Rocking Around The Christmas Tree by Jillian Hall
Mike’s daughter: Aaaghh! This Jingle with Jillian album is far worse than that Ninja Turtle CD that we were forced to play last Christmas!
Mike Check: Don’t worry there darlin’, there’s only 2 songs left.
Mike’s daughter: I don’t know if I can take this anymore?! You know that Jillian Hall’s high pitched squeals have seemed to attracted all the neighborhood dogs to our house and there’s a load of dog crap all over our front yard!
Mike Check: (*hears dogs howling outside*) Well, it seems that we have some new fans there darlin? This reminds me of the time…did I ever tell you about the time I worked at over in the Portland, Oregon market at KNYN: THE CANINE! I didn’t go under my real name of Mike Check, I was “The Great” Jack Lassie, my partner was Spike Collie, we were the “The Great Collie Show”—
Mike’s daughter: No one wants to hear about your damn Great Collie Show! Just like no one wants to hear this damn CD!
Mike Check: But darlin’, the Great Collie…I mean Khali…might come over here to choke-slam me again?
Mike’s daughter: I don’t care!
Mike Check: You don’t care?! It seems that I have raised a darn whinin’ litle brat! Now go to your room there darlin’!
Mike’s daughter: Wait, what did you say?!
Mike Check: You heard me! This whole thing was to teach ole Mike about tolerance and respect, but it seems that one here that has no tolerance and respect is my own precious petunia!
Mike’s daughter: Dad? I’ve never…ever seen you act this angry or even…”fatherly”??? But you can’t be possessed, since STAN is in prison—
Mike Check: Look! I’ve had enough of your constant whining all year about what songs we play here! So get upstairs so I can play “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree” by Jillian Hall in peace! Or you won’t be “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree” this Christmas!
Mike’s daughter: Ah…okay? (*backs away to her room all confused*)