Children Of The Damned by Iron Maiden

Damien: While I’m here Mike Check, I wanna make your house into my personal playground! But where are all the mortal children for me to play with?!

Mike Check: Well there little feller, although Mike has allegedly many…many…many…many children out there, my only child here is my daughter, and you can’t play with her since she’s…

Mike’s daughter: Dad! Don’t! It’s rude to talk about a woman’s age!

Mike Check: Weeelll uh…?

Damien: No! I don’t want to play with that hag! I wanna invite some children over!

(*knock at the door*)

Mike Check: I’ll get it. (*walks over to and open the front door and sees Jake Lloyd Jr. standing there*) Why hello there…wait, you better not kick me in ‘the jimmy’ Jack Lord Junior like you keep doin’ to me ever since we first met at that Star Wars convention?

Jake Lloyd Jr: No. A kid tweeted me to meet him here so we could play Star Wars! Where is he?

Damien: Over here!

Jake Lloyd Jr: Wait?! You’re that kid who’s dad possessed my dad, Jake Lloyd, to get all those drink driving arrests?!

Damien: I’m sorry about that Jake. Don’t you want to play a game with me?

Jake Lloyd Jr: No! I hate you! You’re worse than Darth Vader and Kylo Ren put together!

Damien: But but?! Don’t you wanna play a game called “Roshambo”?!

Jake Lloyd Jr: Well no but…how did you know that is my favorite game?

Damien: It’s my favorite game too. Oh, but since you still hate me, why don’t you go first?

Mike Check: I don’t get your particular reference there kids? What’s “Roshambo”?

Damien: Well, Jake will kick me in the testicles first really hard and then it’s my turn to–

(*Jake Lloyd Jr wastes no time as he immediately kicks Damien in the testicles before he finishes his sentence but his shoe catches fire*)

Jake Lloyd Jr: Aghhh! My foot’s on fire! (*quickly throws his shoe away and runs off*) Daddy! Help! (*gets into his father’s car and speeds away*)

Damien: “Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!” Bye Bye Jake!

Mike Check: Nope. If this is your way of requesting Jerry Lee Lewis here today, then don’t bother! Because you “Children Of The Damned” are only going to hear Iron Maiden here on…THE MACKER!

Damien: Who said anything about…?

Mike’s daughter: It’s a long story. Don’t bother.

Damien: Whatever. But here’s a story; Did you know that I was the one who inspired Vince McMahon to call one of his WWE special events that earlier in the year?

Mike’s Daughter (*sigh*): Why am I not suprised?

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Posted on October 21, 2017, in music and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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