Burnin’ In The Third Degree by Tahnee Cain and Tryanglz
(*knock on the door and Mike Check opens it*)
Mike’s Daughter 1: Dad! Come with me if you want to live!
(*Another version of Mike’s Daughter runs downstairs*)
Mike’s Daughter 2: No! It’s a trap!
Mike Check: I don’t remember having twins???
Mike’s Daughter 1: No it’s me, your daughter!
Mike’s Daughter 2: No, I’m your daughter!
Mike Check: Who the what now?
(*An “old” T-800 emerges holding a grenade launcher*)
T-800: Get Out!
(*T-800 shoots “Mike’s Daughter 2” who now shape-shifts into…Shane McMahon aka The “T-0’Mac” Terminator. They fight until the T-0’Mac knocks T-800 down with the “Shane O’ Shuffle” and then is about to perform the “Van-Terminator”, but the T-800 manages to grab his weapon and shoots T-0’Mac until he explodes*)
Mike Check: Whoa! Thanks there feller. But how did you know that wasn’t my daughter?
T-800: I didn’t.
Mike’s Daughter: (*gulps*) But…didn’t you explode two weeks ago?
T-800: That was a different T-800. I was sent back to 1985 to save both of you from being Terminated by the T-0’Mac, an advanced hybrid human-cyborg model. But he escaped in a time machine back to 2015 and I have been waiting 30 years to Terminate him.
Mike’s Daughter: Okay but I don’t even remember you saving us in 1985?…Oh wait, I somehow remember it now? Uh, but how did T-0’Mac get hold of a time machine in 1985 anyway? Who even built a Terminator based on Shane McMahon and why does he want to kill us after he saved me from the Megatrolla two years ago? Did Triple H’s Daughter send him like she sent the T-1000 to hunt Sting? And…what have you been doing for 30 years and why are you old?
T-800: I was not programmed to answer those questions…
(*A Delorean stops in front of Mike’s House. Doc Brown emerges*)
Doc Brown: Mike! Your life is in danger! There’s…
T-800: Too late. He’s Terminated.
Doc Brown: Yes! You know what this means?! Quick! Remove the chip from the T-0’Mac because it contains 1.21 Gigawatts of power! Enough to power my damaged Flux Capacitor back to 1985 before he kills Marty McFly, steals the Delorean and kills Mike and his daughter five minutes ago!…which didn’t happen?!
Mike’s Daughter: But Doc? How did you get here in a Delorian if the T-0’Mac stole it in 1985? And if you go back and kill the T-0’Mac does today’s events even take place? It doesn’t make sense???
Doc Brown: You think that doesn’t make sense? Why is it that in this reality of 2015 there are no Hoverboards and the Cubs aren’t wining the World series???
T-800: Doc Brown. I cannot retrieve the CPU from the T-0’Mac. It’s been burned in the 3rd degree.
Doc Brown: Great Scott! What are we going to do!?
T-800: There is one other way. (*hands Mike his weapon and points to his own head*) I will shut down and you must remove my chip.
Mike’s Daughter: (*crying*) What? No! Please don’t go!
T-800: I don’t know why you cry? But it’s something I cannot do. Hasta La Vista, baby. (*shuts downs while giving her the thumbs up*)
Doc Brown: Okay. I’ve removed the chip. I must be going…Back To The Future!
Mike’s Daughter: Don’t you mean the past?
Doc Brown: Yes, whatever. (*Doc connects the chip to the Delorian’s Flux Capacitor and leaves*)
Mike Check: Fascinating. So what are we gonna do with this dead robot?
Mike’s Daughter: I don’t know? Maybe I could…
Mike Check: (*accidentally pulls the trigger of the grenade launcher and the T-800 explodes*) Whoops.
Mike’s Daughter (*face-palms*): I hate you dad.