Take The Devil Out Of Me by George Jones
STAN/Triple H: Today’s the day that me and my son Damien-ah take you—
(*STAN is interrupted as the front door of The Mike Check house gets punched through as Robocop enters Mike’s house*)
Robocop: Dead or alive, you’re coming with me, Hunter Hearst Helmsley!
Mike’s Daughter: Actually Robocop, that’s not Triple H…well technically it is, but STAN: The Evil Troll Lord has possessed Triple H’s body.
Robocop: Acknowledged Maam, but I’m no longer Robocop. I’m now known as “C.S. Robocop”. After my life was ended by The Ratings Reaper, The Trolla Corporation recovered my brain and used it to refurbish a half damaged Robocop, thus turning me into a new and improved bionic crime fighting machine.
Mike’s Daughter: But what’s the difference anyway?
C.S. Robocop: (*points to STAN*) Well, you could say: unlike that creep from hot fires of hell, I’m…(*puts on sunglasses*)…A LOT COOLER.
STAN/Triple H: Dammit-ah! I thought that Triple H buried your ass in Detroit a few months a…(*STAN’s personality suddenly changes*)…Help! It’s me, Triple H-ah. I’m sorry for trying to bury you Robocop, but would you please help “Take The Devil Out Of Me-ah”!
C.S. Robocop: Citizen. I’ll see what I can d…(*C.S. Robocop is suddenly struck by lighting*)
Mike Check: OH?! What in sam hill just happened there?!?!
STAN/Triple H: Bwhahahah! Thanks Damien, my son. That bionic fool just fell for my swerve once again. Well let’s just say; I’d buy that for a dollar-ah! Bwhahahah!…(*awkward silence*) Really-ah?! Why doesn’t my music play after my one-liner-ah?!
Mike’s Daughter: Because it made no sense you asshole!
Damien: Well, what does make sense is that Robocop has finally been destroyed for good thanks to my “fire and fury”! Bwhahaha!…(*awkward silence*) Really, no cool music for me either?! Whatever, President Trump used it, so it’s cool as far as I’m concerned! *sigh* (*To STAN*) Father, I’m starting to get tired of toying around with these infidels! When can—
STAN/Triple H: Patience son—
Damien: (*stamps his feet*) Aw, but I want to take them to back hell, now!
Triple H: Okay, okay, tomorrow-ah, I promise-ah! (*to Mike Check*) So today, I suggest that you play one last song Mike-ah?!
Mike Check: Well I hope you fellers like this George Jones song, and pray that Jesus “Take The Devil Out Of”…THE MACKER!