Thunder Island by Jay Ferguson
Foley: Mike, I made my best effort to gather as many guests for “This Is your Life” as I could. Unfortunately, most of the radio DJ’s you worked with have either; disappeared off the face of the earth or want to kill you? However, I did find two of your radio colleagues from your days working as Bob Ali from “The Bob and Weave Morning Drive” at WTKO in Ithica, New York. So put your hands together for your old partner; Cassius Weave and weather girl; Suzie Shuffle!
Cassius Weave (*drunkenly*): Eeeeeeyyyy Bobby, how ya doin’ eh?
Mike Check: I’m doing great there feller, but I’m going under my real name Mike Check nowadays.
Cassius Weave: You’ll have to excuse me, I’m a little hung over. But you’re still Bobby to me baby.
Mike Check: Fascinating. Are you still drinking on a school night there feller?
Casuius Weave: Right on. But eeeeyyy, they were having a special on 7 and 7’s down at the Emporium. There’s some sexy foxes down there and ole Cassius still digs going “down there” if ya know what I mean Bobby.
Mike Check: Well speaking of “foxes”. Hello there Suzie, you’re still a very…very….very….very fine looking filly after all these years.
Suzie Shuffle: Hi Mike, thanks.
Mike Check: So for old time sake, since you were the WTKO: “The Knockout” weather girl, can you give us the weather update for tomorrow there?
Suzie Shuffle: Okay, well I think it’s going to be hot and humid.
Mike Check: Ahhhhh yeaaahh, say it’s “hot and humid” again. Say it slowly.
Suzie Shuffle: It’s going to be hhooottt aanndd huummiiid.
Mike Check: Oh yeeahh, tell ole Mike if it’s going to be…wet?
Suzie Shuffle: Well there’s a small chance of thunder in the evening…Hey wait?! Are you guys using sexual innuendos on me again!?
Mike Check: I’m not sure that I understand that particular reference there, but tell me more about “The Thunder”.
Suzie Shuffle: The only “Thunder” for you right now is ME “storming” out the door! Just like you did to me when I gave you the “forecast” that I was pregnant with your child! (*storms out the door*)
Casuius Weave: Eeeeeyyyyy, Suzie Suffle everybody! Now that’s one thunderous fox that I’m still diggin’ watchin’ her storm past from behind, if ya know what I mean Bobby?
Mike Check: Ole Mike would sure like to ride that storm from behind again on “Thunder Island”, let me tell you. Well speaking of that, here’s “Thunder Island” by Jay Ferguson here on WTKO: THE KNOCKOUT!
Casuius Weave (*angry all of a sudden*): Heeeeyyyyy, don’t talk that jive like about my Suzie, or I’m gonna knock you out to another market! (*goes to punch Mike Check but then falls down in a drunken stupor*)
Foley: (*stunned*) I believe the word to say here is…fascinating???