Have Mercy Baby by Billy Ward and The Dominoes
Foley: Mike, it might be just me because I’m still feeling the effects of my literal splitting headache from yesterday, but I think I hear our next guest arriving? Allow me go out back and see if he’s there.
Mike Check: I don’t hear anyone? Well, don’t be too long there feller.
(*unknown voice from behind the door*): Owh Mikey! It looks like you might need a little help my man with a special guest. I don’t blame you for being mad at that mutilated freak Mick Foley for breaking your windows, but it’s the hippest cat in the land; Dude Love, and I’ve come to save the day! Owh Have mercy! (*struts into the room*)
Mike Check: Dude who?? And where’s that Ricky Foley feller gone?
Dude Love: What’s the matter daddy-o, you don’t you recognize me? it’s me baby; Dude Love, my main man!
Mike Check: Wait, I remember you, you’re that Hippie feller who stole my darn mattress that time!
Dude Love: Well the dude needed something soft to land on after jumping off Danny Zucker’s roof and since I knew that you were the bees-knees of doing the “dudettes”, your King-sized mattress was just too groovy for my landing.
Mike Check: (*poking Dude Love in the chest*) Well you better pay me back there feller!
Dude Love: Well it seems that you want to kick my roody-toody-booty, but that’s not my bag baby. You see, the Dude’s a lover not a fighter. So “Have Mercy Baby” and don’t do what I think you’re thinking?
Mike Check: (*still poking Dude Love in the chest*) Yes I think I’m thinking what you’re think I’m thinking! What are you gonna do about it feller?!
(*Dude Love transforms into his other split personality “Mankind”*)
Minkind: HAVE A NICE DAY! (*gives Mike the Mandible Claw*)
Mike Check: (*gagging*)
Mankind/Foley: (Mankind transforms back into Mick Foley while still holding Mike in the Mandible Claw and stops immediately*) I’m sorry Mike, I don’t know what happened there? Did our guest arrive yet?
Mike Check: (*coughing*) I’m…not sure there?