The Stripper by David Rose and His Orchestra
Foley: I’m sorry Mike. I didn’t realize that you weren’t buddies with Ringo Starr, but I’m hoping that this show could help settle your differences.
Mike Check: Don’t count on it there feller.
Foley: Well I’m sure that you’ll love this next guest. Since rumors say that you have been with more women than Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain combined and allegedly have about 500 illegitimate children out there. Here’s one of those kids that you actually know about. So you must recognize this voice?
???: Dad! Why did you leave me behind at the strip joint?
Mike Check: That’s my precious petunia.
Foley: Yes, it’s your daughter…I didn’t get your name there?
Mike’s Daughter: It doesn’t matter what my name is!
Foley: Ha Ha, a little joke there made famous by my friend from The Rock n’ Sock Connection: The Rock.
Mike’s Daughter: No. And you brought me out to that old fashioned “Stripper” song, really?
Foley: Ha Ha, sorry about that, your dad thought that theme would be “ironic”. But okay then, first…
Mike’s Daughter (*interrupts*): Wait, before you ask your first question, I need to know how it’s possible that you are here hosting this and also attending Wrestlemania weekend in Dallas, Texas, at the same time? I mean, you only just appeared live on Steve Austin’s podcast?
Foley: Well if Santa Claus can deliver gifts all over the world on Christmas Eve, I don’t see how a Hardcore legend such as myself wouldn’t be able to be in two places in one night?
Mike’s Daughter: Really Mick? So you’re tryi…
Foley (*quickly interrupts*): Er, so first question. What was it like growing up with a father like Mike Check?
Mike’s Daughter: Well. To say that my father’s parenting skills were bad would be an understatement. You love Christmas right Mick?
Foley: I love Christmas. So many great memories.
Mike’s Daughter: Well not for me. Like when I was 10 years old, my babysitter didn’t turn up so dad brought me along to a strip joint. He got so drunk that he accidentally left me behind and when he finally remembered me, he came back just as my idea of Christmas was ruined. I witnessed my babysitter, who also moonlighted as a stripper there apparently, dancing naked on Santa’s “candy cane”. But it wasn’t all bad, actually dad kinda influenced me in getting into the career that I’m in.
Foley: Yes, I can see how seeing Santa receiving a lap-dance like that would have ruined Christmas for you at that age. But, I’m not sure what that story has to do with you working in radio?
Mike Check: Yes, traditionally fillies don’t have the mental smarts to work in radio, but my daughter was blessed in taking after her old man and she’s one hell of a whiz-kid, let me tell you.
Mike’s Daughter: No, actually I meant my other career in the “dancing” business. Want to see a demonstration Mick?
Mike Check: Are you going to demonstrate the Cha-Cha there darlin’?
Mike’s Daughter: No. (*Mike’s Daughter places boobs into Foley’s face and about to take off her top*)
Foley: Ah?!…Well…I don’t think we have time to see your Cha-Cha’s…I mean dance the Cha-Cha tonight. Oh boy. On that note, I think I’d better boob…I mean…head back to Dallas right now.