Dixie by Karen Elson with The Secret Sisters
*Doc Brown, Dixie and the Midnight Rose are all gathered at Mike Check’s house along with Mike’s Daughter*
Midnight Rose: Damn puto. He was supposed to help me out with everything and I get dropped off here by a Lyft ride of all things.
Doc Brown (whispering to Mike’s Daughter): Is this the guy that’s threatening to kill Mike Check if you don’t marry him?
Mike’s Daughter (whispering to Doc Brown) Unfortunately yes.
Midnight Rose: HEY! Don’t go whispering around me! *looks at Doc Brown* I don’t like you mang!
Doc Brown: Doctor Emmet L Brown, good to meet you sir. I can be very helpful to you. In fact I once help build a bomb for The Libyans.
Midnight Rose: Libyans huh? They were pretty bad back in the day mang. All right you can stay, but who’s the caucha gringa over there? *pointing to Dixie sticking her whole face in a quart of Dreyer’s Ice Cream*
Mike’s Daughter: Oh that’s Dixie. She’s not. Well.
Midnight Rose: Well. She smells and looks like money mang. I can use her.
*Midnight Rose is about to grab Dixie when all of a sudden a gun is pointed to the back of The Rose’s head.*
???: Feller. If you touch even one hair on my sweet buttercup you miserable low life I will give you an extra hole where you can breathe.
Midnight Rose: It’s okay, it’s okay. That’s cool mang. I’m just kidding.
Mike’s Daughter: Thanks for the rescue and all but who the hell are you?
Col. Bob Carter: My name is Robert Carter but my friends call me Colonel Bob Carter ma’am and its so impolite to hear from someone from the fairer sex to speak like that.
Mike’s Daughter: Colonel Bob Carter? Wait. You’re Dixie’s dad?! What Dixie said was true! You’re here to buy my dad’s radio station.
Col. Bob Carter: Oh heavens no! I’m here because I got the latest bill from that ice cream place and they said some driver had delivered my daughter some ice cream here. So I came here to pick my little buttercup up.
Mike’s Daughter: Good! Take her and leave.
Col. Bob Carter: But don’t you wanna hear how she got here?
Mike’s Daughter: Nope.
Col. Bob Carter: It’s a heart breaking tale?
Mike’s Daughter: Look Colonel Bob thank you for helping me out here with getting me out of my so-called wedding here but I need to get my dad out of jail soon.
Col. Bob Carter: Much obliged ma’am. Come on Dixie, Mommy made us some more of that peach jam and you know how much I like some of that peach jam with my breakfast?
Dixie: Oooohhh! But I wanna stay here daddy and run the radio station. Pretty please with sugah on top daddy?
Col. Bob Carter: Now look here buttercup, you know I won’t let you do any more business deals with my money ever since you asked to invest in TNA and that turned out not the investment that I wanted to do.
Dixie *pouts*: But daddy!
Col. Bob Carter: I got your Abyss teddy bear in the car.
Dixie: You brought Abyss! Yay! Daddy can A.J. Styles and Samoa Joe wrestle for the title for me?
Col. Bob Carter Why yes, they sure can there buttercup.
*Dixie and Col. Bob Carter leave before being stopped by Mike’s Daughter*
Mike’s Daughter: Wait! Colonel Bob! AJ Styles and Samoa Joe can’t be back in TNA?!?
Col. Bob Cater: Oh no ma’am. My daughter hasn’t been right in the noggin since that mean sports company let my daughter go and that foul husband of hers left her. She went mentally insane and thinks she still runs TNA.
Mike’s Daughter: Well that explains—WAIT! WHAT?!?