me back home.
Kimar: But Mike Check, I have come to take you back to my home planet Mars so you can, as you say, “play well in our particular market”. Our old and wise Chochem has prophesied that your brilliant ability to play this thing you call “music”, which is a new concept to my people, is just what we need for our race to settle into our post “Great Martian War” era.
Mike Check: Well what makes this Cho-cho feller so wise?
Kimar: That’s “Chochem”, have some respect, he is the oldest living Martian at 1000 of your Earth years old and knows and sees all. And he announced to me that we need “Mike Check on Mars”.
Mike Check: So he’s a little older than ole Mike, big deal. But why do you need me anyway? I’m sure that you smart green fellers could work out how to bang some drums or something?
Kimar: It’s much more complicated than that? For instance, after my wife arrived back from purchasing food pills for my children Bomar and Girmar, instead of expressing their desire for appetite, they were still glued to their “radios” listening to Earth musical progems. They also keep asking me strange questions like: “Father, what is “Boogie” and, Father, what is the meaning of “Rock and/or Roll?”? I have no answer for such strange questions? But you are an expert on such things because, it’s as you say, you have “worked many markets”.
Mike Check: Okay, but it sounds like you Martians fellers are a bunch of ‘squares’ if you need ole Mike to bring the Rock n’ Roll to Mars? But well whats in it for me?
Kimar: For your services, I will make sure to grant you every luxury that you have ever dreamed of; such as the best food pills you have ever tasted.
Mike Check: Don’t care. Take me home.
Kimar: We have fast flying vehicles, better than those Ferrari’s that you have on Earth.
Mike Check: No.
Kimar: Do you prefer, as you call them in Earth: Hookers?
Mike Check: So, what time do we get there “Little Martian” feller?
. . . . .
Mike’s Daughter: Does this mean that the Martians are controlling The Mike Check Show now? Whatever, I need a break! (*police sirens are heard outside Mike’s house*) Oh! Crap!