Chase The Devil by Max Romeo
STAN (*still possessing Triple H’s body*): There’s nothing on the whole planet earth-ah that can defeat me and my son Damien-ah! Now, stop delaying the inevitable and hand over your souls like you should have done seven months ago-ah!
Mike Check: Okay fellers, you win.
Mike’s Daughter: No! D–(*interrupted as she sees a huge beam of light outside the window*): Dad! There’s a huge object hovering above out house! Is it a UFO?
(*A Martian transports, Star Trek style, into Mike’s House*):
Kimar: Greetings Earthlings. I am Kimar, leader of the planet Mars.
Mike’s Daughter: Oh no! Martians?! Look we’re sorry that we accidentally killed your people with that Slim Whitman song during Halloween Hootenanny last year, but we had an annoying Zombie problem and now we have a bit of a–
Kimar: Do not fear earth woman. The “so called” Martians that you had massacred, one of your earth years ago, were members of the Mazi rebel forces that we were fighting in the Great Martian War. Actually, we have come in gratitude for you helping us finding the method in defeating them with the unusual sound that you call “music”. You see, the rebels are a race that are hypersensitive to such sounds. Sounds in which have never been heard on my planet until our radio waves picked up an earth signal of something you call “The Mike Check Show”. Since the war ended, listening to “The Mike Check Show” has become the most popular pastime on Mars–
STAN: What has this story got to do with anything-ah? Now will you go away-ah! My son Damien and I-ah are trying to take over the Earth-ah!
Kimar: Ha Ha Ha. The Demon they call “STAN”; your evil powers are no match for my Martian Ray Gun. And that’s why we have come, we wish to display our Martian gratitude to the earthling they call “Mike Check” by assisting him in defeating his worst enemy.
Mike Check: So you fellers have killed Ringo Starr? It’s about time, let me tell you.
Kimar: Your Earthling sense of humor confuses me? No, we are here to take the Demon, you call STAN, prisoner!
Damien: You think my Dad is scared of your little pop gun? Why…(*Kimar shoots STAN*)…What the F–
(*STAN’s essence leaves Triple H’s Body*)
Triple H (*un-possessed*): What happened-ah? (*looks around*) Where the hell am I? This is not Stamford, Connecticut?!
(*Damien sets the top of Triple H’s head on fire and he runs out of Mike’s House screaming*)
STAN: If you think what my son just did to Triple H was “Hot”, now that you have just released me into my true form, not only can I now finally stop annoyingly saying “ah” after ever fricken sentence, I also now possess the full evil power to…(*STAN and Damien are enclosed in a glass prison like structure that rapidly shrinks*)…Wait?! What’s happening to me?! what are you doing to us?! Let us out!
Kimar: You have both just been imprisoned in a structure, we call “The Phantom Zone”, in which no force in the Galaxy can escape from. And to make sure that you can do no harm to these earthlings, we will transport you into deep space and leave you floating there for 1000 years.
Mike’s Daughter: Like something like General Zod in Superman II?
Kimar: I’m not sure who this Super General who you refer to?…But Farewell Mike Check and daughter. In five months we shall return for you (*points at Mike*).
Mike Check: Me?
Mike’s Daughter: But! Why?!
(*Kimar beams out, with STAN and Damien immediately, giving no reply*)
Mike’s Daughter: But!? But!? Ah, whatever? Just play a song.
Mike Check: Weeelll. Yes. And let’s end today with the appropriately titled song; “Chase The Devil” by Max Romeo, here on…THE MACKER!