All Hell Breaks Loose by The Misfits
(*Door bell rings and Mike Check opens the front door*)
[Theme: “Boomer Sooner” by The Pride of Oklahoma ’98]
Mike Check: Weeell hello there Angry John. What brings you back here feller?
Angry Jim: I know that I said that I’d never return to this **** place but I’m angry because someone stole some of my BBQ sauce and left a trail of broken bottles all the way to your **** of a house!
Mike’s Daughter: That’s unfortunate Jim, but we’ve got our hands tied right now with this devil child, Damien! (*looks around*) where is that evil pip-squeak hiding anyway?
Angry Jim: Do ya think I really give a rats–?!
(*Angry Jim pauses as he sees a Japanese man, who looks like the splitting image of himself, walk up to Mike’s front door*)
Mike Check: Who are you there feller?
Jimichiro Rosshu: I Jimichiro Rosshu, one of 40 assistant manager of Fukya Selfu Robotics, also former All-Japan Puroresu number 1 announcer and cousin to this redneck Angry Jim-san; who English commentary provide for inferior promotion New Japan!
Angry Jim: Go **** yourself! Why the **** are you even here?!
Jimichiro Rosshu: I come many reason you redneck bakka! First, I bring forgiveness to Check-san for time he bring dishonor for dirty boot wearing in house and then have Jimichiro fire at radio station for make comment of shame and disrespect! Second, I want thank Check-San for lead Jimichro to mutual enemy Ringo Starr-San. Although I bring shame to self for failure in my T-008 robot to him destroy, now I to wish assist in partner with Check-San in investment in Check Show.
Mike Check: Why thank ya there feller. But you’re six months too late with offering to invest in the Mike Check Show since we signed a new deal with our previous bosses at wrestlecrapradio.com back in June. But right now–
Jimichiro Rosshu: Huuuuhh?! But telephone voice of small boy Jimichiro lead believe that–
Angry Jim: By gawd?! Ya wanna invest in **** Mike’s show?! Ya’ll just gonna **** it up just like the time you tried to ruin wrestlecrapradio.com by turning it into a blog about ****in’ stir-frying sex robots! Those sons of *****es still haven’t thanked me for helpin’ them get it back though!
Jimichiro Rosshu: Go Fukushima self! I ask why you really here?! You also want to Check show buy or you want fight?!
Angry Jim: No, I don’t wanna buy this piece of ****! Although if I had the cash I would take it over and play wall-to-wall ZZ Top! No, I’m here because a ****load my BBQ sauce has been stolen and….I bet it was you who did it you son of a ***** ?! I’ve been waitin’ for an excuse to slobberknocker your *** like a Government Mule for years!
Jimichiro Rosshu: No! I not steal sauce of quality inferior! But I still karate chop you ***!
(*Angry Jim and Jimichiro start fighting and continue to brawl back and forth all the way up the street and Damien appears from wherever he was hiding to laugh hysterically*)
Mike Check: Fascinating. Unlike, those fellers, hopefully ole Mike won’t soon experience “All Hell Breaking Loose” here on…THE MACKER!