Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top
Foley: Well I’m back again RIGHT HERE in Folsom, California for Mike Check’s “This Is Your Life”. And Mike, I hope that you like our next guest that I picked up on my way back from Dallas while traveling through Oklahoma. He’s an old friend of mine and he used to be WWE’s lead announcer. He currently occasionally opens my stand-up comedy shows and I believe that he also happened to have worked with you in the past Mike. Do you recognize this voice?
???: Go F*** Yourself! Boomer Sooner!
Mike Check: Oh no, it’s that Angry John feller again? He almost ruined my Anniversary show last year!
Foley: No, it’s the man that calls me “Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy”, it’s good ole J.R.: Jim Ross!
Angry Jim: Go **** yourself! Mick, I told ya that I have better things to do then come back to this ****hole with this old **** Mike Check again! The only reason I’m here is because ya bribed me and promised to buy six cases of my BBQ sauce so I could **** curse on here! For once you’re not bein’ cheaper than hot dog without my “curtain-jerker” mustard, like that ***hole RD Reynolds!
Foley: Ah Jim, what’s gotten into you? Why are you so angry and cursing…more than usual?
Angry Jim: I don’t know what ya mean ya son of a *****?! I’m like the Incredible Hulk, I’m always **** angry!
Foley: (*confused and then turns his attention to Mike*) Ah, so how did you both meet?
Mike Check: Well we used to work together in the Norman, Oklahoma market at a radio station known as K.N.C.R: “The Knocker”! I was Jake Boomer, Jim was Bill Sooner; we hosted the “Boomer Sooner Crooner Hour”. Jim wasn’t always an angry feller. Back in those days he was a real “Sharp Dressed Man” and all those “Jezebels”, as you say there Jim, used to come runnin’ when they saw him.
Angry Jim: F*** yourself! Chicks still dig my huge co…cowboy hat! And speaking of the old days, that’s the time before I met my **** wife!
Mike Check: Ah yes, she was the one filly that got away from ole Mike. We used to fight constantly over her, but in the end, it seems that you won that war.
Angry Jim: Won what?! I married the b**** and she ain’t ****ed me in 8 years! I think she’s still ****in’ that ****sucker Johnny Age behind my back!
Foley: (*still confused*) Really Jim? I never knew that your wife J…
Angry Jim: Are you ****in’ her too Mick?! By gawd! Is that why ya **** brought me here?! Ya gonna give me the Mandable Claw again and then f…
Foley: JIIIM! No! …And that Mandible Claw thing? That was 19 years ago???
Angry Jim: Ah yeah, sorry Mick. Then just play somethin’ from ZZ Top’s Eliminator CD like ya also promised…and blow it out your ***! (*Jim storms out the front door and slams it*)
Foley: …What just happened here?