Black Land Farmer by Wink Martindale
Foley: Well Mike so far things aren’t going exactly as planned. Today, I was supposed to invite Casey Kasem as a guest but I don’t think I can even mention what he said to me after I mentioned your name? Let’s just say, lucky no dogs were harmed? But luckily, I have found another of your radio colleagues so put your hands together for former host of such TV game shows as “Gambit” and “Tic Tac Dough” and another DJ that worked with you Mike. Here’s Wink Martindale!
*Wink Martindale punches Mike Check in the face*
Mike Check: OW! What was that for?
Wink Martindale: What was that for?!? During our time in WDXI you went over MY head and made the radio manager call our show “The Wink and Pink in the Stink Show”! What the hell kind of a stupid name was that?!?
Mike Check: We needed a gimmick Wink–
Wink Martindale: Gimmick? GIMMICK?!? Gimmick my ass! That…*shivers uncontrollably* Show Name made me the laughing stock in the area! “Hey Wink where’s your Stink!” “Hey Wink you Stink!” “Hey Wink!” It goes on and on and on! It also doesn’t help that you slept with all the women in the building WHICH INCLUDED MY WIFE!
Foley: Oooo. Ouch!
Wink Martindale: I had to get another job because I wanted to slit your throat on the air! I did say if I ever see you again I’ll kill you…*takes out a switchblade and lunges at Mike Check but Mick Foley stops him for a second*
Foley: Whoa Wink! Big fan of yours growing up but I got to play Devil’s Advocate here for a sec. There must had been something positive during your time woking with Mike Check?
Wink Martindale (ponders for a second): Well…knowing that the idiot over there was still in the radio business wanted me to get out and broaden my horizons.
Foley: You mean as a game show host legend?
Wink Martindale: You can say that. I did one time while I was hosting “High Rollers” tried to get a monkey on the show so afterwards I had him dress like Mike Check and make him do whatever I commanded. Man you should see the stuff I made him do. *laughs and sighs* But they had to let the monkey go. Say Mick for $500 Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
*With Mick Foley distracted trying to answer the unanswerable, Wink lunges at Mike Check with his switchblade ready to brutally murder him but Mike Check’s daughter removes her top to distrach Wink stopping his attack*
Wink Martindale: Whoa.
Mike Check’s Daughter (to Wink Martindale while putting her top back on): Easy there big guy. How about I take you to the back so I can “calm” you down.
Foley: OK. While we get Wink under control lets play one of his songs to calm him down. How about “Black Land Farmer”?