Kickstart My Heart by Mötley Crüe
Mike Check: That Tweet, as the kids call it, from a couple of days ago has had ole Mike reflecting on the last month and I’m quite glad that I survived that heart attack, let alone that awful “This Is your Life” show. So today I want to dedicate this next song to my Doctor for saving my life…again.. And no, it’s not that “Doctor What” feller.
Mike’s Daughter: Doctor Who.
Mike Check: What?
Mike’s Daughter: (*sigh*) Just tell your story!
Mike Check: Ah, did I ever tell you fellers about the time I controlled the switchboard on KDOC for a radio show called “The Kickstart My Heart Hour”? Well “Dr. Phil Goode” was the host, not the same “Dr Phil” who yells at people on TV nowadays, but this Dr. Phil used to give his callers medical advice and I was hired merely to play the commercials and bumpers. Unfortunately one night ole Mike was a little tipsy and took over the microphone and talked to fillies all night on the phone about gonorrhea. Management weren’t too pleased, let me tell you, and threw us off the air. Mind you, this was back in the 60’s when you couldn’t get away with the type of things that Howard Stern later made a career of. But anyway, he had no hard feelings and is still ole Mike’s and my daughter’s physician to this day. (*turns to his daughter*) Didn’t you get some operation from him a few years back darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: (*she nervously crosses her arms covering her quadruple D sized chest*) Ah? No.
Mike Check: Yes you did, you had some minor heart operation which also caused your chest to swell up for some reason? He’s a “good”, no pun intended, doctor but sometimes he can be more like “Dr. Frankenstein”, let me tell you? (*phone rings and Mike picks it up)…Hello? KMCR.
RD Reynolds: “I-van”! (*dial-tone*)
Foley: Ivan? Was that Jerry Lewis? Well anyway, since “Dr Phil Goode” sounds like a Motley Crue song, let’s play…no I think “Kickstart My Heart” is more appropriate, here on…THE MACKER!