American Made / Beach Patrol by Hulk Hogan And The Wrestling Boot Band

Foley: Well, yesterday’s guest didn’t go to well and…ah…I hope I don’t get any heat for our next guest. Mike, here’s a man that I knew in the wrestling business but you might know him from your days working in Venice Beach, California. Do You recognize this voice?

??? Yo Mike-a-maniac! Whatcha gonna do, when “The Cepster” runs wild on you brother?!

Mike Check: Uh? Tarzan?

Foley: You mean you don’t recognize the voice of…Hulk Hogan!?

Hulk Hogan: Yo Mike-mania! It’s the Hulkster here brother! I might have been dropped on my head many times, but I never forgot when we ran wild on the air-waves, dude, where we used to play songs about training, saying our prayers and taking our vitamins, Jack!

Mike Check: Oh, I remember you, you’re that bass playing feller with that full head of blond hair that I used to work with in the Venice Beach market at KFIT. I was Johhny Bi, you were Billy Ceps, we were the “Big Biceps Morning Drive”. But feller, I seem to remember that show ending abruptly after you took the meaning of my name “Bi” a bit differently that what it was meant and put ole Mike in a sleeper hold.

Hulk Hogan: Putting my “24-inch pythons” around your neck in the front chin lock for my intolerance, just like I put on Richard Beltzer, was my bad brother! The Hulkster, or should I say “The Cepster”, sometimes makes mistakes, man. Just like that time I called my daughter’s boyfriend a n…uh, I mean brother, or like the time I passed on that grill deal and they gave it George Foreman, dude! But it’s cool between us now brother, just like it was cool between me and Andre after I body-slammed that 850 pound Giant in front of 150,000 Hulkamaniacs at the Superdo…I mean Silverdome, jack!

Mike Check: That’s good to hear there feller, although I don’t quite understand any of those particular references there? But I also do remember the good times before that when “Bi” and “Ceps” not only worked in the studio but we also liked to strut down the beach, wearing tight T-Back thongs, looking for fine fillies. They used to call us “The Beach Patrol”. But my physique was a little better back in those days to pull that off, ole Mike used to take a little what the kids called the “Steroids”.

Hulk Hogan: I don’t know anything about “steroids” brother because Hulkster only takes vitamins, man! But “The Beach Patrol” used to run wild on Venice Beach dude! But did you know that I later wrote a song about that brother?! You know that album sold out and went Triple Platinum jack! It made more money than when me and Mr. T sold out Madison Square Garden dude! (*rips shirt*) So whatcha gonna do…

Mike Check: (*also rips shirt and interrupts*) I don’t know what I’m gonna do feller, but think I need a new shirt?

Hulk Hogan: Don’t worry brother. With the billions of dollars those big stinky dudes at Gawker are gonna have to pay out to me, man, the Hulkster will buy you several new shirts brother! So whatcha gonna do when “The Cepster” and “The Checkster” run wild on you…feller?!

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Posted on April 7, 2016, in music and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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