Halloween Spooks by Lambert, Hendricks and Ross

(*knock at the front door*)

Mike’s Daughter (*opens front door*): Hello?

[Theme: “Loaded” by Zack Tempest]

Matt and Jeff Hardy (*appear at front door*): Trick or Treat!

Mike’s Daughter You guys are a little late? Damien and Stan are gone, some Martians took them prisoner two days ago.

Matt Hardy: (*in “broken” accent*) Yeeeeessssss! (*in his normal voice*) Well me and my brother…”Jeff” were going to come help you guys out but our teleportation abilities have been “DELETED” so we had to drive all the way to Folsom from Cameron, North Carolina in our rental car.

Jeff Hardy: Yeah, I’m also sorry for the delay, man. But I couldn’t have been much help anyway, since I’m still recovering from my shoulder surgery.

Mike’s Daughter: Don’t worry about it. But I must say that it’s disappointing that you guys still can’t be “broken”?

Jeff Hardy: No ma’am. But The Hardyz Boyz are now “AWOKEN”!

Mike Check: I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there feller?

Matt Hardy: Look. It’s the best we can do right now ever since we ran into a little issues with “the owl man”…oh which reminds me; My wife Reby has seemed to have calmed down on Twitter in the last few days? Her recent unusual enlightened mood toward me having to work on Christmas seems to be difficult to…”describe”?

(*Matt Hardy pauses as he expects his “Scribe” to show up, but nothing happens*)

Matt Hardy: Really?! The owl man has also “DELETED” my scribe?!

Mike’s Daughter: Eh? I can’t explain wha…but I probably can explain Reby due to the fact that STAN: The Evil Troll Lord is now currently floating somewhere in out of Space and thus hasn’t been able to possess any wrestling personalities on Twitter.

Matt Hardy: Well that explanation sounds absolutely “Delightful”! Well I guess we better be going–

Mike’s Daughter: Wait! Would you be able to do me a favor? Would you be able to fix my little problem? (*points to her own shrunken breasts*)

Matt Hardy: I shouldn’t be doing this but… (*grabs Mike’s Daughter head*) aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!…With the power of the Seven Deities: Nehrick, Cole, Khawl, Sircoe, Asstar, Gustavo, Brohare! “RESTORE” this stripper woman’s enormous artificial mammary glands! RESTORE! RESTORE! RESTORE!

Mike’s Daughter (*Her breasts grow back their previous enormous Double D size*): Thanks guys. I don’t know how to repay you? But since you guys are “Trick or Treating”, I think I may have some “green beans” in the fridge?

Matt Hardy: Green beans? Why would we want that?

Mike’s Daughter: Aren’t they a “delicacy”?

Matt Hardy: Uh? I don’t know what you’re talking about? But we must be going, post haste, as “King Max”…I mean Maxell and Wolfgang are waiting for us to take them Trick or Treating.

Jeff Hardy: Well, I guess now we’ll fade away and classify ourselves as “Obsolete”!

Matt Hardy: OBSOLETE!

Jeff Hardy: Happy Halloween, Creatures!

Posted on October 31, 2017, in music and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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